Chapter 3, The Uglacies Go Camping!

Sims2EP9 2016-03-06 21-27-38-62“I can’t believe Gage Uglacy,  my arched nemesis, is back in Strangetown.  I thought I was finally rid of him and his heathen ways.”  Knits furiously…  “How can this be?  Things have been so quiet since everyone went to play Sims 3.   All those nasty simselfs have moved on.  Especially that Candi one, beseeching the clean ideas behind legacy living, hard work, and wholesome families.  Why I remember when legacy families were a thing of pride, not abominations like Gage.”  Knits even more furiously…  “With that disgusting troll roaming the streets, I have to get some more bricks for my purse. Oh, I hope Grimmy likes this sweater.  I never can tell if he wears them, with that dark cloak get up.”

It’s okay Crumplebottom, I have a feeling you are going to be doing a lot more knitting and drinking before I’m through.  Maybe you can knit your man a colorful cloak of death!

Sims2EP9 2016-03-05 18-58-58-02Welcome back to the Uglacy Family, revived and still alive thanks to my Hard Drive.  Woah, I am a poet.  Anyway, I don’t do recaps well, so you might want to read the other chapters, but let’s just say Gage and I had made a bargain, involving simselfs and one angry zombie.  In return for putting some simselfs back in the game, Gage would butter Don up for me.  Our first victim… er addition… CowforBrains.   She took her simself off the exchange years ago, but I had her in my hard drive.  Well not her… but her simself.  Anyway, she is still killing sims “accidently” and recently uploaded a story at the Boolprop Forum last month, but she hasn’t logged on in the last couple weeks.  Heh, heh, she’s in for a treat when she does.

“Renee, baby, I’ve missed you.  Come give Gagey a big hug and a woohoo for old time sake.”

“Back off you freak.  I am so calculating Candi’s death as we speak.”

Don’t let her protests fool you people, she actually has a special place in her heart for Gage.  She literally stalked all the other simselves that ever dated him.  Now as for the legacy…

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“Welcome back everyone to the most awesome legacy ever!”

The overzealous founder is Angel Uglacy.  She is Don the Zombies granddaughter and my simself’s great, great granddaughter… it’s a long story.  Read the other chapters for details.  She’s a nice, pretty family sim who wants to reach the top of the education ladder.  She’s married to a Komei clone named Quinten, who she found in college.  He’s a mentally deficient knowledge sim *snort* that also wants to reach the top of the education ladder.  Geesh, get an original lifetime want already.

Sims2EP9 2016-03-05 15-58-16-80Our firstborn, Nosferatu was basically a miserable little brat.  He has the worse personality with 10 playful points (KILL Me now).  He was constantly unhappy, the little $&!#!!!

Sims2EP9 2016-03-05 12-45-46-27“I HATE ice cream.  It sucks!”

Sims2EP9 2016-03-05 15-59-40-90
“Don’t be waving those friendship faces at me, Wendy.  I hate babies.”

Sims2EP9 2016-03-05 16-00-22-66But Quinomei (heh, heh,see what I did) rolled the typical knowledge want of getting precious little Nose into a private school.  Headmasters… I still have PTSD when I see them coming.  Still, we whip out the chili and let the butt kissing commence…

Sims2EP9 2016-03-05 16-05-16-71“What do you want to be Nosferatu when you grow up?”

“I want to be a serial killer… of headmasters”

*gulp*

Sims2EP9 2016-03-05 16-08-27-05Let’s look behind the scenes on this one.  While trying to feed the headmaster we are at 8/90 points.  Yes, be amazed.  And Lassie picks this time to have her puppies, all 3 of them.  In addition, that is a baby on the floor and 2 notebooks of homework left in the living room.  Not to mention the keg in the kitchen.  Plus if you look closely, Angel is rolling wants to call her old boyfriend from college.  Now if this doesn’t say classy family to this headmaster, why I don’t know what would.  And just when I thought it couldn’t get worse…

Sims2EP9 2016-03-05 16-08-00-82“So Mr. Headmaster, let’s talk balls.”

0___0

Well if tighty whities don’t schmooze him, nothing will.

Sims2EP9 2016-03-05 16-17-06-89Maybe it’s just better if we don’t know how the Uglacies got little Nosferatu into an elite private school.  *cough, cough*

Sims2EP9 2016-03-05 16-09-01-64With the fiasco going on, poor Wendy doesn’t get a birthday party.  But she does get sparkles and… *drumroll*

Sims2EP9 2016-03-05 16-10-06-20An awesome doo! How many toddlers grow up in a beehive bun! My first thought when I saw this… it’s staying!  So stats are 9/2/6/2/10.  Wendy is nothing like her brother (THANK goodness for a little thing I like to call randomizing in CAS before a baby is born.  No firstborn effect here).  She’s neat, shy, active, but not insanely so, and serious.  And she has 10 nice points!!!  Woah… another Angel.

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As I go for the family breed goal, our first batch of puppies have arrived.  The puppies all look alike and have the exact same personalities,  Genuis (from Lassie), mid-hyper, independent, mid-friendly, and finicky.  I name them Frick, Frack, and Folly.  One of these lucky (or unlucky) pups will get to carry on as the family breed!

Sims2EP9 2016-03-05 17-26-40-15Wendy is basically a lonely child that lives with the dogs.  Sort of like the Jungle Book.

Sims2EP9 2016-03-05 16-37-04-78When I can’t find her, I look for the dogs.  And there she is, thinking she is one of the puppies and living on kibbles and bits.  It doesn’t help that the nanny is completely incompetent.

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And a drunk that plops her butt down by the keg the entire day.  She isn’t Super Nanny.  She’s Stoopered Nanny.

Sims2EP9 2016-03-05 17-10-29-39
Nose continues to be a little $#!+ who only cares about his selfish fun needs.

“Weeee, this is so much fun splashing in the puddle.”

“Nosferatu, please, we don’t want to mop all day.  Aren’t you a neat kid?”

“BUT I have 10 playful points and only 3 nice points, weee, weeee, weee!”

Meanwhile, lurking and stalking in the background is another nanny we didn’t ask for.  Word on the street is the Uglacies provide free booze for babysitters.

Sims2EP9 2016-03-05 17-16-16-79Insert bad Austrian accent…”Nosferatu, let me pump  you up with homework!  Quinten is  a smarty pants principal, your mudder is a univerzity speaker, how is it going to look if zuch a brilliant super couple’s kid getz terminated from school for being a girly man and doing his homework?  Your grades are terrible.  Zhis is not allowed!  How are you going to learn to talk in the third person and be a manly man if you don’t pazz school?”

Sims2EP9 2016-03-05 17-17-06-22“I don’t care.  I want to play!  I’m bored.  This sucks!  And NO, I do not want to play chess!  I don’t feel like that right now!  I don’t care if I have a D!  YOU can’t make me!  I want to have fun!”

“Fine little man, but I’ll be back.”

Clicks, looks for option Smack child upside head.  I think you forgot an option EA.  You might want to add it to the Sims 4.  Make your social workers work a little harder.

Sims2EP9 2016-03-05 17-19-08-68Well don’t look at me Quinomei, he’s your kid.

LOL, this really happened.  And they say sims aren’t real!

Sims2EP9 2016-03-05 16-53-11-25Meanwhile, totally neglected again…

“Hey, um, there’s a little kid out here with the dogs.  Hello?  Anyone home?”

Sims2EP9 2016-03-05 01-02-41-49“Burp” *wipes mouth on nasty granny sweater sleeve*

“This is my best gig ever!  Nothing like booze and dog fights!”

Say what?  There’s no such thing as… uh oh.

Sims2EP9 2016-03-06 18-12-43-07NO!  Bad dog Pierre, how dare you beat up the mother of your puppies!  And Lassie would never be taken down by a foo foo poodle.

Sims2EP9 2016-03-06 18-13-33-91Oh but she was.  You jerk, Pierre.  I should boolprop the tombstone of death right now!  It was at this moment I realized who Pierre looked like…Sims2EP9 2016-02-28 16-59-06-63

Pierre…

       “We come in peace, heh,heh.”

Aliens have infiltrated our family in the form of ugly poodles.Sims2EP9 2016-03-06 18-14-09-95

 “BAD foo foo dog, BAD!  Manly dogs do not beat up their baby mommas!  We will have none of that!  Next time we shave your pom poms off!”

Sims2EP9 2016-03-05 17-29-23-47It’s midnight. Do you know where your toddler is?

Sims2EP9 2016-03-06 18-35-34-23“Arrgh!  I just got demoted cause you picked the wrong card again, and Quinten keeps getting promoted!  The puppies are peeing all over the house, the nanny is constantly drunk, my husband only runs around in his underwear, my kid is a brat, my other kid is being raised by wolves!  I thought you knew how to run a legacy. MY aspiration is tanking.”

Oh,  I’m sorry.  I know you didn’t get that idea I could actually play from any of my other legacies.  Fine, fine.  Go do that stupid want you won’t let go of!

Sims2EP9 2016-03-06 18-36-37-59“Oh hi Phil. How are you?  Yes it has been a long time.  Yea, since I dumped you for the Komei lookalike.  Uh huh.  Well I know I was never attracted to you in college, but now I am obsessed with calling you.  Romance sim, ha, don’t be silly.  I’m family, remember?”

Sims2EP9 2016-03-06 18-18-10-80“Now little man, we are going to do those three notebooks of homework you have been ignoring.  Your father did not schmooze the headmaster with questionable methods so you could fail school.”

“Forget you dad.  I ain’t doing no homework and you can’t make me.”

Flipping, flapping, dang it, where is that slap the kid upside the head option.  I demand it now!   And when is Quinomei going to put some pants on!

Sims2EP9 2016-03-06 18-38-28-66“Hi Nosferatu.  I’m Nancy.  You invited me over to play after school. Wanna play tag?”

“NO, I hate tag.  That’s so boring.  I’m playing SSX.  Take a hike.”

Yeah.   I didn’t make this up either. Tried to get him to play with another kid and he wasn’t having it.

Sims2EP9 2016-03-06 18-43-47-94Quinomei, you are not feeding that to Wendy.  On the other hand, if you want to put it all over Nose’s cheerios, I got no problem with that.

Sims2EP9 2016-03-06 18-51-29-27Winning in the puppy race is Folly!  Folly is the only girl and the only puppy that Angel rolls wants to snuggle, play with, etc…  So it looks like she will carry on the best of breed for the Uglacies.  I wonder how cute she will be!

Sims2EP9 2016-03-06 18-55-18-39Oh, um… oh my.  This looks like a cross between  a wolf and a lamb.  Just creepy.  Guess breeding a poodle to a collie was a bad idea.  At this rate the dogs are going to beat the family in the ugly department.  I actually wasn’t going for that, but hey, while in Rome…

Sims2EP9 2016-03-06 18-54-09-76Worse, Frick attacks Lassie as soon as he grows up.  Poor Lassie, she’s so nice and doesn’t fit into this family’s pack of vicious, alien, poodled wolves.

Sims2EP9 2016-03-06 19-03-32-29Time for a party, but for safety reasons, my simself did not attend.

“That traitor Candi.  Playing Sims 3, serving up spaghetti at an Uglacy party, breeding malformed dogs.  Why she better not show her face today, or it’s wham, bam, to the moon!”

Don needs some anger management.  Hopefully, Gage will start fixing this situation soon, but betting on Gage?  Geesh, I really am at an all time low.

Sims2EP9 2016-03-06 19-12-12-89“OH my gosh, fire, fire!  What to do?!”

Even though Quinomei here has 9 cooking points and should easily be able to barbecue burgers, I expect disaster from my sims.  Hence the fire alarm. I have learned a few things, people.

Sims2EP9 2016-03-06 19-12-53-76So has Don, apparently.   Notice the fire is evident in the left corner.  But did he run out like most idiotic sims do.  Oh no.  He just sat there, eating his chips. Calmly.

“I’m not going out there.  I know how Uglacy BBQ’s end up.  I’m just staying in here and eating chips. Should have made chili.”

Sims2EP9 2016-03-06 19-13-51-68Really Quinomei?  You just won a cooking contest the last chapter, and now you burn burgers!

“The barbecue was so complicated.  It was hard for poor Quinten.”

Yeah, the science of charcoal.  That’s a tough one.

Sims2EP9 2016-03-06 19-17-17-47Every now and then, something sweet happens in my little families.  In this case, Gage Jr. falls in love with Lassie and played with her throughout the whole party.  Poor Lassie was largely neglected by the family, other than Wendy, and abused by the other dogs.  So I had Angel give Lassie to G.J.  Hopefully, Daddy Gage won’t mind all the dog hair on his animal printed furniture.

Sims2EP9 2016-03-06 19-18-43-93Time for yet another birthday party, today we are doing two for the price of one.   First up, little Wendy.

Sims2EP9 2016-03-06 19-21-05-92“Good grief, she grew up in those trashy UFO pajamas!”

Actually, I like the UFO jammies, but we have a special wardrobe for her as per the Well Dressed handicap.

Sims2EP9 2016-03-06 19-24-15-33Next up, Nosferatu.

Angel:  “NO, no,  I don’t want to grow this one up.  He’s already a pain in the butt as a kid, I won’t be able to stand him as a teenager.”

Well I can understand that.

Sims2EP9 2016-03-06 19-25-41-21“Oh my gosh!”

Oh come on guys it can’t be that bad.

Sims2EP9 2016-03-06 19-25-17-90“Wow, I suddenly feel like joining the military career and running an obstacle course!”

Tank Grunt called, he wants his clothes back.

And, to spite the camouflage,  Nose rolls Knowledge (ARE you kidding?  With his pathetic grades?)  with a lifetime want to become the hand of Poseidon.  I’d love to put him out to sea.  His turn ons are fitness and cleaning, and turn off is make up.

Sims2EP9 2016-03-06 19-22-14-66“Did Angel have an affair with General Grunt?  Because that really is going to be unforgivable.”

NO Don, I promise.  Besides, Grunts are not Uglacy material.  Mental issues maybe.

Sims2EP9 2016-03-06 19-22-54-05Geesh Gage Jr.  Make yourself at home why don’t you?

“Angel’s house is gross.  I feel so dirty, and not in a good way.”

Sims2EP9 2016-03-06 20-22-26-56Speaking of the house, although trashed and covered in dog pee puddles, it has been expanded into a super sized Barbie townhouse!  The roof is already glitchy, but I don’t want to talk about that.

Sims2EP9 2016-03-06 20-53-31-96Now it’s time for Angel’s day of Hell.  So I really like Angel, because well, she kind of reminds me of me.  She does not have the best luck in life.  First, another chance card causes her to be demoted to high school teacher.  Quinomei is way ahead of her and is the principal, which is insulting because I know who the smarter sim is.

“Yay, I was demoted!’

Being an optimist, Angel didn’t let it get her down.

Sims2EP9 2016-03-06 20-40-23-34Angel had realized from the night before that it was time to get rid of some of the pups, as the house was becoming trashed.  The hell hounds (as I like to call them) were reeking havoc on the Uglacy home.

Sims2EP9 2016-03-06 20-54-15-61But of course, we want the pups to get good homes, so Angel gives Frick or Frack, who the heck knows, anyway, she gives one of them to Samantha Ottoman, as Samantha practically lives with the Uglacies, and what a lovely canine companion they would make for any child on the way.

“I know you’re expecting Samantha.  The mom is actually Lassie!”

“Wow!  I’ll take one.”

Don’t mention that the dad dog is an alien, creepy, doofus poodle.

Sims2EP9 2016-03-06 20-55-36-82Samantha immediately realized she was duped.

“Those dogs are ugly and they smell like trash and pee!”

Sorry, Sam, no refunds, no returns!

Sims2EP9 2016-03-06 20-57-21-52Of course, the dogs did stink.  So Angel decided to give Pierre a bath, only Pierre had other ideas, and being the jerk dog he is always is, he wouldn’t let Angel bathe him.

“Bon Voyage, madam, Pierre must bid adieu.”

Sims2EP9 2016-03-06 20-57-52-39Most of the time I make fun of my sim’s suffering… but I actually did feel sorry for Angel.  She had a complete melt down and started to cry.  Pierre running off filthy was the last straw for her.  Angel strikes me as kind of a neurotic perfectionist, who tries to project the golden standard of being a flawless working mom and ends up a hot mess instead.

“I was demoted, my dogs stink, my house is trashed, my life sucks…. waaaahhhhh!”

It’s okay Angel, I’m going to take you down to the game hobby lot, cause I’ve never seen it, and you can just have fun.  Let’s go girl!  Seriously what I planned… but Angel and I were in for a shock.

Sims2EP9 2016-03-06 21-07-03-20.jpg“Quinten, what are you doing here, with that gaming lady?”

NO, we did not invite Quinomei, nor did we have any control over him.  He was just there as a random townie… I have never had this happen before.  I mean someone from the same family randomly there.  But Angel and I both figured he was just playing pool, although they sure look guilty don’t they?

“Er, Angel, baby.  As your loving husband, I am just playing a game of pool.”

Whose watching the kids?  Cause we didn’t call the drunken nanny.

Sims2EP9 2016-03-06 21-08-11-10.jpgThen Quinomei goes over and ADMIRES the exterminator.  Excuse me, mister…

“Oh baby, I love the way you smell like bug spray and toxic chemicals.”

Me and Angel in unison, “What the hell?!”

Sims2EP9 2016-03-06 21-10-59-50Even more disturbing, he swims in the pool, just long enough to change into his sexy swim suit, and then runs into the TV room with Samara and the game lady, and proceeds to exhibit himself.

“Hello ladies, look at my manly muscles.”

“Wow Samara, this gaming lot is not usually so exciting.  Lets get some beer and have him do a male review for us!  I don’t have dollars, but I have tokens for the games.  We can insert them somewhere!”

O_______o

Sims2EP9 2016-03-06 21-14-45-64Angel and I were both tempted to poke, push, argue and insult Quinomei, or insert a few tokens ourselves, however no harm had been done… yet.  So instead, Angel decided to take advantage of the situation.

“Oh Quinten, I’ve had such a lousy day.  Forget those women. Let’s go on a date.”

“Your manly man agrees.  That exterminator has nothing on you.  You have the odor of wet dog and demotion.  Quinten likes the scent of failure on a woman.”

Sims2EP9 2016-03-06 21-20-26-59So Quinomei and Angel went to Botanical Gardens, where they had their first date.  They would have made Don proud ordering the chili.  The date lifted both their spirits, kind of like the poor married couple they were that had gotten so caught up in the day to day crap that they had forgotten what was most important.

Sims2EP9 2016-03-06 21-24-13-69Like public woohoo in  a photo booth!

“Honey, whose taking care of the kids?”

“Who cares?”

Can you spell Dream Date?  I knew you could!

Sims2EP9 2016-03-06 20-31-13-32The next night, Nose brings a friend home from school, but in typical Nose fashion, completely ignores him.  Apparently Tank Grunt actually showed up to get his clothes back, and I was just kidding.  Worse, he apparently had a little thing for Angel and followed her around all night.

“Wow, you’re so pretty Mrs. Uglacy.  Did anyone ever tell you how pretty you are?  I can’t believe Uglacy is even your last name.”

“Is he flirting with my wife?”

Well technically, he’s a teen and can’t, but he sure is laying on the puppy dog eyes.

“Quinten is not happy!”

Sims2EP9 2016-03-06 20-29-28-95He even follows Angel outside to the patio and eats rotten grilled cheese with her.

“Wow, Mrs. Uglacy…”, gag, choke,”These are the best grilled cheese sandwiches I’ve ever had.”

Oh the things we do for love.

Sims2EP9 2016-03-18 20-06-46-64Meanwhile, over at Gage’s house, Michelle Young’s simself makes an appearance, but she is a simself with a mission.

“Gage, we’ve all been curious. We want to see your house.”

I have no idea why people in the boolprop forum actually asked for a tour, but I can say Gage is totally delighted to show off his interior decorating abilities.  He would like to show off a few other things as well, but I am trying to keep him on a leash.

“Oh baby, of course I’d love to give you a personal tour.”

Sims2EP9 2016-03-18 22-12-34-55“But first let me start by showing you this… MY BRAND NEW CAR!”

Sims2EP9 2016-03-18 22-09-57-02Oh my, a cheetah mobile.  Obviously someone at Mod the Sims made the perfect car for Gage.  Now time for the safari, I mean tour.

Sims2EP9 2016-03-18 21-03-17-20“Oh Gage, this is so you.  It’s just what I expected.”

“Well darling, I do have a style all my own.”

You can say that again.

Sims2EP9 2016-03-18 21-05-20-59“Is that the Girls Next Door?”

“Yeah, I loved that show.  Blondes just turn me on.”

And it does, it’s always been one of Gage’s turn ons.  So watch out Michelle.

Sims2EP9 2016-03-18 21-10-01-68“And this is my dining room, baby.  It was no easy feat to find zebra chairs, I can tell you.  I mean what’s wrong with these furniture designers nowadays. Back in the day, animal prints were in hot demand on download sites.”

“Um, maybe people are more environmentally conscious now.”

“Pfft, decoratively unconscious is more like it. You got to have flair to woo the ladies.  I mean what does this room say to you?”

“Uh, welcome to the jungle?”

“Tarzan, baby, Tarzan.  Can’t you see me swinging on a vine?”

Yeah, as Cheetah maybe…(Most this stuff was downloaded from Mod the Sims or Sim Resource).

Sims2EP9 2016-03-18 21-11-53-76Now Michelle is really playing with fire.  Gage’s bedroom is one place any self-respecting sim would avoid.

“I went tiger theme in here baby, Rawwrrr.”

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“If you want the more personal Gage Tour, that could be arranged…”

“Now, now Gage.  I didn’t agree to that.  I just asked Candi if she would let us viewers see your house.”

“Sure baby, sure.  I get it.  Home and Gardens has nothing on me.  Still, if you want to see if the sheets match the bed, I can show you some decorative tips you could only imagine.”

OK, Michelle, that’s your cue to run, girl, run!

Sims2EP9 2016-03-18 21-15-26-89Michelle!  What are you doing?!  Stay away from the…

Sims2EP9 2016-03-18 21-34-05-32hot tub… *sigh*  Simselfs, hot tubs, and Gage.  Every flipping time.  By the way, Gage was none too happy when Goopy jumped in.

“Hey, Goop, I had dibs first!”

“Maybe I just want to be her best friend.”

“Oh knock it off Goopster.  I wrote the book on ‘I just wanna be your friend cause I’m sensitive that way’.  I’m romance too, so why don’t you and your plaid bermuda shorts go find your own sim self.”

Sims2EP9 2016-03-18 21-35-04-20“Um Candi, you think we should go warn Michelle that hot tubbing with those clowns isn’t a good idea.”

“Hey she wanted the house tour.  And she jumped in that hot tub on free will.  Besides Renee, do we really want to leave the bar?”

“Good point.  Booze or a fellow simself?  She’s on her own.”

Sims2EP9 2016-03-18 22-03-17-19So here it is, Gage’s condo, which is a maxis made condo just revamped.  Very revamped.  Bottom floor has living room, kitchen, dining room, 2 bathrooms, and Gage’s master bedroom.  Yes, that is my simself watching TV. I still live with Gage temporarily, but I want to make it clear, I sleep on the sofa.  Much to his dismay.

Sims2EP9 2016-03-18 22-03-36-76And this is the second floor, where I added an outdoor patio, bar, and bubble blower.  And yes, that is Michell at 3 AM in the morning still blowing bubbles with Gage and Gage Jr.  And NO she does not live here, but she won’t leave now.

Seriously, I always get blamed for this stuff, but I really don’t set it up.  There is like this creepy magnetic draw between Gage and simselfs.   But enough with the side show.  Let’s tune back in to the legacy in progress…

Sims2EP9 2016-03-19 21-51-46-95So I realized that in all my legacy playing, I’ve never enjoyed my Bon Voyage expansion.  I always had the family skilling,skilling, skilling.  And personally, I am sick of it.  So from now on, more vacations!!!  Only, Quinomei and Angel didn’t have a lot of money, so free camping it is.  They book a vacation to the Axe Wood Campgrounds.  First up fishing… the family that fishes together…erm, I don’t know.  Catches fish?  Let’s have a little competition.

Sims2EP9 2016-03-19 21-54-32-19In the lead with a big mouth bass, weighing in at 20 pounds, is Angel.  This was her first catch folks.  Be amazed! Camping makes fishing easy!

Sims2EP9 2016-03-19 21-56-01-08Also in the competition, Wendy catches a 19 pound catfish.  Wow, my sims have never done this!  I can’t wait to see what the guys catch.

Sims2EP9 2016-03-19 21-57-28-93Wow Quinomei, that’s just sad.

Sims2EP9 2016-03-19 21-55-01-28And that is sadder!  You guys suck at this.  Girls rule.  At fishing no less.  You two should go toast marshmallows or can your sardines, or hide your faces in shame.

“Well I hate fishing!”

Yeah, yea, Nose… cry me a river.  You’re bonding with your *&^%#@ family so shut up!  See, isn’t my legacy all warm and fuzzy now?

Sims2EP9 2016-03-19 22-02-07-82Bass with buttered squash?  That’s making me hungry.  How was it Angel?

“Erm, I wouldn’t know.  As soon as I sat it down, all the campers came running and no one in the family got any.”

WHAT?!!!

Sims2EP9 2016-03-19 22-01-45-32“Wow Bill, isn’t this bass and squash delicious?!  One of those sappy legacy families just served the whole campground.  Haha, suckers!”

Grrrrrr.  Seriously, this happened several times, and I couldn’t even click on that extra plate cause some other creep townie had claimed it.  My poor sims were starving and these moochers took their food right out from under them.

Sims2EP9 2016-03-19 22-25-03-95Worse, they are pigs and leave their plates everywhere, knocking my sims environment bar down.  These aren’t paper plates you JERKS!!!   Poor Angel was always having to clean up after them.  It reminded me of the Secret Society.

Sims2EP9 2016-03-19 22-21-50-88All townies are weird but the camping townies were really, really creepy.  This guy would not leave Wendy alone and he had no relationship with her.  He kept asking her to dance…

“Hey little girl.  You want to dance?  I’ve got candy.”

“Excuse me Chester the Child Molester, but that is my daughter.  Move along.”

Sims2EP9 2016-03-19 22-22-37-00“But can I cut in?  My turn.  Come on, let me have a turn.  I’m going to stand here staring at you with my glitched up face until you do.”

“Daddy, don’t let that pervy guy near me.”

“Don’t worry, Wendy.  Daddy is going to personally to dance with him in about two minutes.”

Sims2EP9 2016-03-19 22-09-23-83“Mommy’s going to do a lot more than dance with him.”

There should be other options than just target practice with the axe, especially in this neighborhood.

Sims2EP9 2016-03-19 23-25-09-93The moochy campers were getting on our last nerve, so finally I figure out how to confuse them.  Townies are generally stupid, so it doesn’t take much.  Just put the food on the ground and they can’t figure it out for about five minutes, giving the Uglacies a chance to grab a plate and eat before these vultures swoop in.

Sims2EP9 2016-03-19 22-52-28-97Wanting to be culturally sensitive and all, Quinomei and Nose head down to the local lodge and learn the “slap” dance.  It’s kind of the backwoods folks version of the smustle.

“Slap it boys, slap it good…”

Ugh, I just realized what I typed.  Moving on and trying to keep this PG…

Sims2EP9 2016-03-19 22-57-13-10Quinomei, Nose, and Wendy all roll the want to see Bigfoot.  Heck, I rolled the want to see Bigfoot.  So after researching it, I figure out you have to go on a tour, to get a secret map, to go to his secret lair.

“So what’s it going to be kid, white water rafting, ziplining, feeding the bears…”

“Whatever dude.  I just want the map.”

I figured this would take a kazillion tours and a lifetime to achieve.

Sims2EP9 2016-03-19 22-58-24-17

Woah!  I was wrong.  First try, first tour. This never happens for me.

Sims2EP9 2016-03-19 23-10-58-25Quinomei:  “Being a principal, you kids should just let me read the map. My intellectual ability sayz Bigfoot is zomewhere in dee woodz…”

Nose:  “Gee dad, I don’t know.  The map is so confusing.  Let’s just stand here.”

Wendy:  “Hey idiots, follow the sidewalk that goes through the woods.”

I begin to realize that Wendy has taken after Angel and is smart, while Nose, sadly he is his father’s son.

Sims2EP9 2016-03-19 23-12-38-02Hence, it was no surprise that she got all kinds of aspiration points for meeting Bigfoot.

“Why hello little girl.  I’m Alon.”

“That’s a funny name for a Bigfoot.  Shouldn’t you be Chewbacca or something.”

“That’s my cousin.  Man that dude hit it big, and I have to hang out in this lousy lair and greet campers.  I don’t even have a bathroom. I mean couldn’t they at least give me a cool secret lair?”

Sims2EP9 2016-03-19 23-14-06-30“I would introduce you to my dad and brother, but they’re stupid and are playing redhands like a pair of idiots.”

“Hahaha, I like you Wendy.  Let me throw some more aspiration points your way.”

Sims2EP9 2016-03-19 23-17-40-09“So don’t you want some marshmallows, Alon?”

“Little human, I am so sick of marshmallows, I could puke.  What I wouldn’t do for some lobster thermidor, a hot tub, and central air.”

Sims2EP9 2016-03-19 23-38-08-22Meanwhile, Angel finds BigFace and feeds it.

Meet Jessie Miguel.  He’s like a red headed Gage. What a find!

Sims2EP9 2016-03-19 23-57-07-00Angel introduces Jessie to Wendy.  They hit it off, and not in that creepy townie way.  He has no idea what I’m, I mean Angel, is up to.  He played ball with her and listened to her lame kid jokes.

“Knock Knock…”

“Whose there?”

“Woo…”

“Woo who?”

“Geesh pervert, that’s not a topic you should bring up with a kid.”

“WENDY, behave.  Mr. Miguel is a nice man. That is a potential… friend… for later.”

Sims2EP9 2016-03-19 23-40-38-93Nosferatu was not really having a very good time camping with his family.  In fact, he was the typical teenager and was miserable most of the time.  The camping weirdos weren’t helping the situation.

“I dislike violins.  They are just guitars with a stick.”

“That’s it.  I can’t listen to this drivel. Hey creepy townie guy, back up so I can get the hell out of here.  And stop drooling on me.”

Sims2EP9 2016-03-19 23-42-52-12“Let me beat my chest for you.  It is the greeting of us woods folk.”

“Arrrgh, get away from me you freak.  Why couldn’t we go to the beach for our vacation?!”

Sims2EP9 2016-03-19 23-51-13-58“Well it’s our last night Quinten.  Wasn’t this great?  Bonding with the kids, getting close to nature, meeting new and exciting people.  Most legacy families never see a vacation.”

“Yes, my beautiful wife. I have loved freezing my @$$ off, cleaning up these townies dishes, feeding them while I starved, fending perverts off my eight year old daughter, and visiting Alon the Bigfoot who had no bathroom.”

“I’m so glad you had a good time.”

But before we go… a couple pictures to enjoy.  I know I did.

Sims2EP9 2016-03-19 23-41-11-71When I first saw this, I thought, wow, that sim sleeps weird.  Can sims have seizures? But then I realized…

Sims2EP9 2016-03-19 23-41-23-56She was falling on her face… haha.  Apparently hammocks take some sort of skill points.  Anyhow, that’s all I have for this chapter.  Next time we will get back to the old grind of legacy living.  Until then, happy simming.  And watch those hammocks!

 

 

 

 

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7 thoughts on “Chapter 3, The Uglacies Go Camping!

  1. I envy your nice graphics card, getting to stare at those hunks all day.

    In all seriousness, though, your stories were always my favorites back on the exchange. I read them over and over. It’s great to see more of your awesome sense of humor!

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    • Thanks Kenwen!

      I am still writing away but college took it’s toll in April, but I will be updating soon. I didn’t realize how much I missed the Sims 2. It’s great re-connecting with fellow simmers again.

      Like

  2. Glad you’re writing again Candi, I love your stories. Your sims crack me up! Don’t worry I’m sure Don will forgive you soon,lol. I’m thinking of putting Gage in my game and having him have a daughter just cause I’m curious what she’d look like(yes a scary thought). I know he had Queenie but he didn’t have a human daughter in your game(that I’m aware of). Btw I figured out the zombie thing. I just needed a mediafire page and a couple of uploaded and redownloaded zombies. Anywho I’m off to finish your prettacy and start your chili apocalypse. Happy Simming!

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  3. Hi again, I finished your prettacy, loved it. I did read the available chapters of the apocalypse, any chance you might finish that one? I’d love to see how it ends. Now I need to read cowforbrains stuff, I remember you said her sim had a good looking kid with Gage. This I have to see. 🙂

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  4. I’m so excited to see you back! I first discovered you back when I started middle school and you were in the middle of the Prettacies. I’m in college now so it’s mind boggling to think that much time has passed. It’s nice to read your writing style again, it still makes me laugh out loud.
    I’m sad to hear that the Prettacy family was lost though. Even if the kids started to look the same, they were still just as mean and full of character as the Uglacies were (like Lemon Face Heidi and her other six siblings, Ethan who was awful at romance and could only score with a vamp, Brad the Birdkiller, Renaud the family sim who wanted 6 grandchildren but never cared for them, Emo Joe, etc). Are the other Uglacies alright though? I really loved Queenie!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yeah, I miss the Prettacies too, but I lost them, and Queenie’s file had issues due to being alien I guess, but I was unable to save her back when the exchange crashed. The other Uglacies like Don, Samara, Donna, Zip,and Gage are still the originals and I have some of them available for download on the home page here. I still have the original Apocalypse neighborhood but the Pleasantview where the Uglacies originally started was lost in a computer crash many years ago. Hopefully this family will prove to be just as dysfunctional as they are actually coming from the original family clashed with my sim self (which I totally did not plan, but came together ironically). Anyway, thank you for the kind comments. I am almost finished with chapter 4 now and should have it up this weekend 🙂

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