Chapter 9, Carnie Folks

Sims2EP9 2017-05-21 01-49-21-51Welcome one, welcome all, to a Sims 2 business you will not soon forget.  I know I won’t.   No matter how hard I try.   Never content to just have a simple business for my legacy family, I decide to go big or go home!  The Uglacies were becoming Carnies!!!  Which seemed like a fitting business for this family.  I went download crazy and downloaded whatever carnival crap I could get my hands on.  This beautiful carousel is made by crispsandkerosene found here:  https://uk.pinterest.com/source/crispsandkerosene.tumblr.com/

Sims2EP9 2017-05-21 00-54-47-73Yes, Tiffany (the heir to be, or so I thought, get to that later) wanted 5 top 10 businesses. So Uglacy Land was born!  Kind of like a  glitched version of DisneyLand for sims.

Sims2EP9 2017-05-21 00-45-04-87There were bumper cars (by Echo at the Mod the Sims and at her site http://www.leefish.nl/mybb/showthread.php?tid=6828).

Sims2EP9 2017-05-21 01-46-09-72A ferris wheel from Ilana Sims.

Sims2EP9 2017-05-21 02-01-01-75Bop the evil clown on the head… and that looks like it would actually damage your hand.  This disturbing game was also designed by Crisps and Kerosene Sims.

Sims2EP9 2017-05-21 02-01-57-36Cotton candy, popcorn stands, also by Crisps and Kerosene Sims.

Sims2EP9 2017-05-21 00-49-37-45Even a pie eating and hot dog eating contest table by Crisps and Kerosene.  I also have roller coaster capabilities per Echo at Mod the Sims, unfortunately, the Uglacies literally ran out of money and to be truthful, it was not a good business endeavor.  It turned out to be hugely painful, expensive, and a flop.

Sims2EP9 2017-05-21 00-52-10-12First of all, the townies seemed genuinely confused by the items.

“Popcorn?!  But what is this?”

Sims2EP9 2017-05-26 11-47-22-80Not that Tiffany couldn’t sell it.

“Come on Pazlo.  You’re preggers dude.  Surely you deserve some cotton candy to compensate for that alien PTSD you’re dealing with.”

“You’re right!  Fluffed sugar makes everything better!  I’ll take two.”

Sims2EP9 2017-05-21 00-50-54-00But the business pretty much sucked.  *crickets chirping*

“Do I still have to stand here?”

Yes, Lil White Comet.  Sadly you uploaded your simself to be tormented… and this is what happens when you play with strangers.

Sims2EP9 2017-05-26 11-57-20-00Not to mention the lot was twilight zone glitchy.

“How did I get up here?”

NO idea, because there are no stairs there anywhere.  The carnival had issues.  For one, none of the sims could autonomously ride the rides, and the bumper cars disappeared every time we left the lot. I figured out later that carnival items were not meant for Open for Business, and should only be used as a random community lot.  Or maybe a better sim player than me.

Guess I should read directions more. You know, those read it files I totally ignore when downloading content.  Well, let’s tune in to the legacy family already in progress.  We’ll get back to this train wreck of  a business decision later.

Sims2EP9 2017-05-25 23-39-42-36First of all, Wendy, the heir, spent way too much time on the energizer… and turned into an aging professor.

“GET me out of these clothes, now!”

Sims2EP9 2017-05-26 10-06-51-62Jihoon ages soon after, he tries to go all classy with a suit…

Sims2EP9 2017-05-27 23-30-30-58But I soon fix that.  Oh, and his skin matches his flamingo!

“You constantly leave us out here burning in the sun!  We’ve all got sunstroke trying to get your stupid wishing well from the garden club.”

Sims2EP9 2017-05-27 23-38-44-33I would  argue that point except I actually considered that Shaun of the Dead might really be Shaun of the Dead…  Thankfully, he was only passed out.  All day.

Sims2EP9 2017-05-21 22-17-52-05Meanwhile, Tiffany (the firstborn) was dating Tank Grunt whose General father loathes the Uglacies.  It was like Romeo and Juliet… sort of.

“Oh Tank, I’m so glad you decided to go bowling with me.”

Sims2EP9 2017-05-21 22-12-24-94“Cause I’m gonna kick your ass… booyah!”

“Oh baby, that’s good, but you know I got all these body points from running my old man’s obstacle course.  No way are you going to win.”

Sims2EP9 2017-05-21 22-13-41-86“Er, that was just a warm up shot.”

Yeah.  Sure.  She beat the snot out of him.  Better practice up on that obstacle course if you want to compete with an Uglacy.

Sims2EP9 2017-05-21 22-08-10-79Not that he seemed to mind.  Tank is apparently drawn to strong… mean, vicious women with no nice points.

Sims2EP9 2017-05-21 22-19-26-83“Move aside kiddies.  Let Glenda the good witch show you how it’s done.”

“OH my gosh, I didn’t know witches bowled?!”

“Yeah, we got a league.  We get together every Tuesday.”

Sims2EP9 2017-05-27 22-34-02-49Tiffany was my chosen heir without a doubt, until this picture.  The twins Louise and Lisa grew up, they both look too pretty to consider for heirship to an Uglacy… until you look closer.

Sims2EP9 2017-05-27 22-34-29-88Oh my gosh, how did I miss it before.  Why that is Gage Uglacy’s nose planted on that kid’s face.  And she’s a zombie!!!  Louise even follows in Uncle Gage’s foot steps by rolling romance… fantastic,  you little hussy.  Her lifetime want to have 20 simultaneous lovers… oh she will be re-rolling in college, but the fun until then.  Her secondary aspiration is pleasure… oh boy.  Her personality is 9 neat, 8 outgoing, 6 active, 4 playful, and 8 nice.  I think we have competition for the heir ship after all.

Sims2EP9 2017-05-27 22-34-46-95Lisa, on the other hand, has the makings of a Prettacy heir.  She rolls family, with a lifetime want to marry off 6 kids.  Her secondary aspiration is popularity.  She’s mean… typical prettacy material.  Her personality is 10 neat, 3 outgoing, 10 active, 4 playful, and 2 nice.

Sims2EP9 2017-05-26 11-12-59-41“That’s right mirror, mirror on the wall.  I am the prettiest one by far.”

Lisa is very, very vain.  She loves mirrors.  I constantly have to pull her away from them. How ironic.  Or predictable.

Sims2EP9 2017-05-27 20-26-30-86“Hey sister, get a picture of me.  Look at my goldfish lips.  I’m so hawt.  And you’re not.”

EEe gads, look at all that homework,  only one thing to do.

Sims2EP9 2017-05-27 19-57-37-13“This is so unfair!  Why do I have to do everyone’s homework!”

Because you’re the pretty one, Lisa.  And as the Cinderella spare, that’s your job.

Sims2EP9 2017-02-20 00-22-39-02Peppy died, and unfortunately, I did not even notice.  In fact there was no urn anywhere, and I looked for days.  And I have yet to see his ghost.  Not sure if it all glitched or what.   But Teddy howled and howled… so at least someone missed him.

Sims2EP9 2017-05-28 00-48-01-98In addition, Lulu and Ketchup kept up the pet handicap, and Lulu gave birth outside in the rain to two puppies.  Who she left in the pouring rain.

Sims2EP9 2017-05-28 00-55-16-94While she was all snug and nestled in a nice warm house.  Great puppy parenting there.

Sims2EP9 2017-05-28 00-50-39-36Fortunately, Louise rescued Sugar and Spice and brought them indoors.

Sims2EP9 2017-05-28 00-59-40-85Where Teddy and Ketchup made up for their sucky mom.  Now we have five dogs.  Love the family breed handicap (NEVER doing that one again for one measly point!).

Sims2EP9 2017-05-28 11-50-02-57And finally after years and years of literally gardening and begging that stuck up club to let us in…

Sims2EP9 2017-05-25 20-59-02-24Victory is ours!  The wishing well!

“I wish I may, I wish I might, have lots of friends to use tonight!”

Sims2EP9 2017-05-25 20-59-48-35“Your will is our command.”

“Oh wow.  This is much creepier than I imagined.”

Shaun, being a pleasure sim with a want for 50 first dates, waste no time making good use of the well to nab a first kiss.  Apparently he gets a Geisha girl.

Sims2EP9 2017-05-28 11-59-45-41Which seems to be a trend with this well.

“I see.  International dating.  Okay, then.”

Sims2EP9 2017-05-26 11-38-55-14Meanwhile, it seems fitting to catch the twins up on helping with the family business.  But all they want to do is play red hands.

“Well it’s boring here.”

“Yeah,   No one ever shows up on this lot.  It’s dead.”

Sims2EP9 2017-05-26 11-41-02-28“I know, let’s eat all the profits.”

Wait, hey, I didn’t tell you to do that… grrr.  I am going to turn your free will off.  I mean it!  Back away from the goodies!

Sims2EP9 2017-05-26 11-56-11-81“Debbie, so glad you could make it.”

“Well you forced me to come over here after you forced me to be your friend with the wishing well and…”

“Sssh, sssh, shh.  What does it matter?  Come in and see the carnival.”

“OH cool, can I ride rides?”

“Er, no, they are all broken.”

“Can I play games?”

“Well technically yea, but watch the spiked clowns, a townie lost his hand last week.”

“Erm, can I buy cotton candy?”

“If my sisters haven’t eaten it all.”

Sims2EP9 2017-05-26 12-17-12-41

Yay, our first level 10 business.  It’s a miracle!  Really… it is.

Sims2EP9 2017-05-27 22-39-27-77“Hey Louise, it’s summer.  Let’s go hang out at the pool, steal some more drinks from the bar, and smustle all night long.”

“Sorry Mehrissa.  I can’t do anything anymore.  Someone realized I’m ugly and wants me to catch up on my skilling.”

“Oh bummer man.  Sucks to be you.  Guess I’ll go hang out with your dad.”

Sims2EP9 2017-05-27 22-47-07-20“Gee Mr. Uglacy.  This seems inappropriate.”

Yea, Jihoon, way to watch porn with the neighborhood teenagers.

“ITS a HORROR show.”

Sure, sure…  whatever you say.

Sims2EP9 2017-05-25 23-35-25-60“Johnny, so nice of you to come to dinner.”

“Yea, well I wasn’t sure it was a good idea.  Rumor is you’re going steady with Tank.”

“I’m not that committed.  I actually have two bolts for you too.”

Sims2EP9 2017-05-25 23-50-42-98“Really?  That’s awesome Tiffany.  Because I’ve had the hots for you ever since we met at the carnival and you forced me to buy popcorn.”

“OH noo, no, no.  Not Johnny too!  Why can’t she see me, Buck?  I’m the one she should be with.  Not my brother Tank, and certainly not that pollinator kid!”

Sims2EP9 2017-05-25 23-55-19-59Wendy:  “Oh hi Buck, over here for dinner again.”

Buck:  “Mrs. Uglacy, I can’t look.  Tiffany is… is with that Johnny kid.”

Wendy:  “Er,  okay.  Want to play some pool, Buck?  I got a great trick shot.”

Buck:  “Don’t you understand.  My heart is breaking.”

Wendy:  “I think we have some lemonade for that.  Wait, that’s for heatstroke.  Never mind.  You’re shit out of luck, kid.”

Sims2EP9 2017-05-26 00-05-12-89“Mfff, you’re so fine, Tiffany.”

“Oh Johnny.”  *Insert uncomfortable kissy noises.

Sims2EP9 2017-05-26 00-00-37-66“HOW DARE YOU TIFFANY!”

“Ouch, Buck.  What’s your problem.  Is it because I cheated on Tank?”

“Er… yes.  Exactly.  With his arched nemesis no less.  You refuse to see my, I mean his love for you!”

Sims2EP9 2017-05-27 23-37-47-29“Sister, talk to me!  Oh my boolprop, what has she done to you?”

“Must be heir… zzzz.”

Sims2EP9 2017-05-26 10-47-50-44Meanwhile, down at the Zombie Pothead Shoppe, Shaun does his duty as a spare.

“Must get stars… mffft.”

Sims2EP9 2017-05-26 10-50-15-56“Wait Shaun, I need to breath.  How many more stars do you need till level 10?”

“14.”

“OH wow.  Ok, gimme me a minute.”

Sims2EP9 2017-05-26 10-54-14-19“Good job Kid, keep it up.”

“OH for goodness sake, Gage.”

“What Don, he needed business advice, I gave it to him.”

Sims2EP9 2017-05-27 23-46-37-62“Nose!  It’s so good to see you.”

“Wendy!  I would say you haven’t aged a bit, but er, that would be a lie.”

“Well you haven’t.”

“That’s because I’m a spare baby, no one plays me.”

Sims2EP9 2017-05-28 00-00-16-21“Uncle Nose!  I’ve so much to tell you.  Apparently I’m in the running for heir now.”

“OH Louise, I am so sorry.  That’s a bad break.”

“All I do is skill now!  It totally sucks.”

Sims2EP9 2017-05-28 01-05-22-02OH geesh, not this Phil kid again.  He won’t go away.  He is worse than Marsha Bruening and he has the hots for every Uglacy girl, like he wants in the family or something.  Every chapter has to have a creepy stalker.

Sims2EP9 2017-05-28 11-09-49-55“Hear you might be heir, Louise.  Oh baby, have I told you how hot you are.  Sizzle, sizzle.”

Sims2EP9 2017-05-28 11-12-50-84“Fine.  I’m a romance sim, Phil.  I’ll use you for aspirational fodder.”

“Hey, I’m okay with that.  Use away.”

Sims2EP9 2017-05-28 11-15-30-40“Did I mention this might be painful?”

“Er, is this like a  bad scene from Ghost?  I think I’m caught on your pottery machine.”

Sims2EP9 2017-05-28 11-21-56-20“Phil, I know my sister Louise is a romance sim.   But I’m family, and I want to flirt with you and…”

“Sorry Lisa, but you’re spare material.  I’m looking to be part of this family.  I am ugly after all.”

“Phil, I hate to break the news.  You’re not ugly enough.  We have standards.”

Sims2EP9 2017-05-28 12-18-47-36“That’s it, this chapter is definitely going to take more booze to get through.”

Sims2EP9 2017-05-28 22-42-32-18“We are three wild and crazy guys.’

YAy, an outing of ugly men.  I feel like Louise hit the ugly trifecta.

Sims2EP9 2017-05-28 22-42-46-63We even have a grand prize.

Sims2EP9 2017-05-28 22-50-44-45“Erm, since when is Mr. Big a vampire?”

Great.  First I had rogue zombies, now I have rogue vampires.  Did this game not get the message… THIS IS NOT AN APOCALPYSE!  Gads, I just want a simple sims game.  Is that too much to ask?

Sims2EP9 2017-05-25 23-00-26-19“So I hear your little sister Louise is up for heir.”

“What?  That’s ridiculous.  I am obviously the ugliest Uglacy child.  Plus I’m being groomed.  I have several talent badges and own all the Uglacy businesses.”

Sims2EP9 2017-05-25 23-01-09-67“You’re obviously mistaken, Marion.  I’m the one all the attention is centered on.”

“I heard Louise was out on an outing the other day,  making lots of friends.  What does a potential spare need with friends?”

Sims2EP9 2017-05-28 11-08-39-85“Hmmf, I’ll tell you about spares.  You know you’re a spare when they make you fish for useless crap.”

Sims2EP9 2017-05-25 23-10-31-20“Mr. Bear wants to say a special goodbye to you.”

“Marion get that damn bear away from me.  I’ve told you that before to stay on your medications.  Geesh, who talks through a bear, weirdo.”

Sims2EP9 2017-05-25 23-13-19-37“No, no, no, the voices don’t like it when Mr. Bear goes away…”

Sims2EP9 2017-05-27 21-41-19-58“Tiffany, you’re up early.”

“Off to college mom.  Important for heirs to stay ahead of everyone.”

“Oh, okay, dear.  Well see you in a few years then.”

Sims2EP9 2017-05-28 23-34-16-35“Bleh!”

Don’t tell me Mr. Big Vampire bit you.

“Nah, I drank a boot!”

Sims2EP9 2017-05-29 00-01-57-93“Sis, do you really think you’re going to win this.  Tiffany’s been groomed for this for years.”

“So I’m  a long shot.  I’ve got most of my skills now.  It could happen.”

Sims2EP9 2017-05-29 00-12-00-71“If I have to drink one more glass of eggplant juice…”

NOPE. You’re there!  Top of all your skills!  Time for college!

Sims2EP9 2017-05-30 21-07-30-85And so the Uglacy kids were off to Sim State,  nice riding outfit Tiffany.  Tally ho!

“Hardy ha ha.”

Sims2EP9 2017-05-30 21-59-16-12Immediately we have a crisis.  For this is no ordinary zombie.  No, no.  I downloaded a mod in my game when I was playing the apocalypse that allowed for brain eating zombies, so this is no Don the zombie.  He’s dangerous and could really mess up one of my potential heirs.  I hoped he was just passing through.

Sims2EP9 2017-05-30 22-01-34-19No such luck.  Of course he moves into their dorm.  A brain eating zombie.  I wonder what he plans to major in.

“Braiiins…”

Neurology.  Makes sense.  This time though, I went into my downloads folder and found the mod.  Hopefully the threat was eliminated.

Sims2EP9 2017-05-30 22-43-11-55“Hi everyone, before we sign off, I just want to say, I’m Tiffany, and I should be heir, because obviously I am the ugliest.  Also I am a neat freak (10 pts.), a bit shy (3 pts.), really active (9 pts.), very playful (9 pts.) and mean as shit (3 pts).  If my charming personality didn’t convince you, I’m a fortune sim with a lifetime want to own 5 top ten businesses.   My secondary aspiration is romance.  I want to get to the top, and I might sleep with others to do that.”

Sims2EP9 2017-05-30 22-40-19-64“Wrong.  I’m Shaun, and I should be heir.”

“Er what’s wrong with your eye dude?”

“Exactly… So I am a pleasure sim with a lifetime want for 50 first dates.  I fairly neat (6 pts), a little shy (3 pts) , somewhat active (6 pts), kind of serious (3 playful pts), and super nice (10 pts.).   My secondary aspiration is family.  I’m a nice guy.  Who just wants to play the field first.  And it’s been said I look like Grandpa Don… that should make me heir alone.”

Sims2EP9 2017-05-30 22-47-30-70“I’m Lisa, and I’m too pretty for this legacy, so there’s probably no point in rattling off my statistics, but because I like talking about myself, I’m a family sim with a secondary aspiration of popularity.  I want to marry 6 brats off.  I’m a neat freak (10 pts.), somewhat shy (3 pts.), overly active (10 pts.),  semi-serious (4 pts. playful), and not so nice (2 pts).”

Sims2EP9 2017-05-30 22-42-03-77“I’m Louise, and I grew up in this uni-brow all by myself because that’s how bad I want to win this.  At first, I didn’t appear that unique, until I got older.  I’m becoming more of an Uglacy with every birthday.  I’m neat enough (6 pts.), outgoing (8 pts)., active (6 pts.), somewhat serious (4 pts)., and super nice (8 pts.).  I love to love (romance) and want to be a shameless hussy and have 20 lovers at the same time.  My second aspiration is pleasure.  Plus, I’ve got zombie skin.  I had to play that card.”

Well looks like we are going to have a heir poll.  You got two choices.  Vote here through a comment (I’ll count em up) or at Boolprop.com at my special heir poll at http://www.boolprop.net/viewtopic.php?f=42&t=3354

Let me know who you think should carry on the Uglacy legacy.  Till next time, happy simming!

Chapter 8 Uglacy, Moving Days!

sims2ep9-2017-02-18-23-28-47-90I know, I literally haven’t posted since Christmas… I just finished my degree in college, so it’s time to do some serious catching up on Simming!  MY apologies.  Now let’s get to it.

Springtime arrived.  And we all know what that means for a legacy family… BABIES!  Okay, everything means babies for a legacy family because it’s all about the generations, 10 to be exact, of soul sucking, needy, difficult sims.  Anyway, we are now popping out generation 3, and as if that wasn’t fun enough, Wendy and Jihoon decide to have twins. NO, I did not use cheesecake… *sob*.  Because on top of all of that…

sims2ep9-2017-02-18-22-28-45-83Teddy has twins too!  Bringing our household total to 8!  But wait, there’s more…

sims2ep9-2017-02-18-23-23-08-63We have a whole community of cockroaches breeding as well… that I can’t get rid of because…

sims2ep9-2017-02-18-23-22-50-31We have glitched trash! Which I tried to wall off, which doesn’t work. It’s magical trash, folks.  You can’t delete it, you can’t cheat it (I tried), and the sims will not pick it up, but they know it’s there.  It downs their environment score and keeps them in a constant state of cockroach flu. Good times.  So to truly recap, read the other chapters for more details…because I’m too far in now.  But let’s talk potential heirs.

sims2ep9-2017-02-18-22-34-28-96The firstborn child of Wendy and Jihoon is Tiffany, who definitely lives up to Uglacy standards.  She is the ugliest of the them all.

“Is this picture cute now?  I even added a puppy!”

Er… um… you’re unique sweetie.  Anyway, Tiffany has a great personality too.  She’s a scorpion…I mean Scorpio… She has one nice point, 9 playful, 9 active, 3 outgoing, and 10 neat.  Need I say more.  And so far she is the ugliest… but she’s lacking zombie skin which is so disappointing.

sims2ep9-2017-02-18-22-58-27-81Then there is Shaun who literally grew up while I was paying no attention, but in my defense, there were babies and puppies being born at the same time and I was praying my game didn’t crash and burn.  Anyhow, he is a Pisces, with 10 nice points (No firstborn glitch here at least), 3 playful, 6 active, 3 outgoing, and 6 neat.  Nice and well rounded, he is the total opposite of his psycho sister.  And he grows up in pink.  Not that there is anything wrong with that… it’s just a color.  Like rosemary or lilac, or lavender.  He instantly rolls wants to do homework, ask someone to help him with his homework, and go to school… he’s as exciting as wallpaper.

“I want to go to school and do homework! OH no, school is cancelled for a snow day!!!”

sims2ep9-2017-02-18-23-31-21-01“HAHAHA, school is cancelled suckers!”

Uh, Tiffany, where did those three gnomes in your inventory come from?!  (Seriously, I just noticed it, what the hell, the little neighborhood thief).

“None of your beeswax!  I’m building my gnome army, and I’m going to rule the hood.”

sims2ep9-2017-02-18-23-27-47-60“Okay, I’m tired of posing, I’m putting this kid on the floor now.”

“Jihoon!  Don’t you want to snuggle our little bundles of joy.”

“No, I want to go play on the computer.”

True story, Jihoon is the family sim, and Wendy is the pleasure sim, but that’s a LIE.  Anyway, meet the twins, Louise (the zombie) and Lisa (the non-zombie).  Keeping in the tradition of horror film naming, I named them after…

maxresdefault“Come Play with Us…Danny, forever and ever, and ever…”

Perhaps one of the scariest scenes ever in the Shining was the Grady twins.  I tried to find out what their first names were, but apparently they didn’t have any.  So I based the names off of the two little actresses, Lisa and Louise.   Because Grady 1 and Grady 2 seemed a bit confusing.

sims2ep9-2017-02-18-23-47-21-71“Hey, Shaun, there’s the school bus, they are coming to take us to school after all!”

“WOW, really.  I can’t wait.  I better go get my backpack and pencils, oh and that neat calculator mom got me!”

sims2ep9-2017-02-18-23-47-52-31“Hey, wait, I don’t see a school bus.”

“Sucker.  Your move, loser.”

sims2ep9-2017-02-18-22-50-50-75“I don’t understand.  Why do we have to feed them when they just poop it out?”

GADS Jihoon.  You are the family sim, act like it.  Where’s Louise by the way?”

“Um, she’s fine.   I just gave her some tummy time.”

sims2ep9-2017-02-18-22-55-05-58OH GOOD GRIEF! OK, don’t judge me, if you were looking for one of those perfectly, well ran pretty legacies, well you got the wrong one.  I had Wendy build a servo, but there’s too many sims in the house now. Only one thing to do…

sims2ep9-2017-02-18-23-32-48-81For the first time, I have my legacy family hire a butler.  They are rich, they can afford it, and I’m not going for the no sim service handicap.  However, technically it seems like cheating.

“That’s because it is madam.”

Er, hush you.  This is Vasyl, who apparently doesn’t have an upper lip.

“That is incorrect, madam.  I have a stiff upper lip, as is required for a high bred butler.”

Good Grief!  You’re going to a problem, aren’t you Vasyl?”

“Quite possibly, madam.  Now you can dismiss the other servants as I can do all that they can do.”

I would hope so with how much we have to pay you!

sims2ep9-2017-02-18-23-48-53-74“Oh, you poor child, your parents are atrocious especially that paternal one.”

Yes, finally now that I don’t have to worry that the babies will starve, I can focus on other things with this family.

sims2ep9-2017-02-18-22-44-56-17Such as the tramp co-worker that keeps following Jihoon home from work, Michelle Hussy, I mean Tse.

“Why hello again, Michelle.  This is the third time in a row you’ve followed my husband home from work.”

“Gulp, er yes.  We are coworkers, he’s a college senior professor now.”

“Yes, and while that is hard in itself to believe, I really do want you to make yourself at home.  How about you serve us a meal?”

Yes, Wendy wants to influence.  I’m so proud, and why should the Uglacies cook if they can get unsuspecting townies to do it for them?

sims2ep9-2017-02-18-22-42-21-80Seriously Michelle, you serve them Slim FAST shakes?!

“Well, they are all bordering overweight right now…”

OH, I am just leaving Wendy on free will for this one…

sims2ep9-2017-02-18-22-47-19-24Sure enough, Wendy goes all lecture mode…

“WHAT?  I ask you for a meal, and you whip out nutrition shakes?!  I know you townies never have any cooking points, but I was at least expecting macaroni and cheese.”

“Well you are getting a little… erm… plump.”

sims2ep9-2017-02-18-22-47-43-56“Oh sister, you stop right there, you pop out four kids and see if you look like a twig.  You stalking husband hunting freak.  And snap, you can’t pop out those babies because you are a pretty little townie, and you know what, you will NEVER be an Uglacy.  You don’t have the skills.”

Well technically, Uglacies aren’t really known for skills but…

“SHUT up narrator.”

Yea, but they have other talents.  Like producing mean children, glitching lots, and giving free will a whole new level.

sims2ep9-2017-02-18-23-17-47-69Still, Michelle didn’t get the hint and kept up her creepy stalking ways.  Apparently, she has a stalking outfit too, which is what she wears when she breaks into Jihoon and Wendy’s bedroom at night…   I only wish I made this crap up.

“They need to bathe their dog, that makes stalking so much harder when the house smells.  These people are so inconsiderate.  And the downstairs stinks like glitched trash.”

Well I am so sorry our house doesn’t meet your housekeeping standards of excellence for your stalking expectations.

sims2ep9-2017-02-18-22-49-52-90Speaking of things that go bump in the night, Quinomei’s ghost is up and running, and pissed.

“YOU got rid of my bed!”

NO, no I did not!  Not this time.

sims2ep9-2017-02-18-23-20-19-84I mean even in the afterlife, he’s an idiot.  I even plopped the bed in the graveyard!  It’s his old bed.  He was a stupid sim, but now he’s a stupid, pissed off ghost.

“YOU didn’t change the sheets since I died!”

OH geesh.  Seriously?!

sims2ep9-2017-02-19-00-11-32-46I knew that Tiffany was close to her teen birthday… I just didn’t realize how close.

“OH crud, I’m not going to make the cake. Quick brother, hide my shame.”

“Gee, this narrator lady is really bad at birthdays, isn’t she?”

sims2ep9-2017-02-19-00-12-20-46Tiffany:  “Behold me in all my glory.”  Not that anyone paid attention.

Gage:  “Don, can you find some booze?  How are we supposed to get these party scores up without a bar?!”

Gage Jr:  (Heartfarts) “Wow, my distant cousin is looking fine.  We got enough space in the tree to…”

Shaun:  “Well if I’m not getting cake, I’m outta here.  What a lame birthday party.”

UGH!  Can you guys focus here!  This legacy family has ADHD among other things.

sims2ep9-2017-02-19-00-13-07-15“Ahem, doesn’t anyone want to check me out.  I’m suddenly rolling the want to own  a piano, a bowling alley, and a piece of artwork valued over $500.”

“Gee sis, I could have sworn you rolled romance with that outfit.”

“No way.  Guess what I wished for when I blew out the candles, little brother?  5 Top Businesses!”

“You do know we have 3 and they are only above like 4 or 5 stars… good luck with that one.”

sims2ep9-2017-02-19-00-24-51-89“But hey sis, you got boobs!  Can I touch them?”

“Eww, back off you little cretonne.”

Even my simself looks disturbed by this kid’s gestures.

sims2ep9-2017-02-19-00-28-46-89“Son, it’s fine to want to touch girl’s boobies, but erm, not your sister’s okay?”

“Dad, are we going to have the talk?”

“Do I look like a P.E. teacher to you?  I’m a college professor.  If you want that talk go to Uncle Gage… wait, on the second hand, don’t.”

sims2ep9-2017-02-19-00-16-23-29“So what do you think Grandpa Don?  I’m fortune, and I am going to make this family rich!  Didn’t I grow up great!”

“Sure kid, but I would lose the Meadow Thayer boots.  A wardrobe handicap is not picking the worst outfit you can find.”

Although that would be a fun handicap!

sims2ep9-2017-02-19-00-18-45-27 Meanwhile outside…our spare Nosferus is quickly regretting coming to his niece’s party.

“Cousin, what are you doing?  Have you heard of personal boundaries?”

“Hey, I’m just getting the puppy out of your chest.”

“What?  I don’t have a puppy in my chest.”

OH nooo, Gage Jr. and his…

sims2ep9-2017-02-19-00-19-09-01Banned 4 Life pictures!

Involving an innocent puppy no less.  Does that thought bubble blame Gage for his perversions? I mean I know Gage should have never raised a kid.  So much wrong here.

“HEY, cousin,  get your face outta my crotch!”

sims2ep9-2017-02-19-00-19-42-87“Was that as good for you as it was for me?”

“I swear, if you don’t back off, I’m going to …”

“Bite me, suck all the blood from my body, hypnotize me into being your slave?  Yea, nothing sexual there.”

“This is Sims 2 not the Vampire Diaries.  I’ll likely wash your windows and hiss at you.”

sims2ep9-2017-02-19-00-15-29-63“He looks a bit like Eddie Munster.   What a little weirdo.  He’s a total freak.” (Says the stalker who secretly dresses in skin tight leather).

“Yes, he is.  He’s an Uglacy original.”  *Wipes tear of pride away. 

sims2ep9-2017-02-19-00-22-39-18“It’s okay everyone, I know we didn’t get any cake because Tiffany had to be selfish and grow up too fast, but little Louise here is ready to shake and bake, so gather round… Ok sweetie, daddy’s going to put your face down in the burning candles now.”

Insert annoying birthday horn orchestra.

sims2ep9-2017-02-19-00-24-06-92Everyone in unison:  “OH man, what is that smell coming from the bedroom!  I think I’m going to puke!”

Simself:  “Come on guys, it’s the glitched trash.  Why do you got to ruin the kid’s birthday party with those thought bubbles?  Dang it, how am I supposed to get cute legacy pictures when you people constantly do this to me?”

sims2ep9-2017-02-19-00-29-21-41Next up is Lisa, same haircut, but something tells me these two are not identical twins.

Ones got an aloha dress and the other one is all Mary Poppins.

sims2ep9-2017-02-19-00-27-00-31Cop:  “Ok everyone, Strangetown P.D. here.  We got a report of a toddler birthday party.”

Gage:  “Alright, the stripper’s arrived!”

Cop:  “No sir, I can assure you I am a real policewoman.”

Gage:  “I’m sure you are… all… woman.  Wanna handcuff me?”

Cop: *sigh* “Like I haven’t heard that one before.”

Sim Me:  “Really, you’re breaking up a toddler birthday party?  There’s no booze here even.  I mean this is a totally innocent party.”

Cop:  “The neighbors reported lewd and inappropriate behavior in the front yard.  Something involving puppies…”

sims2ep9-2017-02-19-00-34-03-73“Yay, puppies… I want to love you, and hold you, and kiss you…”

These poor dogs are going to be so traumatized.

sims2ep9-2017-02-19-00-30-49-55“Cough, cough, cough… I’ve got the cockroach flu…”

Great, this night can’t get any better.

sims2ep9-2017-02-18-23-37-22-69“If one more of these sicko sims mess with my pups, I’m biting your simself in the …”

Yea Teddie, okay, I get it.  That was totally not my fault your puppies were molested.

Sims2EP9 2017-02-20 01-37-14-64“Okay everyone, I have an announcement.  After careful consideration, I have decided to be an astronaut.”

Sims2EP9 2017-02-20 01-37-41-86“I can travel to other galaxies, boldly go where no man has gone before, and plus I hear NASA gives great benefits.”

“Wow, son, as a college professor, I am so proud.  I dare say you might be smart!  I didn’t think such a thing was possible with Uglacy genes.”

“Excuse me Jihoon… er I’m his mother and you do realize I have maximum skills and graduated college Suma Cum Laude.  Uglacies are not stupid!  We are not the Stupacies.”

Sims2EP9 2017-02-20 01-35-55-87“I think it’s a great idea dad.  Send the little dweeb up to the space, let some alien impregnate him, get a black sheep, and let me run all the businesses.  Have him pop out ugly brats.  Meanwhile, I’ll make this family rich!”

“Gee honey, I don’t know.  I heard your great great great Aunt Queenie was a black sheep and she lost her mind.”

“She was also married to Goopy Gilsbaro, dad.  That would fry anybody’s mind.”

Sims2EP9 2017-02-20 02-46-12-81“Hey I recognize you from the science club, fellow nerd!”

“Benjamin here!  I’m the kid with the anal retentive general dad who may have buried my mother in the back yard but no one knows.   Everyday is basic training at my house. My issues have issues!”

“Oh I know all about family issues.  I’m an Uglacy.”

“Oh wow, sorry man.  I think we have a lot in common.  Let’s be besties!”

Cute toddler and puppy pics, because… even the Uglacies have adorable moments.  Lisa is pictured with Ketchup  and Louise is pictured with Mustard.  Yea, it was late at night and I was eating a hot dog when the puppies came along.  It sounded good at the time.

Sims2EP9 2017-02-20 02-54-02-27“Come play with us…”

Ketchup and Mustard grow up quickly.  We give Ketchup here to the creepy stalker.  This dog breeding handicap is causing a constant overload of sims, that and too many babies this generation.   I feel like I’m running a puppy/baby mill.

Sims2EP9 2017-02-20 03-02-53-55

“Well I don’t want to brag, but I am the dean of the college, and the apples don’t fall too far from the tree, if you know what I mean.  My IQ is so bright, I have to wear shades.”

“Please Mr. Uglacy… you’re the dean of Fiesta Tech… that’s hardly an achievement.  And I cannot take you seriously with that ridiculous noodle thing on your head, which screams you cannot get promoted without gimmicks.  Now about your son getting into our private school of stuck ups… you are just going to have to do better than this.”

For those of you who can’t see how spectacular Jihoon is doing at schmoozing the headmaster… let me blow it up for you.

Sims2EP9 2017-02-20 03-02-53-55 (2)ARRRGH!!!

Sims2EP9 2017-02-20 03-05-03-65“You should totally consider me for your private school, Mr. Headmaster.  I never miss school, I’m never late for the bus, and my dad rides to work on  a helicopter.  He really is the top of his career.”

“That’s it, I’m leaving!  Since when does a dean have to kiss up to a headmaster.  What kind of parallel universe is this?!”

Sims2EP9 2017-02-20 03-20-32-32

“Oh yes, Mrs. Uglacy, that is a lovely toosh… I mean towel rack…”

Sims2EP9 2017-02-20 03-23-45-00“Look, let’s cut to the chase here.  MY kids are smart.  Shaun is going to be an astronaut, and my daughter is aiming to run all of Bluewater.  They would be a fine addition to your school and you know it.  We’ve fed you, schmoozed you, and kiss your butt enough… now what do you say…”

Sims2EP9 2017-02-20 03-23-57-65“Can you not see the infinite possibilities their little brains hold?!  They could cure cancer, solve world hunger, invent the Sims 5!”

Sims2EP9 2017-02-20 03-24-08-28“Maam… did you just try a business perk on me!”

“Er… maybe…”

Note to self, do not try to motivate headmasters… still we get the kids in by our teeth.

Sims2EP9 2017-04-29 22-52-10-95And the twins grow up…

“Do you want to play?”

Like you didn’t see that joke coming from a mile away.

Sims2EP9 2017-05-06 22-17-21-48“Wow Buck, you’re so much fun!  You’re my best (and only) friend.”

“Agreed Shaun.  Forever and ever…”

Sims2EP9 2017-04-28 22-09-07-64“Son we need to talk about this friendship you are developing with that Uglacy kid.  It was bad enough when those alien low lives moved into the neighborhood and your brother Ripp made friends with that Johnny kid.  But now we have this ugly zombie riff raff.  They are the enemy… can’t you see that, Buck?”

“But dad, Shaun is a nice kid… everyone else in school bullies me.”

Sims2EP9 2017-04-28 22-05-09-78“Don’t be ridiculous, Buck.  No one bullies my sons.  Now about this zombie kid, you need to stay away from him.  He will eat your brain.  If it were Ripp, I wouldn’t care, because that kid has no brains.  But you keep your distance.  That’s an order.”

Sims2EP9 2017-04-28 22-09-45-86“DAD, you can’t order me.  I’m not a soldier.  And Shaun is nice.  He’s not going to eat anyone’s brains!”

“Where is this coming from Buck!  Do you want an article 15, because I will write one on you, young man.  And then it’s Fort Leavenworth for you, where the obstacle courses have obstacle courses!”

Sims2EP9 2017-04-28 22-45-10-56

Meanwhile, Jihoon finally hits the top of his career and fulfills his lifetime want.  Wendy did that way back when with 50 dream dates, which was a fairly easy one.  Now they are both all platinum and can live happily ever after!

Heh, heh, just kidding of course.

Sims2EP9 2017-04-28 22-20-24-36“So what do you think my future holds, Grandpa Don?”

“Erm, I don’t know Louise… misery, skilling, mismanagement…”

“And the Cockroach flu… don’t forget that!”

Sims2EP9 2017-04-28 23-09-38-19Yes, the cockroach flu was doing the Uglacies in, they were always sick and it was just a matter of time till one of them keeled over, probably the heir because that’s my luck.  So I did the only thing I could do, and moved them to a big lot on the other side of town.  With 160,000 simoleans, it was an easy thing to do and gave them plenty of money to build a new home.  Oh hell no they are not lawn living again… we’ve worked too hard.

Sims2EP9 2017-04-29 02-02-25-16And I built them this… building was never my thing.  But to spite the lopsided windows it will still be an improvement over the cockroach villa they were living in.

Sims2EP9 2017-04-29 21-42-53-46Immediately Pollinator Tech 9 shows up to “welcome” Wendy to the neighborhood.

“Yea, keep your probes to yourself, mister.”

Pony’s Simself looks disturbed by him as well.  Can’t fault her there.

Sims2EP9 2017-04-29 21-44-14-54Wendy goes right for hanging loose with Pony, and Pony is oddly amused by her.

Meanwhile the pollinator sulks and contemplates why earthling women reject him.  (Because you’re a creeper, dude).  Next up, Jihoon must make major decisions.

Sims2EP9 2017-04-29 22-09-48-01Bixby Rabbit of course, Algebra sucks.

Sims2EP9 2017-04-29 22-10-41-26

OH yes, we shoot, we score.  And with that 45,000, we need something useful.  I know!

Sims2EP9 2017-04-29 22-56-29-46A POOL!  Cause summertime, summertime, yea, yea, it’s summertime!!!

Sims2EP9 2017-04-29 23-41-22-41We are going to get that damn wishing well if it kills us!

Sims2EP9 2017-05-06 22-01-59-67“OH Armando, you have so many knots in your shoulders.”

“That’s really nice Mrs. Uglacy.  But you’re still not getting into the garden club.”

Actually, they won’t come over and see the garden, something about there not being enough time yet.  I am worried we might have glitched things when we moved.  It’s a shame too because the plants are actually thriving.

Sims2EP9 2017-04-29 23-04-14-77“Gee Tiffany, thanks for feeding us!  When I grow up, I want to be just like you.”

“Oh that’s sweet, Lisa.  You want to be able to cook?”

Sims2EP9 2017-04-29 23-05-06-73“No.  I want to have a big bust like yours.”

Sims2EP9 2017-04-29 23-17-50-63And fear not, our ghosts are here, and Quinomei is as stupid as ever.

“I’m stuck in this bush… and where is my bed?!!!”

“Hey dad, your bed is actually in  spare room.  Do you need some help?”

Sims2EP9 2017-04-29 23-16-43-85“I get no respect.”

Well you’re not really scary as a ghost.

Sims2EP9 2017-04-29 23-17-14-57Pierre, on the other hand, is the stuff of nightmares.

He was scary as a dog… but this is the scariest pet ghost I’ve ever seen.

Sims2EP9 2017-04-29 23-22-28-49“I want another baby.”

Says the family sim who never rolled any wants to do anything with any of his four kids.  Shut up and eat your chips.

Sims2EP9 2017-04-29 23-31-50-07Meanwhile, whose in the new living room educating the kids… well it’s not the family sim whose a teacher… oh nooo.  It’s Wendy, the pleasure sim. Wait that sounds wrong.  I seriously typed that before I realized how disturbing it sounds.

Sims2EP9 2017-04-29 23-52-38-59“Okay sis, I’m going to shoot her dead and your job is to bury her in the garden…”

“Why do I always have to bury the bodies.”

“OH geesh, not this again.  Fine, you shoot her and…”

Townie girl:  “UM, I got to go now, I think I hear my mom calling me for dinner.”

Sims2EP9 2017-05-05 23-44-20-84“We love eggplant juice”  Said no sim child ever…

Still gardening has perks, this is one way to skill them.  Drink, my pretties.  Eggplant juice=random skill points!

Sims2EP9 2017-04-29 23-10-39-21“Cough,cough, cough, oh no… we keep getting the flu back from the townies we already infected.  I’m choking… this is the universal sign for I need the Heimleck…”

ARGH!  This flu is getting on my last nerve.  Now the cockroaches are gone, but all the neighbors are sick and bringing it over.  I can’t play everyone’s house till they are better.

Sims2EP9 2017-04-30 00-00-00-34Whips out chicken noodle soup…

“Mommy, we just ate and I’m not hungry…”

“Shut up and eat the damn soup already.”

“But it’s sparkling and…”

“That’s because it’s magically delicious…NOW eat it.”

Sims2EP9 2017-05-05 21-34-35-09Tiffany decides to look like the fortune sim she is and give herself a more professional appearance… Much better than the Meadow Thayer Look, and she has a whole wardrobe because, well, we are going for that handicap.  Really, I would download clothes for all my sims anyway, so that’s the easiest handicap ever.

Sims2EP9 2017-05-05 21-50-16-52Not that it helped a whole lot.

“Sometime in this century Miss!”

Sims2EP9 2017-05-06 00-14-27-79Wendy tries to help by passing along her business perks but Tiffany always cops an attitude…

“I know what creativity is, mom.  Geesh, I have nine skill points in it already! Can you get to the point already?!”

I don’t blame her tho.  Of all the things in Sims 2,  I think passing the business perks is the most painful interaction because it takes a lifetime just to pass them on… way overdone.  Easier to earn the perks than pass them on.

Sims2EP9 2017-05-05 22-22-18-23“YOU need those awesome flowers for Donna!  Nothing says love like dying tulips!’

Wendy’s face says it all.

Sims2EP9 2017-05-05 23-20-58-71“Space!  The final frontier.  I can’t wait till I can actually meet intelligent life.  But what if they are like that old pollinator dude…ewww.   I wonder if they all wear knee high socks.”

Sims2EP9 2017-05-06 22-19-28-89“Ok Shaun, you need to grow up this tall to ride the rides.”

“Er, thanks sis.  And thanks for coming to my party in your underwear.  My friends think I hired you.”

Sims2EP9 2017-05-06 22-23-03-48Shaun… rolls pleasure.  His Lifetime want is 50 first dates.  You player, you.  Phil and Buck both show up at his party.  I was hoping to get the option to grow Buck up.

Sims2EP9 2017-05-06 22-23-49-02

Hmm, apparently only random townies show up for that option.  And Shaun barely knows Phil.  We passed on that.

Sims2EP9 2017-05-06 22-29-43-91“Hey Shaun, want to play red hands again?”

“Not now Buck.  I’m hanging out with my teenage sister, cause I’m a teenager now.  Sorry little Buck A Roo. Maybe next time.”

Sims2EP9 2017-05-06 22-25-35-05“Wow, what a rip off.  Can you believe this game didn’t even give the option to grow me up?!  I’m his best friend!  I am going to be stuck as General Grunts son forever, living in his house listening to him rant orders at me!  It’s so unfair!  And now Shaun hardly notices me.”

“Well at least you have a family.  I’m just a homeless townie kid, and they had the option to grow me up… but nooo.  Now I just get to wander around town with this bad bowl haircut for the rest of my life.”

Sims2EP9 2017-05-06 23-06-07-04Later that night, who should literally come running over but General Grunt himself… I thought he was coming for Buck.  Or jogging for body points.  Something lame.

Sims2EP9 2017-05-06 23-06-53-06“OH geesh.  FIRE!  FIRE! FIRE!  What do we do?!”  *Squeals like a little girl*  “We’re all going to die!”

“Who are you?  Oh, you’re Buck’s dad, aren’t you?”

Sims2EP9 2017-05-06 23-08-19-65“I”M TOO YOUNG TO DIE.  MY COUNTRY NEEDS ME!!!”

“Calm down, mister, don’t get your panties in a wad, I got this.”

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING.  YOU NEED TO SCREAM AND JUMP AROUND USELESSLY LIKE ME!  WHAT IS THAT CONTRAPTION!  IS IT A TOP SECRET WEAPON?!  OH MY GOD, IT’S SPRAYING CHEMICALS!  I KNEW YOU ZOMBIES WOULD RESORT TO BIOLOGICAL WARFARE.”

“Er, It’s just a fire extinguisher.”

Sims2EP9 2017-05-06 23-12-20-76“Hello, Mr. Uglacy…”

“General Grunt, so nice to meet you.  We just love your son Buck.  We thought Shaun would never actually have friends…”

“Well as a matter of fact, that’s why I’m here.  You need to keep your zombie infested son away from him.   Nothing personal… but you know, your family is a bunch of low life pond scum.”

“What?  Why don’t you talk with Shaun, I’m sure you’ll see the boys are good for one another.”

Sims2EP9 2017-05-06 23-21-28-80“Hey kid, just wanted to warn you know to stay away from Buck.  No more studying together, kapeesh?  He doesn’t need you trying to eat his brains.”

“I don’t eat brains.  Are you judging me because I’m a zombie?”

“Well yea, that and you guys are legacy bottom feeders.  I mean, come on, you’re a genetic cesspool of ugliness. No offense.”

“But that is offensive.”

“NOT if I say no offense.  Do you not understand the rules of engagement?”

“Do you not understand what a jerk you’re being?”

Sims2EP9 2017-05-06 23-20-12-22“Blah, blah, blah… I’ve said all I am going to say on the matter.  My son is not allowed to talk to you, socialize with you, or have any contact with you.  Now begone you zombie parasite.”

“But you’re in my house.”

“Oh.  So I am.  Then I shall be gone.”

Sims2EP9 2017-05-06 23-11-49-58“I can’t believe one of my sons befriended the enemy.  Best friends with a zombie.  Pffft.  What is this neighborhood coming to?  First aliens, now zombies!!!  Well not my boys!  When I get home, they are all going to drop and give me fifty.  I’ll show them what Grunt boot camp is.”

Sims2EP9 2017-05-06 23-55-37-56“Tank, my only hope.  What do you do when you see an alien?”

“PUNCH it, SIR!”

“That’s correct Private Tank.  And what do you do when you see a zombie?”

“PUNCH it, SIR!”

“Correct again!  Carry on, Tank, make daddy proud.”

“YES SIR.”

Sims2EP9 2017-05-07 13-21-35-41Meanwhile downstairs… I may have done a little fancy footwork.  Hey, it’s not the legacy house.  This is not a no cheat zone.

“WOW, I grew up!  As a badly dressed slob no less.”

Sims2EP9 2017-05-07 13-26-31-48“Congrats, brother.  Now lets get you a new outfit, complete with high heels.”

Yea, that won’t put your dad over the edge, Ripp.  Geesh, always the rebel, this kid.

Sims2EP9 2017-05-21 10-27-03-43It’s not surprising when the Grunt boys show up the next day, after all they are our next door neighbors.

Tank:  “NO idea why I am at these losers’ house.  I mean I get why my two worthless brothers are here.”

Sims2EP9 2017-05-21 10-42-39-94But then Tiffany shows up… and Tank suddenly changes his tune.

“OH hubba hubba baby!  You are one fine sim!”

Both Tank and Buck have two bolts for her.  Ripp has one.  Oh boy.  Let the fun begin.

Sims2EP9 2017-05-21 10-44-06-51“Call me Baby, and I don’t mean maybe.”

Sims2EP9 2017-05-21 10-48-17-08“Er, sure, but you’re here right now.  Want to go grab a bite?”

“DO I?!!!  I mean, yeah, sure, I’m not doing anything else right now.  But I have to be back by 9 to do push ups with the old man.”

Sims2EP9 2017-05-21 10-59-32-49First interaction out of the gate… before I could even stop her.

“NOOOOGIES!”

Sims2EP9 2017-05-21 10-59-51-17“YOU need to cool it.  You know how long it takes me to get this camouflage just right?!”

“Oh relax.  Let’s go have some chili at Don’s.”

Sims2EP9 2017-05-21 11-02-14-73And who should be there, complaining about the service of course.  No other then the General.

“Well I hated to dock you 3 stars, but dirty plates are dirty plates.  In the army, that would have never been acceptable at the mess hall.  I should be able to see my face gleaming back at me even after I eat.”

Sims2EP9 2017-05-21 11-02-48-88“That girl looks oddly familiar.  Of course Tank is out on a date, he’s a ladies’ man and a chip off the old block if I say so myself.   Not like Ripp and Buck who couldn’t get a date if their pathetic lives depended on it.”

Fortunately, he didn’t seem to recognize an Uglacy. And I was busily trying to figure out what the hell is in Tank’s thought bubble for dinner. Is that steak?!  No idea.

Sims2EP9 2017-05-21 11-05-07-74“Let’s toast to my future success, 5 great businesses yet to come, heir to the Uglacy throne, and amazing entrepreneur that I am.”

“Let’s not forget humble…”

“Pfft, Humble is for losers who have to suck it up.”

“WOW.  I really am liking you.”

Sims2EP9 2017-05-21 19-59-16-29After a dream date, Tiffany crashes for the night, only to have Buck eerily stand over her bed  in his swimsuit.  He appears to be unhappy that she chose his boorish brother over him and decides to stalk her.

“I’m the one she should love.  How can she not see that?”

OH this is going all soap opera now.  Join us next time to find out…

Is Tiffany really the heir?  Will the Uglacies manage to get 5 top 10 businesses?  Will they ever get a wishing well?    Will General Grunt find out his precious Tank is dating an Uglacy?!  And who will win Tiffany’s love, Tank, Buck, Ripp?  Or someone else? This and more… but until next time, happy simming!

Chapter 7, Uglacy Christmas Special

sims2ep9-2016-12-16-19-14-39-46When we last left the Uglacy family, Wendy had just given birth to Shaun.  Welcome back to the Uglacy family, the family striving to get as ugly as possible by generation 10.  We are playing by the legacy rules by Pinstar.  If you haven’t read the other chapters, you might want to, or just jump right into this Christmas Special if you’re in the holiday spirit.

sims2ep9-2016-12-16-19-24-24-75Tiffany, the firstborn, had finally hit childhood, and reminds me a great deal of her great,great grandmother Samara.  She has one nice point.  Oh the Uglacies I know and love.

sims2ep9-2016-12-17-23-36-45-37“OW geesh, Tiffany, my eye!”

sims2ep9-2016-12-17-23-37-21-79“Oops, sorry Grandpa Don. I didn’t mean to…heh, heh, heh.”

sims2ep9-2016-12-17-23-39-11-94“Why that little…”

Now, now Don… let’s be honest.  Tiffany is your favorite grandchild yet.

sims2ep9-2016-12-17-23-44-07-72He spends hours watching her show off.  At first I thought she was glitching or something, and then I remembered… CARTWHEELS!

“Yay, am I not fantastic grandpa!”

“That was the most amazing cartwheel yet.  Do it again!  Picture taker take more pictures!”

Yeah, I think I’ll pass.  *Yawn*

sims2ep9-2016-12-16-19-50-43-99Meanwhile, down at the Uglacy Christmas Tree Lot, the decorations and trees are selling like hot cakes and the business is up to a level 8.  Manning the stocking is no other than simself Lil White Comet, who write A Sparrow Legacy over at Boolprop.com, when she isn’t stocking of course.

sims2ep9-2016-12-16-19-52-46-65It’s a happening, popular lot, Don even makes appearances.

“Er, Samara wants a black Christmas tree, Wendy.”

“Yea, that’s not really in demand Grandpa Don.  Sorry.  How about a creepy Christmas gnome?”

sims2ep9-2016-12-16-20-14-05-57To add fun to the lot, the Uglacies had a small ice skating rink built…

“UGH!  Jihoon, what the heck, I have 10 body points!  You have like two!”

“I have 3, I’ll have you know.”

sims2ep9-2016-12-17-22-43-10-59Obligatory boring baby picture of Shaun.  He pees, he poops, he cries, he sleeps.  You know the drill.

sims2ep9-2016-12-17-23-10-16-06“Hey little girl… I’ve noticed your intense interest in painting, and I’ve just walked in your house and brought you a gift…”

Yeah, that’s not creepy at all, EA.

sims2ep9-2016-12-17-23-54-37-45Oh but how 3 days pass so quickly, and it is time for Shaun’s birthday.  This time at night, so Nose could attend his nephew’s toddlerfication.  All was going according to plan, and then…

sims2ep9-2016-12-17-23-55-39-55Remember the banned 4 Life pictures we use to share on the exchange… er, well…this one could qualify.  What the hell is Cleo doing to Gage Jr?!

sims2ep9-2016-12-17-23-55-20-00“I don’t understand why I have to invite these freaks to my kid’s birthday party?!”

“Because we are related, dear.  I’m sure that picture is perfectly innocent.”

Yeah, right.  *cough, cough*

sims2ep9-2016-12-17-23-56-31-12And Shaun is apparently bringing in the New Years.  Cool it kid, we haven’t had Christmas yet.

sims2ep9-2016-12-18-00-06-29-44I don’t know if he’s ugly enough, but he certainly impressed me with his wardrobe selection.  He looks a lot like Don.  What is this generation?  Throw back Tuesday?

sims2ep9-2016-12-18-00-01-07-19“Well there was that little incident at school, Grandma Samara.  I mean how was I supposed to know that Marsha Bruening was too clumsy to hang on to the top of the monkey bars while I stomped on her hands.”

sims2ep9-2016-12-18-00-05-13-89“Oh my little prodigy. You bring a tear to grandma’s eye.  I have so much to teach you.”

sims2ep9-2016-12-18-00-17-11-78“Can I open a present yet?”

No.

“Can I open one now?”

NO.

“How about now?!”

Grrrr.

sims2ep9-2016-12-18-00-19-16-03“Jihoon!  Can you move your curtain clad butt out of the way?  I’ve got fifty bucks riding on this game!”

“Hey sis, that looks like more than fifty bucks in that thought bubble.”

“SHUT up Zip.  It’s in ones… okay?!”

“Yea right, and I’m drinking juice…”

sims2ep9-2016-12-18-11-43-40-39The next morning…

“OH my, I must have ate too much cake.”

Wendy gets so surprised by her baby bump, she actually leaves her skill bubble behind.  Now that baby number three is on the way, that means…

sims2ep9-2016-12-18-12-35-45-71“Okay boy, you’re getting older.  So you and Teddy girl need to start on the next generation.  We’ve got a pet lineage to keep up here.  Go try for puppies…”

sims2ep9-2016-12-18-12-37-05-71“OH my my, dogs doing the dirty… yes, yes… Let me take some pictures with my cell phone.  Better yet, I’ll video it and upload it to Facebook.”

“Creepy townies.”

I agree, Wendy, I agree…the weirdo stood there watching and clapping the whole time.  0___0

sims2ep9-2016-12-18-11-37-21-71“Nobody loves me.  They are all too busy skilling and badging, I’ve been in my crib forever.”

sims2ep9-2016-12-18-11-38-42-42“Now, now, Shaun.  That’s not true, grandma spoils the heck out of you.  Whose your favorite person ever?”

“You, gramma!”

“Now grandma is going to get you a smart bottle just as soon as I…”

sims2ep9-2016-12-18-11-46-16-65“die.”

OH great Grimmy,  scar that toddler forever!  Way to drop a little baby’s aspiration points.  Could you time it any better?!

“Hey, I’m just doing my job here.  Sorry kid.”

sims2ep9-2016-12-18-11-47-28-06“Sorry to inform you Angel Uglacy, but your babysitting gig is over, permanently.  On the bright side, you get the platinum package with all the free Pina Coladas you can drink.”

“Waaah, grandma.”

Rates as worse, cruelest death of my sims ever.  I mean poor Shaun.

sims2ep9-2016-12-18-11-48-55-37“Grandma?”

And so Angel Uglacy finally passed away at 82 years old.  She lived a full life, achieved her lifetime want to be an Education Minister, but it sucks when you lose the founder.

sims2ep9-2016-12-18-11-55-43-71She was buried alongside Quinomei under the Apple Legacy tree where soon these ghosts reeking havoc on the family and glitching up my lot in no time.

sims2ep9-2016-12-18-12-08-36-06The grief for this family was terrible, mainly because Angel was an excellent mom and grandmother and everyone actually liked her.  Shaun probably took it the hardest, likely cause she died right in front of him.

sims2ep9-2016-12-18-12-09-13-49“I’m not growing up well, am I?”

Er, maybe not.  This poor kid’s aspirations were tanking like the Titanic.

sims2ep9-2016-12-18-11-53-56-89“Waaah, she was the best mother in law ever!  This is so unfair, right before Christmas.”

Jihoon had an especially close relationship with Angel… that bordered disturbing… like how he always wanted to massage his mother in laws back.

“Well she worked so hard.  What’s wrong with that?”

sims2ep9-2016-12-18-11-54-30-03And Peppy is not so peppy.

He howls, and howls, and howls.  Look at those sad eyes.  I can’t even make a joke with that.  It’s all so pathetic right now.

sims2ep9-2016-12-18-12-52-13-97There was only one thing to do.  That’s right, you know what those cookies mean.

sims2ep9-2016-12-19-23-38-28-73Meanwhile, over at Don’s…

“I don’t know about this party, Gage.  I mean I can’t even stand to be in the same room as her.”

“Hey, we’re having it at my house.  All you have to do is make the chili.  It’ll be better at my pad, much as this house has the whole haunted house theme going with those ugly tapestries.  Simselves prefer bubble blowers, bars, and hot tubs.  I have just the place.”

sims2ep9-2016-12-19-23-36-29-88“Listen, it will be a good time.  If anyone knows how to have a good time, it’s me.  Just bring the chili mix and we are going to have an Uglacy roof raiser.”

“I guess.  But don’t expect me to forgive her, Gage.  It’s not happening.”

sims2ep9-2016-12-19-23-37-47-14“Of course not, Don. Just a party.  Lots of chili and mingling.  No hidden agendas here.  Not to mention the simself ladies…”

“Alright Gage, fine. I’ll be there.”

sims2ep9-2016-12-23-12-37-09-05“So he’s coming.”

“Gage!  Seriously!  Do you mind?!”

“No, I don’t mind.  Oh?  Did you want me to leave?”

“It’s times like this I wonder why I have not killed you yet.”

sims2ep9-2016-12-23-18-44-22-71“It’s time to get the party started ladies!”

Oh no.  Why do I have a feeling I am going to regret this in the morning.

sims2ep9-2016-12-23-15-50-17-69“Great, I don’t know why I let him talk me into this.  I always let my soft spot for him rule my common sense.  All this is about is him wooing the ladies, and he’s going to try to force me to accept Candi’s apology.  Well it’s not happening. No way, no how.”

sims2ep9-2016-12-23-14-12-13-81“Nemo!  Nemo is that you in there?”

“That’s right Candi, I’m back writing too.  I just updated my apocalypse, Far Away From Eden, another Apocalegacy after a six year hiatus.”

“OH my gosh, another rebel!”

sims2ep9-2016-12-23-14-09-29-17“Yeah, well I was the king of subplots in my day…”

“I’ll say.  Your subplots had subplots.  I can’t believe anyone has that much imagination.”

“But like you, I missed the Sims 2 and my legacy family.  So I thought what the heck.  I just posted a new chapter at Boolprop.net.”

“Well welcome back!  Come on in and join the party.”

sims2ep9-2016-12-23-14-25-04-70“Okay Candi, this isn’t some kind of Gage Orgy, is it?”

“Don’t be silly Rflong.  That won’t happen.  But er, stay away from his hot tub, just to be on the safe side.”

Rflong-writes A Simple Legacy.

sims2ep9-2016-12-23-14-25-33-48Not everyone is afraid of Gage, however…

“Michelle, baby, how are you?”

“Oh Gage… teehee, I love your hugs.”

Yea, hugs, that how it all starts Michelle, I’m just warning you.

Michelle Young-Alphabetic Apocalypse

sims2ep9-2016-12-23-18-59-56-44“Hey darling, where have you been?”

“I’m on hiatus, Gage, but don’t you worry.  I’ll be checking back soon, and when I do and I see what Candi has done, downloading me back into a game with you, she’s toast.  Literally.”

“Rawrrr, I love it when you talk murder.  Want to set on Santa’s lap?  I might have a special present for you, little girl.  This Santa likes his ladies naughty.”

“Oh gross!  You haven’t changed one bit Gage!”

Cowforbrains-  countless stories.  Usually dealing with killing sims, lots of sims.  That’s one way to end a legacy.

sims2ep9-2016-12-23-14-19-11-12And taking out our trash for us is Pony.  Thanks Pony.

“Well your house is a mess.”

Yeah, three bachelors, all romance, tell me about it.

Pony- New Pokemon Legacy

 

sims2ep9-2016-12-23-16-00-53-82“Oh my goodness, I’m trapped between two fine looking men!”

I think Nichola may have had a little too much ‘Christmas Punch’.

Nicholaplaythesims-member of Boolprop.  I didn’t find a current legacy, if you have one Nichola, message me. 

sims2ep9-2016-12-23-18-42-20-71“Hey Blueberry, jump in!  You’re ten steps behind!”

“Yea, you guys are freaking me out.  Seriously, you call that dancing?”

Blueberry Pie-Currently doing the Apocalypse Challenge in video but has written several stories at Boolprop.  But poor guy can’t dance the smustle to save his life.

sims2ep9-2016-12-23-18-47-31-53“Look Don, I got it!”

“Er yeah, Blueberry.  Those are some moves alright.”

“Yahoo, I want to be cowboy!”

sims2ep9-2016-12-23-19-00-59-37“I can’t smustle…”

sims2ep9-2016-12-23-18-56-11-32“So I’ll bang a pan!”

Lil White Comet again… employee, simself, pan musician.  Writes A Sparrow Legacy when not banging pans.

sims2ep9-2016-12-23-18-53-59-77The party was going great… everyone was having fun.  But then someone had to pull out the karoke machine.

sims2ep9-2016-12-23-14-31-45-32“Alright, time to do my version of Lady GaGa!  Can’t read my, Can’t read my, No he can’t read my poker face…”

Keika immediately hogs the karoke machine.  It was not pretty folks.

Keika- White Legacy

sims2ep9-2016-12-23-16-01-55-95
On top of singing simselves, all the Uglacies had arrived, and let’s just say, I was not feeling the love.

“Traitor, hissss.”

“Oh can it Zip.”

sims2ep9-2016-12-23-16-29-28-82I decided there was only one thing to do.  I had to beg Don’s forgiveness.

“Listen Don, I don’t know how many times I can tell you this, but I am really, really sorry I didn’t play you guys for years.  I missed you.  The sims 2 beat the sims 3 hands down in my heart, and honestly, I think a lot of fans felt that way.  Please forgive me.”

sims2ep9-2016-12-23-16-24-11-41“And I don’t know how many times I have to tell you, I AM NOT ever forgiving you!  As far as I’m concerned, you’re dead to me!  Gone!  Kapeesh?!”

sims2ep9-2016-12-23-16-20-19-22“DAD that is a bit harsh, even for an Uglacy!  She created it, she brought you and mom together against legacy norms I might add.  She played you when zombies weren’t cool!  Pre-Walking Dead days!”

sims2ep9-2016-12-23-16-22-08-96“And then she left us!  In a sim bin for years!  Everyone just deserted us like yesterday’s news!  Are you forgetting that Gage.  I’m done talking about this.  I’m not forgiving her and that’s that!”

sims2ep9-2016-12-23-16-13-50-61“Hey, hey don’t cry…”

“It’s my party and I’ll cry if I want to…”

Keika:  “HEY everyone, Candi wants to hear It’s my Party and I’ll cry if I want To!  1…2…3”

“Just leave me alone, Gage, you just want to look down my dress anyway.”

“Er, well maybe a little, but you know I have a soft spot for simselves…sims2ep9-2016-12-23-16-19-01-65And what happened then, well in Strangetown they say

that the Gagemeister’s small heart grew three sizes that day.

And then the true meaning of Christmas came through,

and the Gage found the strength of two Gages plus two.

                                                            (Dr. Zuess, The Grinch)

sims2ep9-2016-12-23-16-34-32-98And now that his heart didn’t feel quite so tight,

he logged onto his computer that night.

He whizzed through the forums and found boolprop true

and did what he knew that he had to do.

sims2ep9-2016-12-23-16-37-36-20Gage spawned the sim modder

and with just a click

He pulled off the old relationship trick.

sims2ep9-2016-12-23-16-41-04-80“Wow, I suddenly feel forgiving again.”

“Gee Zip, I don’t hate you anymore.”

“Yea, that’s weird. What were we fighting about?”

sims2ep9-2016-12-23-16-48-17-37“Don, this is for you.  It’s a special gift from me.  Something in your want panel.”

“A baby!”

“NO Don.  Geesh, you family sims.  Samara would kill me.  It’s a bowling alley.”

“Er, how did you fit it in that box?’

“Don’t ask.”

sims2ep9-2016-12-23-16-50-58-18“Don, I’m so glad we’re friends again.”

“Yea, it was weird, I hated you one minute and the next we were besties again.’

“Relax Samara, it’s just a friendship hug. Geesh your wife scares me.”

“She scares me too.”

sims2ep9-2016-12-23-16-46-11-39“Here Samara.  This is for you.  I saw it on the internet and thought it would be perfect for you.”

“Birth control?”

“Er no… they don’t have that for the Sims 2 that I’m aware of.”

sims2ep9-2016-12-23-16-18-06-64“I love it.”

Of course you do Morticia.

sims2ep9-2016-12-23-16-43-39-76“And this is for you Zip.”

“But I was so mean to you.”

“It’s okay. You were just watching out for your dad.  It’s a house, for you and Cleo so you can finally have your own place.”

“A house?  In  a box?”

“Okay, okay, let’s say it’s a deed to a house.  It’s actually an old newspaper, but I’m going to get you guys a house.”

sims2ep9-2016-12-23-19-03-15-71“Last but not least, this is for you Donna.”

“You don’t have anything I want.  My life was pretty much destroyed in your last apocalypse attempt.  My fiancee had become a brain eating zombie.”

“Yea, about that.  This box contains a bone phone.  It all you need to bring your true love back.”

sims2ep9-2016-12-23-19-31-34-76“Hello Grimmy!  No, no, I’m paying full price!  I need Fricorith Tricou back!”

sims2ep9-2016-12-23-19-34-41-56“Fric!”
“Donna?”

sims2ep9-2016-12-23-19-36-28-83“Yeah, I kind of need him to not be a teenager…”

“I’m on it Donna.  Woah, nothing I can do about the bad choice of clothing tho.”

sims2ep9-2016-12-23-19-42-31-03“Thank you, thank you.  I’ve been so depressed!”

“I know Donna, now run along and live happily ever after at that House of Leaves.”

sims2ep9-2016-12-23-19-29-22-34“I heard there was one of those Uglacies parties here.  I will put an end to this right now!  Those zombies don’t actually eat brains do they?”

Possibly, the chili is still questionable.  I’m just saying.

sims2ep9-2016-12-23-13-34-48-29“Ladies and Gentlemen, Goopy Elvis is in the House.”

Oh no, too late, that cop wasn’t fast enough.

sims2ep9-2016-12-23-13-34-12-35***Sang to I’m Dreaming of a White Christmas, which Elvis did sing…***  Insert sexy, southern drawl…

I’m dreaming of a Sims Christmas, like we all played in the Sims 2…

sims2ep9-2016-12-17-23-25-51-72With all the decorations…

sims2ep9-2016-12-17-22-16-14-28And Recreation…

sims2ep9-2016-12-18-12-46-39-33Too bad the kids still had to go to school.

“Yeah, what’s up with that.  I have to go to school on Christmas?  What a rip off!”

sims2ep9-2016-12-18-18-15-45-93“How do you think I feel little girl?!  I have to work on Christmas day and drive a bunch of ungrateful brats to school.  Now get your *%@#&@  in the bus already!”

sims2ep9-2016-12-23-13-35-21-92I’m dreaming of a Sims Christmas.  Just like the ones in the Sims 2…

sims2ep9-2016-12-03-12-11-38-87With the tree tops burning

sims2ep9-2016-12-17-22-37-23-81While Sims keep learning,  …not to pet the electrical deer.

sims2ep9-2016-12-17-22-36-53-19“Daddy?!”

“It’s fine sweetie.  Daddy’s fine, zrrr, errrp, eeee, nothing to see here.”

sims2ep9-2016-12-23-13-36-02-29I’m dreaming of a Sims Christmas, complete with the Seasons pack…

sims2ep9-2016-12-18-20-01-01-60With the evil snowman, his friend the penguin, whose conversations never lack…

“I’m telling you Barney, there’s something not right about that Uglacy chili.”

sims2ep9-2016-12-23-13-36-29-15I’m dreaming of a Sims 2 Christmas

sims2ep9-2016-12-18-19-37-59-65Where Santa shows up for cookies

“Santa is that really you?!”

“Uh oh.  This is the Uglacy house isn’t it?  *sigh*”

sims2ep9-2016-12-18-19-39-12-75“Sure, you don’t have to be my BFF.  BUT a lot of things could happen while you’re out delivering presents.  I hear there are all kinds of falling satellites out there.”

Where he pees and pees, and pees and pees…

sims2ep9-2016-12-18-19-45-18-27And does his creepy laughing inbetween.

“HO HO HOOO”

sims2ep9-2016-12-18-19-51-19-92“Santa, you’ve been in here for two hours.  I need to potty.”

“Get lost little girl.  It’s a long trip for an old man like me.  Gotta go, gotta go, gotta go right now!”

sims2ep9-2016-12-23-18-32-12-27“I’m dreaming of a Sims 2 Christmas, complete with all the simselves raising hell!

With their heart farting, and fire starting, and screwing up their stories oh so well!”

“Sing it brother!”

sims2ep9-2016-12-23-18-33-22-92“Upload yourselves, ladies.  You know you want to.”

sims2ep9-2016-12-23-18-25-06-75I’m dreaming of a Sims 2 Christmas with every legacy I write.

May your days be Merry and Bright…

And may all your Christmases be white.

sims2ep9-2016-12-18-00-28-14-07Merry Christmas from the Uglacies!

sims2ep9-2016-12-23-13-44-06-73“Elvis has left the house.  Thank you, thank you very much.”

 

 

Chapter 6, The Ugly Gene is Back!

sims2ep9-2016-12-03-19-13-00-68Welcome back to the legacy family striving to get ugly in 10 generations!  Sure, we have a few other goals as well, such as surviving glitches, taking over the Blue Water District, meeting the well dressed handicap, keeping our noble composure handicap, allowing our ghosts to roam free, keeping our legacy tree alive, and storytelling, both the handicap and for real life too!  This family will be anything but bored.  So lets recap a little.

sims2ep9-2016-12-02-22-41-48-90When we last left the Uglacies, they had welcomed the third generation, Tiffany to the family.  Tiffany is named for Chucky’s Bride.  Sadly, Tiffany did not inherit the cool zombie skin, but she is definitely an Uglacy.  The personalities have started.  She has 10 neat, 3 outgoing, 9 active, 9 playful, and 1 nice.  Yes… one nice point.

Image result for grinch

They’re baaackkk…

sims2ep9-2016-12-02-23-01-38-35Meanwhile, Angel and Quinomei sit around playing chess and generally being useless, like you would expect retired education ministers to do.

sims2ep9-2016-12-02-23-26-51-05Angel does like being a grandmother tho, it’s that family sim thing.  She never leaves poor Tiffany alone.  She stands over her crib when she sleeps.  Creepy.

sims2ep9-2016-12-02-23-43-40-42Quinomei tried to pass on his business perks to Wendy.

“So it’s all about money, you have to make them pay for items.  The razzle dazzle works best…but it will take me a month of non-stop lecturing to teach it.”

I hate trying to pass business perks, it takes like a year of yackity yack.  Like my sims, I don’t have the attention span, so this did not happen.  But  I tried… for 10 seconds.

sims2ep9-2016-12-03-11-39-19-84And Jihoon, well I’m not sure he’s feeling the Christmas spirit or his new family.  In his defense, I did dress him in plaid.

sims2ep9-2016-12-03-13-27-18-96But he has some unhealthy feeling towards his mother in law.

“I don’t know what she sees in Quinton.  He’s such a loser.  She deserved better.  I want to play with her, talk to her… hang out. Give her a backrub.”

Yeah, that’s not creepy at all.

sims2ep9-2016-12-03-13-27-47-15“Hey Mrs. Uglacy, let me give you a hug…”

freewill… 0___O

“Hey Jihoon, I’m your father in law… standing right here… hello, hello?”

sims2ep9-2016-12-03-13-31-43-37“Here, let me rub those knots out.”

“Wow, Baboon, that’s so thoughtful.”

“Jihoon, my name is Jihoon.”

Those lips say otherwise.

sims2ep9-2016-12-03-12-11-38-87In other news, we finished the death memorial pictures…

Oh the tree?  We decided to combine a fireplace with a tree this year, saves room.  It’s very toasty.

sims2ep9-2016-12-03-18-39-31-06So Jihoon invests in a business, Christmas trees!  And stuff.  The Uglacy Christmas Lot is officially open and operational.  Wreaths, light up reindeers, gingerbread houses, and a wide variety of useless Christmas crap that this sims will carry around in their inventory forever to use one time a year.  Sound familiar?  But I love Christmas Crap!  So this should be fun.

sims2ep9-2016-12-03-13-59-44-25Our first customer, Gage Uglacy!  Nice matching stalking raincoats boys.  Plan to do a little flashing later?

“Hello Gage, such an honor. What are you looking for?”

“A sim self in a hot Santa outfit…”

“Er, we don’t exactly carry those.  What about a nutcracker?”

“You’re kidding me, right, kid?”

sims2ep9-2016-12-03-14-01-20-05Of course my sim self makes an appearance and admires Wendy.  Who wouldn’t.  She’s the all star with skill points, several badges, and appears to actually be an intelligent sim.  Unfortunately if history repeats itself,  inbreeding with ugly townies is probably going to change this story line fairly fast.  And then my family will be lucky to sell peanuts to an elephant.

sims2ep9-2016-12-03-18-34-59-06

Are you kidding me?  Yea, let’s throw away a business so Quinten can be a Parking Lot Attendant.  What a dream job!  And it’s not an entry job? So what is?  Dog poop picker upper?

sims2ep9-2016-12-03-12-08-23-05Like father, like daughter.  Yea, no one bring the baby in, it’s not like it’s winter or anything.

sims2ep9-2016-12-03-19-13-00-68Fortunately, Tiffany survives, and we miss the whole birthday party thing… because I didn’t notice. Anyway, she reminds me of someone… I can’t quite put my finger on it.  Let me think…  Looks through old albums…

SAMARA!!!  Muhahaha… oh the gene really is back.  Happy times!

sims2ep9-2016-12-03-19-20-27-26Third Christmas tree and counting…

sims2ep9-2016-12-03-21-44-26-21We still have all the lovely dogs… “FOLLY!  How many times do I have to tell you not to destroy the flowers.  Geesh, fill up that bar already!  You’re 100 years old.”

sims2ep9-2016-12-03-21-45-54-70And Angel teaches Tiffany how to walk, talk, potty, and sing a nursery rhyme her first day as a toddler… GO Angel, you rule!  Smart milk might have helped a little…

sims2ep9-2016-12-03-22-06-03-38“Jihoon, I think we should expand our family… maybe we could have an ugly zombie baby.  I just wish that sim self, Nichola, would stop staring at us in the car.”

“Well if it’s a show she wants…”

sims2ep9-2016-12-03-22-09-21-35Nothing makes a sim self run off your lot faster than baby making.

sims2ep9-2016-12-03-22-15-53-44“Oh these flowers are trash!”

Actually baby making was dream date 50, completing Wendy’s lifetime want.  It’s all platinum plumbobs from here.

sims2ep9-2016-12-03-22-10-24-35Grrr.  You are a disgrace to Hoover.

sims2ep9-2016-12-03-22-28-56-61“I want to sing another evil nursery rhyme, Grandma…”

“Silly Tiffany… there’s no such thing as evil nursery rhymes…  Lets sing 3 blind mice again.  You seem to like the part where they get their tails cut off by the farmer’s wife.”

sims2ep9-2016-12-03-22-35-50-66“Folly, you’re old as the hills now.  I just want to let you know… it’s okay to go towards the light. No really, it is.  Anytime… anytime at all.”

sims2ep9-2016-12-03-22-48-37-58“Oh no, I think I’m pregnant…”

And possibly impaled through the door.  Yea, pregnancy may be the least of your problems.

sims2ep9-2016-12-03-22-52-04-53“AAArrrgh…”

That’s what you get Circe, for stealing our invisible paper and your bad choice of a cow neck sweater.

sims2ep9-2016-12-09-12-13-51-33“I need to lecture you, Wendy, you are dirtying up all the toilets in the house and we can’t have that.  What are you doing…”

“I’m sizing up your casket, dad.  You don’t lecture pregnant women without dire consequences.”

sims2ep9-2016-12-09-12-16-10-49Another real example of my really bad sim playing…after wondering why the option to never breed Peppy and Buffy came up, I finally realized the problem.

“Yes, random townie woman, how would you like to adopt our dog, Buffy.  You see, someone adopted her to breed with our Uglacy lineage, but didn’t realize she was an elder… yea, not gonna work.  So would you be kind enough to give her a home?  She should die any day now.”

sims2ep9-2016-12-09-12-20-02-32Speaking of dying, Folly’s time had finally come… but prepare for some of the worse Grim Reaper pics ever.  Turn away… turn away.

sims2ep9-2016-12-09-12-20-40-91“Er, I’m here to collect your dog… are you really going to jump in the bathtub right this minute. Maybe you want a minute to say your final goodbyes?”

“No, I’m good.”

sims2ep9-2016-12-09-12-21-13-20“How about a picture… for Facebook?  Good dog, Folly, be with you a minute.  Got to snap a picture of this.  No one is going to believe this family.”

sims2ep9-2016-12-09-12-21-54-96“You sure are hanging around a long time, Mr. Reaper.  Are you glitched?”

sims2ep9-2016-12-09-12-23-56-36Dear Lord, is he beating her with a stick in the bathtub?!  What is this? Shades of Gray, Reaper Style?!

sims2ep9-2016-12-09-12-25-18-06What a disturbing and somewhat satisfied expression.  You do realize your dog just died?

sims2ep9-2016-12-10-21-51-40-12New dog!!!  Angel goes to the pet store and gets a younger version of Buffy, who we name Teddie.  After my dog.  Except my dog is actually a boy… so it’s not exactly the same.  Minus a few parts.

She is a hyperactive, playful, finicky genius… which is exactly like my Teddy.  *Sob*.

sims2ep9-2016-12-10-21-55-33-54Meanwhile, Jihoon gets promoted almost daily and is up to Guest Lecturer.

“Woohoo, whose the man?!  I put the teach in teaching!”

sims2ep9-2016-12-10-22-13-32-28“Er, what’s this?  Another dog?  Did we really need one?”

Yes… yes we did… because this handicap is SOOOOO much fun.

sims2ep9-2016-12-10-22-03-30-75While in the bathroom… (Where all good sims go to die)

“OH for the love of boolprop, I can’t get away, I’m trapped!”

sims2ep9-2016-12-10-22-04-01-67“There, there Quinton Uglacy.  You are actually about to be free, you’ve been trapped in this mess of a legacy. Drink my magical pina colada, and join us for a free, non-ending vacation of platinum bliss.  Drinks and condiments are not included… tour packages are extra.”

And so Quinton (aka Quinomei) passes on at 72 years old, leaving his business to Wendy, but taking all his business perks with him.  That made me cry the most.  He was fun though, and his Komei ways shall be missed.

sims2ep9-2016-12-10-22-41-24-46Angel never cried, but she did start downing “juice” immediately after the death.

sims2ep9-2016-12-10-23-03-18-28Death aside, it’s time for birthdays and mayhem.

sims2ep9-2016-12-10-23-06-39-45The Uglacies were in attendance.

Nose:  “Wow, she is one creepy looking kid.”

sims2ep9-2016-12-10-23-07-37-51“Hey Nosferatu, how has everything been?”

“I’m living it up, sis, in an apartment downtown with my cheer leading girlfriend and my dog Moody.  Good times for a vampire.  Can’t stay for the party, I’m burning up.”

sims2ep9-2016-12-10-23-10-09-85Everyone looks a bit bored with the party, except Don of course.  Who can blame them, seen one toddler party, you’ve seen them all.

“Yay, go sweetie!!!”

sims2ep9-2016-12-10-23-11-28-69I don’t know if I would get that glowing kid too close to the flames…could be catastrophic.

sims2ep9-2016-12-10-23-12-21-20“Yay, grow up ugly!”

“Is she actually yelling at my kid to grow up ugly?”

“Yea, that’s how she is.  I always knew legacy players were twisted, but she’s really on the crazy train.”

sims2ep9-2016-12-10-23-13-54-94Survey says…sims2ep9-2016-12-10-23-14-27-43We have an Uglacy.  Repeat… We have an Uglacy.

sims2ep9-2016-12-10-23-16-45-04“You shouldn’t even be here, you traitor!  You don’t deserve to be at this party!”

“Arrgh, Gage, get him off me.”

sims2ep9-2016-12-10-23-18-33-62“I’m stepping back out” (and he actually did) “What’s wrong with these people?  Do they think I want to attend toddler parties and break up fights.  I’m a lover, not a referee.  Is that a  sim self coming up the sidewalk?”

sims2ep9-2016-12-10-23-15-24-85“Take her down Grandpa Don!  She’s a backstabber!”

“Yea, Don, she forgot I’m her grandaughter.  Beat her into tomorrow!”

sims2ep9-2016-12-10-23-20-02-20“Sorry I had to do that Don, but I have body points too.  I hope you’re happy, scarring our great, great granddaughter at her birthday party.  Poor kid will needs years of therapy for this one!”

sims2ep9-2016-12-10-23-20-31-74“Wow, Can you guys do it again!”

Okay, maybe not.  She is an Uglacy after all.

sims2ep9-2016-12-10-23-28-27-58She does have issues with dogs on the beds however.

“Oh my gosh, he might have fleas, or ticks, or something…Ewww gross.”

It’s those 10 neat points.  Poor little freak.

sims2ep9-2016-12-10-23-41-34-68“Dad, she kicked the tar out of Don.  But sometimes he kicks the tar out of her.  Meanwhile the party score plummets. We can’t keep having snooze parties, we have a reputation to uphold.”

“Yea, son, I get you.  Simselves are drawn to our roof raising parties.  We can’t keep having snooze fests, even if this is a toddler party.  I’m going to have to fix this.”

sims2ep9-2016-12-10-23-32-05-13Meanwhile, upstairs, Don keeps slapping me, while zip elbows me in the head.  Now they are tag teaming me.   Seriously guys, enough is enough.

sims2ep9-2016-12-10-23-33-21-06In a pathetic attempt to save the day, Wendy runs around singing Go Gerbits to all her guests in free will mode.  It doesn’t help the situation.

“GGGoooooooo Gerbits.”

“Geesh, Wendy, I heard that song enough in college.  It sucked then and it sucks now.”

sims2ep9-2016-12-10-23-44-28-17Jihoon ask both of us to join him in the hot tub to get us to stop fighting, and tries to remind us that once we were best friends.  It at least gets the party score up to Good, but Don and I are a long way from friends now.

sims2ep9-2016-12-11-00-02-18-99Busting moves may have been a bit too much for Wendy…

“Arrrgh, I think I busted something else, like my water!”

sims2ep9-2016-12-11-00-03-02-74Yay!  A baby zombie boy!

Meet Shaun, for Shaun of the Dead.

sims2ep9-2016-12-11-00-09-07-57“Good job, honey!”

“Er, thanks.”

And that is where I shall leave it.  Will Shaun be an ugly zombie baby and take the heirship from his sister Tiffany?  Will Don and I ever reconcile?  Will Tiffany grow up to look just like Samara?  Will the Grim Reaper post naked bath pictures of Angel on the internet?  So many questions… only to be answered in the next installment.  Until then, happy simming!

Chapter 5, Honeymoon and Babies

Sims2EP9 2016-08-21 11-40-19-22“LADIES!  I’ve heard your simselves recently arrived in Strangetown.  Welcome Keika and Nichola to my humble abode.”

“Gage Uglacy?”

“That’s right, baby, the one and only.”

“Do we get to meet Don?!”

*Sigh*. “Sure darling, in due time.  Make yourselves at home.”

Sims2EP9 2016-08-21 11-23-43-92“Now girls, I know you are probably intimidated by the masterpiece that is me, but please, don’t be.  This is after all, Gage’s hot tub of love where no topic is off limits.”

I sincerely apologize to Pony, Sam, and Rflong, whose simselves were shamelessly used in the making of my storyline.  (Although Rflong really held her own with Gage!)

Sims2EP9 2016-08-21 11-28-39-45“Now I want to be clear about the terrible rumors about me, started heartlessly by my creator Candi.  I am completely misunderstood and just want to be best friends with everyone.”

Sims2EP9 2016-08-21 11-32-44-48Rflong:  “Last I checked girls he was a romance sim, not a popularity ones.  He wants friends alright, with benefits.  Watch out in here, no splashing… no cuddling of any kind.”

“Hey I resemble, I mean resent that remark.”

True side note… Rflong agrued every topic Gage brought up.  Hilarious.

Sims2EP9 2016-08-21 11-35-14-17“Sorry to interrupt your pathetic attempts at seduction, but we need to talk mister.  I did what you asked,  I downloaded these poor simselves against my better judgement.  But you’re not holding up your end of the bargain, Gage. When are you going to help me repair my relationship with Don?!  We’ve been fighting all over town, and this has gone too far.”

Sims2EP9 2016-08-21 11-24-12-00“Just today he had a horrible accident where he ran smack into the tree while stealing our invisible newspaper.”

Sims2EP9 2016-08-21 11-36-11-01“Baby, I’m working on it.”

“Enough Gage.  It’s been 5 chapters already.  You need to make this a priority.  Don hates me and it is only getting worse.”

Sims2EP9 2016-08-21 11-38-01-45“Relax sweetheart.  I got this.  I’m nothing if I’m not charming.”

“And full of yourself.”

“I’m confident, baby.  I mean look at this package.  How can I not be?”

“Yeah, I’d rather poke my eyes out with a rusty fork.  Now can you get to this already.”

Sims2EP9 2016-08-21 11-38-47-87“Don’t get your panties in a twist, I can handle this. But you have to remember, you literally left us in the middle of a zombie eating apocalypse.  And Don is dealing with some serious disbandment issues.”

“You mean abandonment issues.”

“NO.  You forget I ran an asylum for simselves and was once Dr. Gage.  I know diagnoses.”

Sims2EP9 2016-08-21 11-37-06-72“UGH.  You were a pretend doctor.  Fine Gage. Whatever.  Just start working on this, okay?”

“Sure baby.  Now stop stressing.  How about a soak in my hot tub?”

“No thanks.  I have a story to write.  Just try to be a gentleman, please.”

“Baby, I’m always a gentleman.  I know how to treat the ladies.”

…*sigh*…

Sims2EP9 2016-08-21 11-45-39-10“So Gage, we were all talking and we want some of Don’s chili.  Can you get it for us?”

Sims2EP9 2016-08-21 11-45-20-18“Why of course, Sam.  Don and I are tight.  He’ll whip me chili and then some.  No problemo.  The Gagemeister is on it.  I wouldn’t leave you ladies down.”

Sims2EP9 2016-08-21 10-59-11-51“Gage can you do this, Gage, can you do that.  Simselves.  So demanding.  Pfft.  Can’t live with them, can’t live without them.  Now I have to convince that cranky zombie to have a chili party and forgive Candi.  What do I look like?  Dr. Fricking Phil?”

Woah… note to self, way too much animal print for one picture.

Sims2EP9 2016-08-21 12-03-54-26Meanwhile, at Don’s…

Samara: “Honey, come play some poker with us. Stop moping.”

Don:  “Samara, I’m not moping.  I’m angry.  She trampled all over this family and threw us out like we were yesterday’s garbage.”

Samara:  “Now that isn’t completely true, Don.  She did save us on a hard drive for years.”

Donna:  “Yeah, Dad, I hate to say this, because I love to hate people, but maybe it’s time to move on.”

Ding dong (Or Insert doorbell sound of choosing).

Sims2EP9 2016-08-21 11-56-03-46“Gage. so good to see you.  How’s everything at your new condo?”

“Hey daddy Don.  Can’t complain, the view is great.”

Sims2EP9 2016-08-21 11-57-09-17“Yeah, I heard you’ve been having quite the time of it.  What happened, Gage?  Did you sell out already.  Did you forgive Candi for a cheetah car and a hot tub?!”

“I’m appalled.    You know me better than that.  I’m not that cheap.  She had to download simselves too.”

Sims2EP9 2016-08-21 11-58-16-84“Why, I can’t believe I wasted all that time potty training you and you stab me in the back like this!  Have you forgot how she abandoned us? Left us unplayed for YEARS!”

Sims2EP9 2016-08-21 11-59-53-50“Now listen Don, I agree that was wrong, but if you are going to be angry with anyone, maybe you should be ticked at EA, who shut down our site in the height of popularity just so they could repackage the same game all over again.  And that destroyed the Sims 2, not her.  Now I’m not condoning what she did, but everyone makes mistakes.  Except for me, because I’m exceptional.  But let’s be honest here.  Don’t you miss the parties, the good times?  She came back.  We have the chance to do it all again.”

Sims2EP9 2016-08-21 12-01-07-24“Maybe you have a point.  Sure, I miss the good times.  But she put those brain eating zombies back in the game!”

“Come on Don.  You know that was an accident.  She totally sucks at this game.”

“Well, yea. Okay Gage, I’ll give you that one.”

Sims2EP9 2016-08-21 12-01-52-14“So let’s have a huge chili party, all the Uglacies, all the simselves.  Crash this game like never before.”

“That does sound like fun.”

“And no more fighting with her, Don.  Geesh, that ruins a party score.”

“I’ll try, but no promises.  My enemy meter is out of control.”

sims2ep9-2016-08-26-23-25-48-47Flash back to the actual legacy house, Nose and Wendy have returned home from college.  Nose sports a nifty suit.  Still living on the dark side of life, he hasn’t changed much.

He and Quinomei play an immediate game of redhands.  “Gosh, son, I’ve missed this, sniff.”

sims2ep9-2016-08-26-23-29-22-30Wendy moves back home and ask Jihoon to move in, avoiding the error you get if engaged to a college student and then you can never marry them in Sims 2.  So move em in and live in sin first, another Sim 2 Tip.

Still playing the well dressed handicap, I had outfits already selected for Jihoon.  But seeing his choice in clothing, this is staying!  It so fits his quirky personality.  He rocks those socks and sandals.

sims2ep9-2016-08-26-23-57-56-24Unfortunately Nose remains a vampiric idiot, and immediately decides to go hot tubing in the middle of the afternoon.

“Nose, have you learned nothing from college?”

“But Wendy, I am drawn to the light, the sun is so pretty.”

He reminds me of a moth.  And he was headed for the same fate.

sims2ep9-2016-08-26-23-58-34-73“Well big brother, it’s been great.  But you need to get off this lot before you burn to a crisp and  we don’t have time to babysit you anymore.”

“Love you sis, invite me to lunch, er, a late dinner sometime.”

Then he moved out, took his dog Moody with him, and settled into a nice apartment in the downtown area where he could be his vampire, Night Life self.  Don’t worry, we will see him again for holiday and events.  He’s living it up as a spare.

sims2ep9-2016-08-26-23-50-58-84“Wendy, we were just getting to know your friend Baboon… I asked him what part he played in planet of the apes…”

“Mom, it’s Jihoon, his name is Jihoon.”

sims2ep9-2016-08-26-23-54-47-06“Jihoon, I have something to give you…”

“A name tag so your idiotic parents know who I am?!”

sims2ep9-2016-08-26-23-55-02-19“No, I want you to marry me and become Jihoon Uglacy.”

“Oh my!”  Insert girly squeal…  “I never imagined being in a legacy family!”

And he says yes… so a little profile on Jihoon.  He’s a family sim with a lifetime want of being… wait for it… AN EDUCATION MINISTER!  Ugh!  What is with these sims and their constant need to be teachers!  I mean I have nothing against teaching, but come on.  He’s a Cancer, 6 Neat points, 3 Outgoing, 6 Active, 4 Serious, and 6 Nice.  So he is well balanced, there’s that.  He rolls his second aspiration as pleasure.  Well good, he’ll enjoy all the dates he and Wendy will have.

sims2ep9-2016-08-27-00-05-16-24Which gave Wendy time to plan for the big wedding.  She looks like she might be regretting her choice… nah, she just hates the veil I picked.  Well tough, bridezilla, there’s no time to download now.

Sims2EP9 2016-08-27 00-19-08-50.jpgMeanwhile, out on the front lawn…

“Kick her sorry simself butt, Don…”

“Take her down!”

Let the festivities begin…

sims2ep9-2016-08-27-00-21-44-85“You stop picking on my dad.  You left him in the sim bin for years, and you have the nerve to show your boobs, I mean face, here!”

“Eyes up here, Zip.  I can tell you are related to Gage.”

sims2ep9-2016-08-27-00-24-39-56Finally everyone settled down enough to have the wedding, let the inappropriate heart farting begin…

sims2ep9-2016-08-27-00-23-30-69“I can’t believe they seated me next to you.  Pervert.”

“Well it’s not my fault you dressed like Gage picked out your formal wear.  Maybe his animal print fetish is wearing off on you.  That is so classy for a wedding.”

Maybe Zip has a point.  Plus fighting Don in high heels is putting me at a disadvantage.  Note to self:  Download some new formal wear.

The wedding was beautiful…  Sneak peek at the album.

sims2ep9-2016-08-27-00-27-54-11Finally, it’s time for generation 2 to begin.  Which means…

sims2ep9-2016-08-27-00-30-26-54Time to Party!!!  Hey is that Russian?  It looks Russian.  Eh, time to drink champagne, vodka, whatever…

sims2ep9-2016-08-27-00-34-07-26Let the toasting and endless peeing commence.  To the Bride and Groom…

sims2ep9-2016-08-27-00-35-54-99“May they have lots and lots of legacy babies… Back off Zip, I’m watching you.”

sims2ep9-2016-08-27-00-37-28-02“Here’s to you Wendy, may you find the love and happiness that Samara and I have.”

“Thank you Grandpa Don, that means a lot to me.”

sims2ep9-2016-08-27-00-40-01-46I knew Don had hit the champagne pretty hard, so now that he was wasted, I mean relaxed,  it was my chance to approach him.

“Don, let’s get along.  We both want a future for this legacy, come on, it’s time to move on.  Be on the same side again.”

sims2ep9-2016-08-27-00-40-26-28“Nah, Nah, nah, not listening.  I don’t want to hear it.  You left us.  You didn’t care about this family for years.  Now you want to be friends again, I don’t think so.  Apology denied.”

Don shot me down three times… talk about a grudge.

sims2ep9-2016-08-27-00-42-06-37Even Wendy tried to help and influenced Don to apologize to me.

“Come on grandpa, let bygones be bygones.  Isn’t it time to focus on the positives and let go of the past.”

But what did my simself do…

sims2ep9-2016-08-27-00-42-53-31“So now you want to apologize.  Well I don’t think so.  You just shot me down, and that ship has sailed.”

Yeah, I have no control over Don or my simself at this point.  Just best to leave it alone.

sims2ep9-2016-08-27-00-45-05-11Random townie: “This wedding cake is delicious!”

Wendy:  “Who are you again?”

Townie:  “Oh I’m just a random townie who decided to crash your wedding for free cake and vodka.”

Wendy:  “It’s champagne.  Russian champagne.”

Townie:  “Exactly!  That’s what Vodka is.”

*Sigh*

sims2ep9-2016-08-27-00-38-56-93“Wendy, you’ve been such a good sport about this.  I got you a wedding gift, a honeymoon to Twikki Beach.”

“Oh my gosh, really?!  I thought legacy sims were not allowed to take vacations.”

“No, I think they can.  Just get a few dates in with Jihoon, okay.  And by a few, 50 would be nice.  Reach your lifetime goal and get it out of the way, okay?”

“Er…”sims2ep9-2016-08-27-22-57-30-59“Hello bell hop who looks an awful lot like my husband…  I’m here for my free vacation package.”

“Oh the 3 day budget plan…”

“I should have known.  Seriously, 50 dates in 3 days.  That’s not happening.”

And it didn’t…

sims2ep9-2016-08-27-23-07-20-69“It was nice of her to give us a little breather before we enslave our lives as legacy sims forever… but we only have three days, so we have to make the most of it.”

“Does everything we do have to be a date?”

“Yea, pretty much.  On the plus side, we will be super platinum while we are super exhausted.”

“Um,that doesn’t really sound like a vacation…”

Actually it sounds just like a vacation in real life.

sims2ep9-2016-08-27-23-00-17-07Swimming in the ocean only gives her 500 aspiration points?  Cough, cough, Rip off!

The ocean definitely gives me more aspiration points than that!

sims2ep9-2016-08-27-23-14-37-28“Well if it’s aspiration points you want…”

Nooo, look away!

sims2ep9-2016-08-27-23-16-47-36Dream Date!  Not mine of course… but good for them.

sims2ep9-2016-08-27-23-47-28-80“The Riff raff at this hotel is terrible.  That old geezer just took my egg omelet.”

“What?!  I cannot allow him to do this to my beautiful bride.”

sims2ep9-2016-08-27-23-49-24-16“You sir, unhand that meal.  How dare you steal my wife’s ice cream.”

“It was an omelet…”

“Ice cream, omelet, same difference.”

sims2ep9-2016-08-27-23-50-22-68“Sucker…”

And that is how we got him to step away from the omelet so Wendy could eat.  Hey, this hotel food is expensive.  So what if it has a few old man germs on it?

sims2ep9-2016-08-27-23-59-37-83It was time to enjoy the local hot springs, although who left the eight year old brat in is anyone’s guess.

“Hey, hey guys!  Do you want to hear about my new top!”

In unison:  “NO, no we don’t!”

“It spins really, really fast!  And it’s red and yellow, and I can make it go all the way across the room!”

sims2ep9-2016-08-28-00-27-08-64Next up, a tour of the pirate ship.

“Ahoy, matey, bring us ashore!”

“Aye, Aye Captain.”

Note that Wendy is the captain, and Jihoon is the first mate… yea, that tells you a lot about how this marriage is going to be.

sims2ep9-2016-08-28-00-33-18-93“BOO, I’m Edward Dregg, land lovers, and I don’t like no sims plundering me boat.  But if you friend me, I shall teach you a chanty of the sea.  I was an awesome sim captain in Sims 2 but I got pretty lamed down in Sims 3, and I’m still pissed about it.”

sims2ep9-2016-08-28-00-34-53-55“So I’m on my honeymoon, and I was thinking about, you know, spicing things up a bit.  A little bondage maybe.  I could do a whole sea captain scenario, you have any tips for the ladies?  Can I borrow the eye patch?!”

“Er… I think I’m going back into my cabin now… you’re on your own mate.”

sims2ep9-2016-08-28-00-56-15-22“So I can see how this legacy gig can get tiring.  I mean, we’ve been on a never ending rotation of dates and interactions and this is just a vacation!  Do we get a prize for this?”

“Um, we get to have kids, work our butts off to reach the top of our careers, skill till we drop, and then die…”

“Oh.  That sounds… really depressing…  Is there an up side?”

“Lots and lots of birthday parties?”

sims2ep9-2016-08-28-00-38-09-19“What are you doing , Jihoon?”

“Trying to dig my way out.”

“Too late.”

sims2ep9-2016-08-28-01-05-00-47“Roll your hips, yes, yes that’s it.  Now you can go home and teach everyone the Macarena!”

“I thought this was the hula…”

“Sorry, but remember you got the low budget vacation.  Next up, Wheels on the Bus…”

sims2ep9-2016-08-27-23-34-11-93“Well that’s it, Jihoon.  Tomorrow, we start legacy living.  Any regrets?”

“I got you baby, it will be fine.  Besides I’m a family sim, I’m already rolling wants for babies and  I can handle all those dates with just you.  Now if I were romance, this would be a lot more painful.”

sims2ep9-2016-08-28-01-16-43-89“So this is it, our last breakfast in peace.”

“Do we have to go back, she might not notice…”

Fat chance of that… *cracks whip*

sims2ep9-2016-11-25-17-51-15-57“Well at least we finished with some car woohoo…wait what’s sound?”

“What sound?”

“It sounded like a lullabye…”

Welcome home my pretties…

sims2ep9-2016-11-25-19-31-52-80Meanwhile, while Wendy and Jihoon were goofing off, Quinomei had been hard at work using his gold sewing badge and taking over the old ladies’ quilt club.

“Hey, I make a mean quilt!”

I’m sure you do.

sims2ep9-2016-11-25-19-32-07-49Angel was hard at work designing bouquets and snapdragons.  Their flower and crafts store is at a whole level 4 now.  Yes, be amazed.

sims2ep9-2016-11-26-10-17-05-23“Hey  Wendy, how was the honeymoon…”

Boing!!!

Er never mind dear,  I don’t need details.”

sims2ep9-2016-11-26-10-06-37-34Now that the honeymoon was officially over, Wendy went back to work on a servo, that we can never use because of the the pets clogging up this house.  I don’t like the pet handicap.  You always have 3 pets or more running around and it does not leave room for spares or servos.  I am beginning to think about ditching that restriction.

Jihoon has taken up pottery, cause that’s sexy in the movie Ghost.  But Jihoon making plates not so much.  He’s just at the playdoh level right now.

sims2ep9-2016-11-26-10-19-28-49Quinomei actually surprises me and does something on free will I rarely see.  He runs up to Wendy right after she finds out she is pregnant and talks to her belly.

“Hey there little one, whose your totally cool grandpa, yeah, that’s me.  Pssk, stay in, it’s not safe out here.”

sims2ep9-2016-11-25-19-44-55-86So giving the pets one more go, we adopt a female for Peppy, our current heir pet.  Now in case you’ve forgotten, I’m trying to do the pet handicap, where you actually breed your pets alongside your sims, but it is a huge pain.  This is Buffy, I absolutely love her because she looks like my real life dog…Teddy,  a Basinji.

sims2ep9-2016-11-26-10-29-59-08Unfortunately, Peppy does not share my sentiments.

“Grrrr, I hate you.  Get out of my yard!”

Dang it, this is not how puppies are made.  I’m probably going to have to lock them in the yard together like I did before with Pep’s mom and dad.  Well this sucks.

sims2ep9-2016-11-26-15-39-04-74Jihoon can’t find a job teaching, so he buys the Mercantile Mart in Blue Water and opens up a pottery store. He can only make plates, so the merchandise is quite limited.  Like plates.  Only plates.  And more plates.

Angel:  “This store sucks, who is going to buy plates… how boring.”

sims2ep9-2016-11-26-15-43-03-62“I can’t believe we sold out.  Tell me again why I bother making Snapdragons?”

Quinomei on the other hand is quite the business man who wants to hire Don the Zombie for an employee.  Smart choice as Don is quite the worker, however, he isn’t about to leave his chili palace.  Yea, he carries it around in his want panel.sims2ep9-2016-11-27-12-07-04-81Hire Don the Zombie as an employee.  Not likely, but very smart.

sims2ep9-2016-11-27-12-10-52-31Therefore, Quinomei hires Lainey Bartlett, a semi-ugly teenager who might be useful later.  Right now, she doesn’t have a badge to her name and whines constantly.

“I have to stand at the cash register today?  Ugh, that so unfun Mr. Uglacy.  Can’t I just stand around and look pretty and people will pay me?”

“Don’t be ridiculous, Lainey, there’s no such thing as a job like that.”Image result for Kim Kardashian snob

Ok, maybe there are some jobs like that.

sims2ep9-2016-11-27-13-45-46-56So I’m tired of boring businesses, and decide to do something that I’ve never seen done before.  Someone may have, so don’t send me ugly messages if this was your idea first. Copyright it, okay. So its a Christmas Lot!!!  With Christmas trees!  Yay!  Only, I have no idea if this will work because my seasons pack is right on the verge of winter and I’m not sure sims will like shopping outside in the cold.  This could be great… or it could be horribly disastrous!  The Uglacies dropped a cool $20,000 on this lot in Blue Water.

sims2ep9-2016-11-27-13-56-25-36Gage Jr. seems to approve.  Of course that doesn’t mean much, but still.

sims2ep9-2016-11-27-14-18-06-95Finally, Jihoon gets a job in teaching,   And who does he bring home from work his first day but Samantha Ottoman.  Now in case you’ve forgotten, she was the bring home coworker of both Quinomei and Angel back in the day, but now it looks as if she’s been demoted from Education Minister to Playground Monitor with Jihoon.  Worse, he has all these lightning bolts and inappropriate thoughts with her.  Grrr.  Dude she has a whole houseful of kids and a loser husband.

sims2ep9-2016-11-27-14-19-36-71“Here, Samantha, let me massage your back for you…”

“Oh Jihoon, that’s so kind of you.”

Random townie: “Boo, hiss, hiss, you’ve got a pregnant wife you jerk.”

My sentiments exactly.

sims2ep9-2016-11-27-14-30-41-70“Um, yes, Sim Pet Patrol?  I’d like to report our dog Buffy as missing.  How long has she been gone, er, today, a few days, not sure, we haven’t paid any attention to her since we brought her home.  We just noticed she’s missing.”

Yea, Buffy ran away.  I haven’t had that happen before, but the other dogs hated her and no one had a relationship with her.  I’m sure my sims would do this if they could.

sims2ep9-2016-11-27-14-32-15-15“Hey Quinton, look at my awesome hula I learned at the island.”

“Wow Buffoon, that’s the most awesome hula ever!”

Said the loser to the loser.  Dumb and Dumber.

sims2ep9-2016-11-27-14-35-19-63“So I don’t know what happened guys, one minute I was Education Minister, and the next I was monitoring the playground again.  It’s as if I have no control of my life or my fate.”

sims2ep9-2016-11-27-14-36-16-54“Er What do you mean you’re my mother in law’s best friend?”

“Well we’ve known each other forever.  Why I remember when Wendy was in diapers.”

That awkward moment when you realize you’ve been hunting cougar.

sims2ep9-2016-11-27-14-36-58-76While everyone else was enjoying a soak in the tub, Wendy was hard at work, finishing up a servo we could never use *sob* and basking in the glow of her tinkering abilities…

When suddenly…sims2ep9-2016-11-27-14-38-19-60“OWwww, owww, owww, owww.  Where is everyone?!  I’m in labor!”

sims2ep9-2016-11-27-14-42-51-70“It’s been summer for like 5 chapters now.  It’s time for winter.  Is that screaming I hear.  No, never mind. Probably just the winter wind starting.   So what were we talking about… oh yes.  Seasons.  Any day now, there will be snow.”

sims2ep9-2016-11-27-14-43-57-96“Oh man, that was screaming we heard!”

“Oh look Tiffany, it’s your stupid daddy who just missed your birth.”

Yup, it’s a girl, and continuing with the naming of horror movies/monsters, meet Tiffany, named after Chucky’s girlfriend… Related image

“Barbie, eat your heart out.”

sims2ep9-2016-11-27-14-48-21-04“Hey, why does her thought bubble have my husband in it?!”

And with that that I shall leave the readers.  Tune in next time to answer the questions…

  1.   Will Don ever forgive me?
  2.   Will the Christmas lot be a success or a dismal failure?
  3.   Will Buffy ever return home, and why would she?
  4.   Did I just lose the cool zombie skins?
  5.   Is Jihoon ever going to stop crushing on Samantha?

Until next time, Happy Simming!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter 4, Uglacies Back In Business

Sims2EP9 2016-04-02 21-17-44-02Hello fellow simmers, or sim story readers, or accidental browsing victim, whatever your story is, we are glad to see you.  The Uglacies are still striving to produce the ugliest sim yet in 10 generations of legacy living. I know it’s been a while, but there’s a reason, which we will get to (trust me, it’s the roughest college years ever).  Legacy living is sim living with no cheats, lots of agendas, and usually shows how masters play the sims… usually.  But not here.  Angel Uglacy is the first generation descended from 10 generations from 10 years ago… are you following?  Now I know what you’re thinking, she just got promoted to her lifetime want of Education Minister!  Hahaha.  No.  When last we left the Uglacies, they had returned from their family camping trip to Axe Mountain, or wherever.

Sims2EP9 2016-04-03 11-04-13-14So a quick recap, Angel married this… Quinomei, as I like to call him for his Komei like appearance, who reached the top of his career ladder, Education Minister, and achieved his lifetime want.  He grew old in this chapter.  Now I make him sew and garden and do lame stuff.

Sims2EP9 2016-04-02 18-24-42-85Noseferatu, the firstborn,  was a knowledge sim (lies!) who only want to have fun, fun, fun all the time. He’s an overactive, mean, playful freak of nature.  I aged his neighbor, Nancy, who he completely ignored to spite her attempts to follow him home from school everyday, and suddenly he rolls the want to date her.

“I don’t understand, Nose. You never talked to me as a kid, you ignored me when I came over, why the sudden interest?”

Sims2EP9 2016-04-02 18-28-00-80“Should I tell her boobs!”

Sims2EP9 2016-04-02 19-01-48-77Meanwhile, Wendy is a focused opposite of her brother.  Yes, she is playful too, but more directed and nice.  She loves to dance, but she has a horrible metabolism.  She actually works out more than any of the family, and yet gets none of the rewards.  Well I don’t care, she can wear that husky sized tutu with pride because she has the most body points.  I’ve never had a sims body stuck on the bottom of the fit scale like this. I was beginning to think she was glitched.

Sims2EP9 2016-04-02 21-54-23-24“Grandpa Don, I dance and dance, but I’m still not skinny like the other girls in dance class.  I can’t lose weight.  They make fun of me.”

“That doesn’t matter, Wendy because you are an Uglacy.  Being pretty is over-rated.  Frankly we don’t care what other sims think.  Can’t is not in our vocabulary.  Won’t is our motto.  We use sayings such as no way, don’t give a flip, and a variety of cuss words, but it’s not because we can’t, Wendy.  It’s because we won’t.”

“So what you’re saying is…”

“Eat lots of chili and tell them to buzz off.  If that doesn’t work, the after effects of my chili will.”

Sims2EP9 2016-04-02 19-36-32-43Wendy is not the only Uglacy who likes to dance.  Gage Jr. shows up almost daily and heads straight to the dance bar.  That was something I didn’t see coming.

“What?!  The ladies like a man who knows his way around the dance floor.”

Sims2EP9 2016-04-02 19-41-03-76“Hold that pose, ballerina boy, I’m going to get some of my dollar bills.”

Drunken nanny strikes again.

Sims2EP9 2016-04-02 18-37-21-37“Daddy, daddy, I got straight A’s!”

“That’s nice Wendy, but daddy is trying to skill.”

“But doesn’t your light bulb have to be on.”

“Er…”

Yeah, minister of education my butt.  His light bulb is never on.

Sims2EP9 2016-04-02 19-49-30-55Speaking of education…*cringes*

“Why hello, Mrs. Uglacy.  I heard you want to get your daughter into private school now.”

“Why yes, headmaster.  I think you will find that Wendy is actually our brightest, most talented child ever for an Uglacy.  She dances.  She skills.  She carries straight As.”

“Psssk, pssk.  You know that intelligence and academics are over-rated.  What matters is how well you kiss my @$$.”

Sims2EP9 2016-04-02 19-51-23-93“How dare you bring up hats.  Those are so last year.  Why I never!”

Angel has 10 fashion points and 10 Charisma points.  YOU LOSER!  A hat wouldn’t hurt your shiny bald head one bit.

Sims2EP9 2016-04-02 19-43-46-58“Well I see you went all out and served me your finest bass and squash, but I was really wanting some of that Uglacy chili.  I like to let go with a good after dinner fart.”

Sims2EP9 2016-04-02 19-44-43-44“And a nice cold beer would be nice too.  I heard this place serves it on tap to nannies all day long.”

Pillar of salt, this guy.

Sims2EP9 2016-04-02 19-53-39-07“Oh my, what a nice looking young man.  Can I have him… I mean give me the tour.”

“Ohhh, this creep is getting on my last nerve.”

It’s okay Angel, there’s one sure fire way to win a headmaster over.

Sims2EP9 2016-04-02 19-52-53-31“OH I love the interior decorating.  What pretty pink butterflies, and toilets, beautiful, sculptured toilets!  It takes me back to my youth, before the constipation set in.”

Headmasters love bathrooms, probably because they are full of… well never mind.  Point is we got in.

Sims2EP9 2016-04-02 23-18-33-70“Did you forget something?”

Uh, nooo. Oh come on, how many sim birthday cakes can one person take?  So Wendy grew up. She rolls family, and is turned on by logical blondes (*snickers*)  What?!  I can make that joke, I am blonde.  Her turn off is athletes.  And she wants to marry off 6 kids and live happily ever after.  Booring…

Sims2EP9 2016-04-02 23-33-19-51Now just in case you forgot our lovely pets, That’s Pierre, the demon poodle.  He’s an aggressive doofus.  He brings such joy to my hours of sim playing.  Like tearing up furniture and homework, and peeing all over the floor so that the Uglacies have lots of cleaning points from moping up all day.  Sometimes he attacks townies passing by, which actually I do enjoy.

Sims2EP9 2016-04-02 20-19-02-32Then there’s Folly.  Like Father, like daughter.  Her pastimes include avoiding baths and tearing up Quinomei’s garden.

Sims2EP9 2016-04-03 00-08-12-57 (2)And finally Moody, a doofus , lazy, pigpen male terrier we were forced to adopt to keep the family breed going.  He likes to dig holes… and dig holes… and dig holes.

What he doesn’t like is Folly, which made puppy breeding a real pain.  I literally had to build a yard and lock the two of them in it for days.

Sims2EP9 2016-04-03 00-10-27-71Really Angel, you want to adopt another pet.  Oh hell no.  Even Nose and Quinomei are glaring at her like she’s off her meds.

Sims2EP9 2016-04-09 20-48-51-39But then they go and make cute puppies… introducing Peppy, a friendly, genius pigpen.  I almost had the trifecta.  But I sense lots of baths in his future.

Sims2EP9 2016-04-09 20-53-18-57Little Peppy is adorable and an only child… THANK the stars!!!  Cause if I had to have six dogs running around on this lot, I would have quit without saving…  not really…*shifty eyes*  maybe… I mean, really, would you blame me?

Sims2EP9 2016-04-07 21-32-23-87But enough with the dogs, time to dust off an expansion I do miss.  Open for Business!  Now that Quinomei has retired, he and Angel decided to buy the Little and Local shop in the Blue Water District and sell crafts and flowers. Just the kind of lame thing a couple of nice retired school teachers would do.  Well technically, Angel’s not retired because she keeps getting demoted, but I digress.

Now I have created my own handicap, one that Pinstar never thought of.  I call it the Monopoly handicap!  By the time this legacy is through, I want to own ALL of Bluewater!  MUhahaha, break out the evil laughter.  I don’t know if it’s actually doable, but that’s not the point.  I am going to try.  If I do it, I’m going to be generous and in the spirit of Pinstar, give myself one whopping legacy point.

Sims2EP9 2016-04-07 21-47-20-68NO Quinomei, it is not your wife who is open for business!  *Smacks him upside head*

Sims2EP9 2016-04-07 21-51-26-91“What do you mean this isn’t a shoe store?  Wherever will I get my petunia pink prom high heels?”

Time for a grand opening with all the agonizing townies.  And there’s only one worse customer than townies…

Sims2EP9 2016-04-08 23-54-07-53Simselves!!!  (Cue Game of Thrones music).   Blueberry Pie, long time no see.

“Yes, while just ignore that rude narrator in the background.  I’ll have you know that I am an excellent customer.”

I HAVE pictures that say otherwise!

Sims2EP9 2016-04-22 21-05-00-95“Excuse me, miss, but what kind of restaurant has dirty dishes on vacated tables…”

“Sir, they just got up, I was headed over there right now.”

“What?!  That’s no excuse.  I expected better of Don’s Chili Palace.  Why I have to dock some stars for this.  And that hair… I’m afraid that will cost a star too.”

Sims2EP9 2016-04-22 21-04-20-41“Hmmm, I’ll just wander around aimlessly, look confused, demand special attention, and dock some more stars.  I’m confused to what I want to buy and no one is helping me.  Tssk, tssk, horrible service here.”

It’s a restaurant!  Not a Home Depot.

Guess I should plug his Apocalypse since I shamelessly made fun of his simself.  Blueberry Pie is still writing an Apocalypse Challenge… but this time using movies!  You can check it out at the Boolprop forum.

Sims2EP9 2016-04-09 22-18-46-17As if that wasn’t bad enough… my simself had to be oogled by Quinomei.  Ewww.  You better stop heart farting mister, or I sense an accident in your immediate future.

Sims2EP9 2016-04-09 22-30-13-14But who should come to save the day but Samantha Ottoman, the official best friend of the Uglacy family.  She gives them the star that gets them to a level one business the first day.  Poor Samantha, pregnant and stuck forever in the sim bin, which I finally figured out when someone informed me over at Boolprop the other day.

Sims2EP9 2016-04-03 12-13-55-55Samantha was like a loyal puppy, following Angel home everyday from work. Even hanging out with Samara, the queen of mean.  There was only one thing to do.

“Samantha, us legacy families don’t usually give a crap about random townies or CAS sims, but you have been more then dedicated.  You should at least get to have that baby and get a real house.”

“Really Quinomei?!  Does this mean… I’ll be a real pixelated, simulated, real unreal person now?!” Cue sims loading music…

Sims2EP9 2016-04-03 12-18-17-88For a moment, I was feeling all warm like a fairy Godmother, then I loaded them. Uggggh!

OH dear God, she’s a rabbit!  There’s a reason this family is stuck in the sim bin.  Maxis made CAS sims are always weirdos.  They live with his mother!  And it only goes downhill from here.

Sims2EP9 2016-04-09 23-31-32-93“Hey, hey baby, we’ve been in that Sim Bin a long time.  Are you thinking what I’m thinking?!”

Samantha’s husband, Peter, is a real prize.  A romance sports photographer whose first want is woohoo her  and then meet someone new.

“Hey dad, I’m right here!”

“That’s okay Davey, watch your old man here, you’ll learn how to handle the ladies.”

Sims2EP9 2016-04-10 00-09-43-51“OWWW, oh ouch, I think the baby is coming.  Where is Peter?”

Sims2EP9 2016-04-10 00-00-59-06Oh he’s just outside, autonomously flirting with some co-worker he brought home and scarring your seven year old daughter forever, no biggie.

“Well I need him because…”

Sims2EP9 2016-04-10 00-10-46-14OH Samantha,  YOU did not do this to me!  Of course you had twins!!!

Sims2EP9 2016-04-10 00-11-43-90“Excellent work Samantha, twin girls.  That’s lovely.  Why I’ve already rolled wants for another grandbaby.  I just love seeing my loser son spread his DNA.”

Okay, that’s my cue to leave.  I ain’t birthing no more babies here.

Sims2EP9 2016-04-02 22-47-08-09Back at the Uglacy home, Angel was working her way up to Snapdragons.  Oh the flower that forever fills your sims needs.

Sims2EP9 2016-04-02 23-52-41-26And she had just finished a novel to meet the storyteller handicap.  That oddly does not look like “The Uglacies Return.”  Unless that’s Gage on the cover with a sim self *cringes*.

Sims2EP9 2016-04-04 20-24-45-50And in the spirit of overachieving at everything, she continues to get demoted due to bad chance cards.

“Yeah, at this rate I’m going to be the cafeteria lady next week.”

Sims2EP9 2016-04-09 21-17-12-19Meanwhile, Quinomei has been trying to convince the garden club to toss a wishing well our way, but they constantly whine about bugs, dying plants, and worse, they dare to insult our flamingos!

UntitledYOU are the only trash in my yard, missy.  Plastic flamingos reek of class!

Sims2EP9 2016-04-10 00-47-36-00But there was one sim that actually frightened me, because I’m not use to successful sims.

“Ahh, the top of my part-time music job. What is this?  My first day?  Well, that was easy.  I just love the smell of stars.”

Sims2EP9 2016-04-10 01-16-07-93“Oh, look at that, I just maxed my dance skills on my own.  Maybe if she doesn’t notice me, I can actually win a few more scholarships.”