When we last left the Uglacies, all of the kids had arrived at college. A poll for the heir was on. The viewers have spoken. The votes are in… who reigned supreme as the next Uglacy heir? Drum roll please… bum bum bum bum…
Louise Uglacy… come on down! You won by 71% of the votes with 15 votes. Tiffany came in second at 4, and Shaun had one vote.. and Lisa had one vote. I mean come on, was there any doubt… she’s an ugly zombie with a unibrow… and the romance aspiration to have 20 simultaneous lovers. If that doesn’t scream Uglacy, I don’t know what does.
“Now wait one frickin, frackin second here… I demand a recount! I obviously was groomed to be the Uglacy heir. This isn’t fair!”
“Get a grip sis, the votes are in and the polls are public at boolprop.com. It’s not like I ever wanted this gig anyways. Now I have to settle down and have a bunch of brats.”
Lisa: “I’d love to have some babies and…”
“OH shut up Lisa! Take your family loving aspirations out of here, would you?! You are way too pretty to be heir.”
“Great, now I’ve got to play the part.”
Let’s work on getting out of the dorms and into the Uglacy Greek House.
“Fine, fine, these nerds should be showing up anytime.”
“Yay, try to catch us!”
“Ha, ha, tag you’re it.”
“I’m not going to let you talk to me, ha ha ha.”
“Er, remind me again, I want to be part of this Greek House because?”
“Gooo Verbits… oh yay. This is so much fun.”
“Your school cheer sucks. I’m not sure you are pledge material. We need a better performance. One more time with feeling.”
“Grrr, I’ll give you feeling bowl hair boy.”
“She’s in there sucking up to the Greek House that I was supposed to get into first, because I was supposed to be heir.”
“Oh get over it, Tiffany. Why don’t you join Buck and me in our interpretive dance of pathetic sibling wannabes.”
“Tank, thank goodness you came to college. Not all is lost… I’ve missed you so much… *slurpy, kissy noises…*
“Tiffany, baby, me and my brothers got a cool little apartment on campus. We finally got away from my crazy old man.”
“Oh I’m so glad you’re here, you’re my one true love.”
5 Minutes later…”OH my goodness, that Phil is dreamy…”
Er… okay. Don’t let Tank hear that Tiffany.
“Tank, Tank who?”
Fortune sim, my butt.
“So we took a vote, and you managed to corner all of us and befriend us. Welcome to the Uglacy Greek House!”
“Great. This is almost as exciting as the day I got potty trained.”
“Do I really have to go… I mean there are free meals at the dorm and lots of guys.”
It’s a legacy college tradition… and they have a hot tub and double beds.
“Well in that case… call the taxi!”
Spoken like a true romance sim.
“OK bowl cut boy, time for a new look. And I dyed it to match the color of that pink power ranger suit you insist on wearing.”
“WOW, I love it.”
Makeovers become the new initiation for pledges… because there is no greater torture than a bad makeover.
“Way to go on the blush, sis! You know zombies can’t pull off this color.”
“Wait, you’re telling me I have to wear this until the pledge period is over?! I just though I had to write your term paper, scrub a toilet or two, but this is ridiculous.”
But of course she gets Phil’s right the first try…
“OH baby, it’s so me… I’m feeling all Austin Powers.”
“She is so fine! I would tap that.”
“He is so fine! I would tap that.”
From one romance sim to another. But then they would literally tap anything.
Not that the *cough, cough… the fortune sim is much better.
“What?! I’m just relaxing. Nothing wrong with chilling in Phil’s bed. It’s economical. I save on buying a bed.”
“Chris, this is award winning chili. They aren’t kidding, Don’s recipe is to die for.”
“So right, Phil, let me reach in and grab your heart.”
And there are some rumors about Don’s famous chili… no comment. Let’s just say I bet our secret recipe would make those baked bean amateurs pee themselves.
Speaking of Don, his Chili Palace is hugely popular. Louise takes all her dates there, which should keep him in business alone.
The simselves flock like crazy. They buy his desserts faster then he can stock the shelves.
Blueberry Pie: “But what do you mean you’re out of Blueberry Pie?”
Cowforbrains: “How about some fresh sim pies… I mean meat pies?”
Pony’s simself: “Come on hostess, I want some chili already. I’ve been standing here eyeing this menu for two hours. How long must I tap my feet impatiently?”
Even Bella Goth hangs out here, although she seems to want some weird vegan version of Don’s chili. Figures.
“Well I have a figure to maintain. Not everyone can pull off this red dress.”
That’s not what I hear… cough, cough…
Speaking of… victim #1 Kenneth Grundstorm. Only 19 simulataneous lovers left to go and have to be completed within one year to get her life time want… CAN she do it? Because once we hit the Junior year Louise has to re-roll as the heir and likely will not get romance and the same lifetime want. The clock is clicking.
“Well I was going to haul her off to the secret society… but never mind.”
Actually happened. He never did come back for Louise, not sure if she missed her chance, but hey, she was busy getting busy.
“I moved in, can I wipe this makeup off now?”
And lose that fantastic lipstick. No way.
“So to properly bow Phil, you have to look down lower, lower… yes, right there.”
Louise: “I’m totally on to you Tiffany.”
“Shut up Louise, you got no room to talk.”
Victim #2, Ravi Do… yea I didn’t make that up. He looks a lot like her grandpa Don. Feeling a bit Game Of Thrones here.
Not that that stopped us.
Whose that hussy just a walking up the street…
“I am not a hussy. I run the finest sorority on campus.”
Sure, sure Heather Huffington. Whatever you want to call your sordid little den of sins.
“Oh Heather, long time no seee.”
And I actually forgot Barbara the cheerleader had a fling with Heather back in the day until she ran up and smooched her as a “hello”. But then hasn’t everyone had a fling with Heather? Her lips are the petri dish of the campus.
Another fine member of our Greek House establishment is pissed off Chris who is furious with Tiffany for no reason whatsoever. Chris has anger management issues.
“Maybe cause I’d like to graduate sometime in the next ten years. Or Maybe cause you actually turned my girlfriend into a brain eating zombie and kicked her out of this house because you were too lame to figure out how to get a mod out of your game! Or maybe it was the time you had one of your heirs use me, then throw me away because I wasn’t ugly enough… or…”
OKAY Chris. Go color or something. Geesh, you should just be grateful to get game time.
Victim #3… Rip Grunt. The poor forgotten middle brother of the grunt family. Surely this kid needs some love. Lets go all out. Put on the disco dress for this one.
“Tell me what you want, what you really, really want…”
“I want to be friends with my little brother Buck.”
“Wow. Way to kill the mood.”
Better start out with a peck, Louise. Don’t want to scare the crap out of him. As the lioness nears the prey… ever so cautiously…
Awww, first kiss. I guess none of my sleezy sims have gotten to him yet. Until now.
“Rip, hold my hands and look deep into my social glasses…”
“Rip! Get away from that she wolf! She’s just going to use you and throw you away… just like our mother did to dad!”
Now, now Tank, get your sim story history correct. Your mother did not cheat on your dad, she died mysteriously… while watching TV with Olive Spectra or something. Bella was the big cheater in Sims 2.
550 interactions later… 4 beers, a bag of popcorn, and 54 cuss words…
“Yay, you’re my best friend.”
GADS he is so hard to get… what college boy plays this hard to get?!
Of course, it’s not helping that Tank is hovering. “I’m warning you, Rip, she’s the college tramp…”
“SHUT UP Tank! You always try to ruin everything for me!”
Technically Heather Huffington is the college tramp. I just needed to clarify that for the readers.
“Your brother’s just jealous. Let’s forget about him and have a good time. What do you say, Rip?”
“You really like me?”
“Er sure I do.”
“That’s great, but I got to go now. I have to study to maintain the Dean’s list. See you later.”
ARRRRGH. Really Rip?! We are on a time crunch here.
The next day… finally. She deflowers poor little Rip.
Sadly he shows up with flowers that evening while she started courting a new potential lover.
“I thought I was special to you.”
‘Fine, I’ll just take my flowers and go.”
And he did. He didn’t even get mad. It was kind of sad and pathetic. Poor Rip.
Not that it slowed Louise down. Victim 4 was Juan Copur, the dorm zombie whose brain eating tendencies had finally disappeared along with the mod.
But who should show up… Rip’s brothers. This crap only happens in my game. Keep in mind I have no control over Buck or Tank, they just happened to be at the party and stalked the hot tub all on their own freewill.
“See Buck, not even a day and she’s already forgotten about Rip and moved on.”
“Tramp! Trash! CHEATER, CHEATER!”
“Er, these guys are really starting to creep me out, Louise.”
“Just ignore them, Bob, they’ll go away.”
“Juan, my name’s Juan.”
OH My God! I have had Banned 4 Life pictures before but Buck Grunt poses for the all time kill! He’s one kinky freak. Buck is not afraid to take it to the next level. I need some soap for my eyes. He’s enjoying that mohawk way too much.
Tank: “GEESH Buck, even I’m outta here! You little creeper.”
Thank goodness Don was there to save the day and make the party a roof raiser. Chris graduated, freeing up a spot for Shaun, the last remaining Uglacy in the dorm, to move in. Now all the Uglacies are in their Greek House.
Feeling a little bad for Chris, I had Aurora, his zombie girlfriend from chapters ago, came over and eat his face, and they lived happily ever after. Actually she didn’t eat his face because I finally figured out how to get that mod out of my game.
Barbara, Noseferatus’s girlfriends from chapters ago, also graduated, and maybe, if I have time, I will move her into his downtown apartment and they will live happily ever after too. But that is a big maybe. I barely can maintain one family of time sucking sims.
Barbara grows up while Shaun hates her with a passion of a 100 angry faces and wants to literally see her dead ghost. See exhibit A above. No one seems to particularly like Barbara and her cheer-leading ways. Thank goodness she is moving out before he moves in or chaos would be inevitable. Especially since he is oddly attracted to her too.
“What a great party!”
Arggggh… what the hell? Where did she come from? And why is this grandma is her undies… eeew. Some questions are better left unanswered.
I finally figured out that while carnivals won’t work if you own the business, they will work if you just make them a community lot. I didn’t actually make this lot, I think I downloaded from Mod The Sims. But yay, unlike the horrendous mess we made of spending all the Uglacy’s money on an amusement park that didn’t work, now this one does. BECAUSE ITS NOT MINE. That’s why.
“OH my gosh, this roller coaster actually moves!”
“I had no idea they could actually move, or that we could sit in them. Amazing!”
“Arrrgh, the haunted house is actually haunted, with badly singing and dancing skeletons.”
“That’s right baby, and no matter how bad our singing is, you better never delete this lot, or we will seriously haunt your game by crashing it… muhaha. Come on Boys! Let’s break out in a chorus of Justin Bieber songs!”
True story boys and girls… never delete modded npc’s or your game will be eternally cursed. I have learned the hard way that you should read the fine print on Mods.
Speaking of npc’s, is it any surprise that the charlatan is actually drawn to the railroad tracks?
“AHA, finally, I can do more than pick pocket mere sims. Now I can kidnap fair maidens and tie them to the track, muhaha. It is a glorious day!”
“Hey I need some rope and a fair maiden up here! NO not you Sandy Bruty! I said a fair maiden. Where is that doofus Meadow Thayer when I need her?”
“Wait, what do you mean there’s no interaction to tie a sim up on the track and kill them? But, but that’s so unfair. What’s the point of the tracks?!”
“Curses. Foiled again.”
The Charlatan walked all over the tracks the entire time. I was literally laughing aloud and amused by this. He was drawn to the roller coaster tracks. Oh if only I were a modder, the mods I would make. Death by train tracks would be at the top.
But I digress. So back at the Uglacy House, Tank walked in on Tiffany and Phil, “relaxing” as usual.
“Oh calm down Tank, Phil and I are just good friends. We were just talking.”
“Well I said we were good friends. Geesh.”
“That’s it, Louise. I’m not letting you do any more makeovers on me. You haven’t gotten one right. When the hell are you going to earn a badge?”
“Oh was the point to get a badge? I thought it was to make you look stupid. Besides, I’m too busy to actually earn a badge.”
“Don’t you mean getting busy?!”
“Getting busy is being busy. It’s all about goals, and mine is 5 lovers… but who am I kidding? I will never be happy. I’m an overachiever that way.”
Louise: “So Phil, I have a special graduation present just for you…”
Lisa: “OH no, come on sis. How can we be twins?”
“I donno, Lisa, you’re so NOT an Uglacy. Come on Phil, kiss me.”
“Cough cough, one second while I hack up my lung.”
“Great, he’s got the sim flu, and I have to kiss this germ infestation.”
You rolled the want. Although now you will probably get the flu and infect every guy on campus. Wonderful, nothing like having a sick romance sim who wants to bang everyone. This is how STDs start boys and girls.
Lover 5- Phil, who is potential uglacy material. But for now he is going in the sim bin, because he has officially graduated.
“Wow that was the best graduation present ever!”
“Woohoo, Hit my five lover goal and now on to 20.”
“Sis, can you please not run around in your underwear all day? And besides, we are almost Juniors. That could all change.”
“Wrong big brother. You see after our creator re-examined the Legacy college rules, I do not have to change my aspiration as a junior. That’s an option, not a requirement. So guess whose going to get 20 lovers??? Oh, and here’s a hint, it’s not you.”
Yes, so change of plans. Get Louise platinum by end of college, that way she won’t go all red when she has to start popping out Uglacy babies and doesn’t have a life. Because nothing sucks worse for a romance sim than Legacy living.
Lisa, on the other hand is my most difficult sim to keep in the green right now, probably because I make her do all the cleaning and homework assignments, just like the Cinderella she is. About to hit red, we call her girlfriend Kaylynn Bear over for a quick date and some aspiration points.
“Kaylynn, we have room now. Why don’t you pledge and move in with us? I feel so alone here.”
“Sure Lisa. That sounds great. I’d love to be used for your aspiration fodder.”
Speaking of using sims, Louise is on date with Richard Menon, the original zombie that crashed my sorority house several chapters ago. Richard went to a zombie rehab and finally stopped his brain eating ways. All the better so Louise can seduce him as lover #6.
Time for some romantic poetry… to interpret their date.
Although Richard no longer eats brains, Louise immediately realized that Richard’s insane.
Not that it stops her or slows her down. She wants to make out in front of the town.
Romance sims are so very uncouth. With no moral regard, they head for the booth.
The pictures they take are best left unseen, but woe the poor janitor who cleans up the scene.
With the shame icon of woohoo hearts still fresh over her head, Louise promptly picks the next victim to bed.
“Well hello there…”
When what to her wandering eyes should appear, but her hot Grandpa Goopy from past many years… NO NO NO. We ARE NOT going that Game of Thrones.
“But he’s the hottest sim in the room!”
“The great Goopy Gilsbaro. Wow. You are legendary. They don’t make sims like you anymore.”
“Well thank you kid. Thank you very much.”
OH no, the bachelors have arrived at the sorority house. Gage, Gage Jr., and Goopy. I feel like the romance sims are infesting my town faster than zombies.
And of course who else should show up but Heather Huffington. Uninvited! Are you kidding me?!
“Ohhh, hey, whose your cute uncle Louise?”
I’m sure Gage and Heather have already met… in some chapter somewhere.
“I am so honored to be in the presence of the great Gage Uglacy. I’m not worthy.”
Seriously Heather, you need to find another role model.
Our little greek house on Peanut Street is expanding…
Every house has it’s “I HATE YOUR GUTS” relationship. This one is Lisa and Bruce.
“Well yea! He’s such a ridiculous dork. Like look at him.”
Meanwhile Louise is busy getting busy again. This time with Count Holden.
“I heard you vampire dudes are all about a good time.”
“Vell ve do like our pleasure aspurrations.”
“Well, well, well. Who do we have here, but the little tramp who broke Ripp’s heart.”
“Er, hello General Grunt. Yea, that’s me, I deflowered poor Rip. Now can you get out of the way. We want to go dancing at the Crypt.”
“Yea,why don’t you make me.”
“Very vell, if you insist… you vant to let me suck your bluudh.”
“Wow… I never noticed what big fangs you have. You must have a great dental plan.”
“Yeah well you boys have fun, I’m going dancing. See you inside Count.”
“Slurp, gulp, ves, ves, I vill be dare in ah minute.”
Meanwhile I was smacking my head against the keyboard. I didn’t think vampires autonomously attacked downtown and the last thing I needed was a vampire General Grunt. UGH! Although, this could be hilarious.
“Sorry vear, I vas momentarily distracted. Now vhere vore veee.”
“No problem Count. Kind of glad you bit that idiot.”
“Oh, you svell delicious.”
“You’re not biting me are you?”
“Er… no… maybe… vust a vittle nibbling.”
“Wow, I can see with all new vampire eyes… and she is hawt! I see what my son saw now. Hubba, hubba.”
“Is that weirdo swooning over me?”
“Ignore him, vear. Time es vunning out, vet’s go vack to your vlace and I can suck your bluuud.. I vean vee can make sweet love.”
Oh so disappointing Count Holden. Only 500 aspiration points. Pffft. And I thought vampires were supposed to be great lovers.
Well they can’t all be Casa Novas. Time for a change of pace… A HALLOWEEN PARTY!
I do love to download for the holidays.
“Did someone say party!”
No party would be complete without this little zombie.
“Ladies, Gagemeister here, ready to full fill all your wishes. All you have to do is rub my bottle…”
Arrgh. Of course he shows up.
“Look, I even brought a friend. How about a little probing?”
“Um, normally I do the probing…”
“Wrong again. I’m the mad scientist here. I’m just going to grab your heart. Er, you do have a heart right?”
“Of course. It has ten chambers and its’ own condominium.”
“Guess who I am?!”
“Dang it! How could you tell?”
“Oh I don’t know. The camouflage eyes perhaps.”
“OH geesh Lisa! Will you stop beating up Bruce already?”
“Why Louise? Is he another of your lovers?”
“NO! You’re totally ruining the party score. Now he’s going to be running around whining at everyone.”
“Waaah, and then she beat me up.”
“Dude, get over it already. By the way, you’re dressed awesome for Halloween.”
“These are my regular clothes… waaaah. Nobody understands me.”
NO, no we don’t.
“Lisa, oh my darling but you have grown up.”
“ER yea, GRANDPA Goopy. Can you dial that thought bubble down.”
“Seriously, you need to get into SIM PE and make some adjustments. Having great uncle Gage and great grandpa Goopy hitting on me, is too much.”
Well it’s okay now. He’s hitting on your girlfriend, Kaylynn.
Oh look, slut sisters from another mother… isn’t that precious.
“Sure, sure, we always get the bad wrap. But where would sims be without the romance sim? Am I right guys? I mean fortune sims are so boring. And then you have knowledge sims, ugh. Who wants to see a sim study all day? And popularity sims reek of being utter annoying. Pleasure sims aren’t half bad, but family sims, they are just romance sims disguising their desires in ‘oh, I want ten babies’. Nobody wants ten brats, they just want to make the babies.”
“I completely agree, Heather. It’s us romance sims that make this game exciting.”
“We could run this show Goopy. Everyone should be our love slaves.”
“Well I did have a fan club once… It was almost like having love slaves, only they didn’t love me, and they wouldn’t do what I wanted them to.”
“Because they were everything but romance sims, Gage. Simselves are never romance sims. We should get one of those aspiration thingie bop things, and make everyone a romance sim.”
“Even the simselfs?”
“OH especially the simselfs. Can you imagine? It would be like one big sim orgy of love!”
We interrupt the romance sims evil plotting to bring you this, the Greek House is all set up to party for Halloween! Almost all these goodies can be found at Mod the Sims. Now let’s return to our party in progress.
Apparently Lisa was able to get Kaylynn away from Goopy, and really likes her Halloween costume. Kaylynn Bear is actually quite pretty without the plain Jane haircut.
While Shaun and Lindsey realized they had a two bolt connection.
“I never noticed that you were attractive until you covered your face in makeup.”
“Me either. Wow. There’s just something so sexy about clowns.”
“But I can’t hula.”
“You just wave your arms like this Heather.”
“OH my Gawd, it’s so complicated!”
Cause this is thriller, thriller night…and no one’s gonna save you, from the beast about to strike. You know it’s thriller, thriller night…
Heather: “OH boolprop! Now you guys are doing the zombie with Don?! Why do you guys have to do all the hard dances!”
“They aren’t hard Heather, you’re just mentally challenged.”
“Can’t we do the macarena?”
“Listen Louise, I’ve really been wanting to talk to you.”
“Ripp, you’re a nice boy and all, but you need to understand, I never wanted anything serious.”
“No, no. I totally get it. I’m a romance sim too.”
“WHAT?! You’ve got to be kidding.”
“Honest. In fact I’ve already rolled the want for 3 lovers and 10 make out sessions. So you see, you don’t need to avoid me at all. Well, except when you’re on a date or flirting because I will totally see that as cheating even though I really don’t care. Such a lame over-reaction built into the game.”
“I know, right?!”
“Well he may have forgiven you, but I haven’t.”
“Wow, I suddenly feel daggers staring into my back.”
“Your day of reckoning is coming.”
“Yea, okay Tank. By the way, you may want to stack up on some garlic necklaces the next time you go visit daddy-o.”
Where are you going Queen Tiffany?
“Visiting campus, I’m getting a pizza.”
But I just laid out a whole buffet for the party!
“Don’t care. I want pizza.”
“So I overheard you were thinking of taking over the world with romance sims?”
“No. ” *shifty eyes* “Whoever told you that?”
“Yea, ha, ha, like you could. Everyone knows us popularity sims rules. People would follow us, not you guys. That’s why we’re politicians, mayors, and generals and big wigs like that. Romance sims are nothing but play toys.”
“You’re our play toys bitch.”
“Nothing, I was just clearing my throat.”
“That’s weird. Wasn’t this ornament on the porch a minute ago? I could of sworn.”
Yeah, me too. That’s not creepy at all.
“Well let’s get you off the sidewalk, little guy.”
“Your mother sucks wieners in hell!”
“What, what was that?”
“Are you putting me in the cop car?”
“Uh, nooo. I’m the limousine police. Apparently I just happened to arrive when the cops were busting up your party.”
“But you are a cop?”
So the secret society finally comes back for Louise on Halloween, after she’s befriended a gazillion of them. A little late on the take.
Cop: Hmmm, that’s odd. It looks like he has handcuffs on her. Could he possibly be kidnapping her? Maybe I should look into it, of course that would mean interrupting my super important job of breaking up parties after midnight.
Well he does seem to be forcing her into that suspicious limo…
“Hello young man. Is everything okay? I couldn’t help but notice you shoving a handcuff woman into your car.”
“It’s um fine. She just dressed up as a victim for Halloween.”
“Oh well carry on then. What a nice young man. Silly me, thinking something was amiss. Must be those over-perceptive cop instincts of mine. I’m sure she’s fine.”
Yeah, I’m sure she’s just fine!
Happy Halloween everyone, and maybe next time I will actually get these kids to their graduation! Until then, keep on simming!