Chapter 9, Carnie Folks

Sims2EP9 2017-05-21 01-49-21-51Welcome one, welcome all, to a Sims 2 business you will not soon forget.  I know I won’t.   No matter how hard I try.   Never content to just have a simple business for my legacy family, I decide to go big or go home!  The Uglacies were becoming Carnies!!!  Which seemed like a fitting business for this family.  I went download crazy and downloaded whatever carnival crap I could get my hands on.  This beautiful carousel is made by crispsandkerosene found here:

Sims2EP9 2017-05-21 00-54-47-73Yes, Tiffany (the heir to be, or so I thought, get to that later) wanted 5 top 10 businesses. So Uglacy Land was born!  Kind of like a  glitched version of DisneyLand for sims.

Sims2EP9 2017-05-21 00-45-04-87There were bumper cars (by Echo at the Mod the Sims and at her site

Sims2EP9 2017-05-21 01-46-09-72A ferris wheel from Ilana Sims.

Sims2EP9 2017-05-21 02-01-01-75Bop the evil clown on the head… and that looks like it would actually damage your hand.  This disturbing game was also designed by Crisps and Kerosene Sims.

Sims2EP9 2017-05-21 02-01-57-36Cotton candy, popcorn stands, also by Crisps and Kerosene Sims.

Sims2EP9 2017-05-21 00-49-37-45Even a pie eating and hot dog eating contest table by Crisps and Kerosene.  I also have roller coaster capabilities per Echo at Mod the Sims, unfortunately, the Uglacies literally ran out of money and to be truthful, it was not a good business endeavor.  It turned out to be hugely painful, expensive, and a flop.

Sims2EP9 2017-05-21 00-52-10-12First of all, the townies seemed genuinely confused by the items.

“Popcorn?!  But what is this?”

Sims2EP9 2017-05-26 11-47-22-80Not that Tiffany couldn’t sell it.

“Come on Pazlo.  You’re preggers dude.  Surely you deserve some cotton candy to compensate for that alien PTSD you’re dealing with.”

“You’re right!  Fluffed sugar makes everything better!  I’ll take two.”

Sims2EP9 2017-05-21 00-50-54-00But the business pretty much sucked.  *crickets chirping*

“Do I still have to stand here?”

Yes, Lil White Comet.  Sadly you uploaded your simself to be tormented… and this is what happens when you play with strangers.

Sims2EP9 2017-05-26 11-57-20-00Not to mention the lot was twilight zone glitchy.

“How did I get up here?”

NO idea, because there are no stairs there anywhere.  The carnival had issues.  For one, none of the sims could autonomously ride the rides, and the bumper cars disappeared every time we left the lot. I figured out later that carnival items were not meant for Open for Business, and should only be used as a random community lot.  Or maybe a better sim player than me.

Guess I should read directions more. You know, those read it files I totally ignore when downloading content.  Well, let’s tune in to the legacy family already in progress.  We’ll get back to this train wreck of  a business decision later.

Sims2EP9 2017-05-25 23-39-42-36First of all, Wendy, the heir, spent way too much time on the energizer… and turned into an aging professor.

“GET me out of these clothes, now!”

Sims2EP9 2017-05-26 10-06-51-62Jihoon ages soon after, he tries to go all classy with a suit…

Sims2EP9 2017-05-27 23-30-30-58But I soon fix that.  Oh, and his skin matches his flamingo!

“You constantly leave us out here burning in the sun!  We’ve all got sunstroke trying to get your stupid wishing well from the garden club.”

Sims2EP9 2017-05-27 23-38-44-33I would  argue that point except I actually considered that Shaun of the Dead might really be Shaun of the Dead…  Thankfully, he was only passed out.  All day.

Sims2EP9 2017-05-21 22-17-52-05Meanwhile, Tiffany (the firstborn) was dating Tank Grunt whose General father loathes the Uglacies.  It was like Romeo and Juliet… sort of.

“Oh Tank, I’m so glad you decided to go bowling with me.”

Sims2EP9 2017-05-21 22-12-24-94“Cause I’m gonna kick your ass… booyah!”

“Oh baby, that’s good, but you know I got all these body points from running my old man’s obstacle course.  No way are you going to win.”

Sims2EP9 2017-05-21 22-13-41-86“Er, that was just a warm up shot.”

Yeah.  Sure.  She beat the snot out of him.  Better practice up on that obstacle course if you want to compete with an Uglacy.

Sims2EP9 2017-05-21 22-08-10-79Not that he seemed to mind.  Tank is apparently drawn to strong… mean, vicious women with no nice points.

Sims2EP9 2017-05-21 22-19-26-83“Move aside kiddies.  Let Glenda the good witch show you how it’s done.”

“OH my gosh, I didn’t know witches bowled?!”

“Yeah, we got a league.  We get together every Tuesday.”

Sims2EP9 2017-05-27 22-34-02-49Tiffany was my chosen heir without a doubt, until this picture.  The twins Louise and Lisa grew up, they both look too pretty to consider for heirship to an Uglacy… until you look closer.

Sims2EP9 2017-05-27 22-34-29-88Oh my gosh, how did I miss it before.  Why that is Gage Uglacy’s nose planted on that kid’s face.  And she’s a zombie!!!  Louise even follows in Uncle Gage’s foot steps by rolling romance… fantastic,  you little hussy.  Her lifetime want to have 20 simultaneous lovers… oh she will be re-rolling in college, but the fun until then.  Her secondary aspiration is pleasure… oh boy.  Her personality is 9 neat, 8 outgoing, 6 active, 4 playful, and 8 nice.  I think we have competition for the heir ship after all.

Sims2EP9 2017-05-27 22-34-46-95Lisa, on the other hand, has the makings of a Prettacy heir.  She rolls family, with a lifetime want to marry off 6 kids.  Her secondary aspiration is popularity.  She’s mean… typical prettacy material.  Her personality is 10 neat, 3 outgoing, 10 active, 4 playful, and 2 nice.

Sims2EP9 2017-05-26 11-12-59-41“That’s right mirror, mirror on the wall.  I am the prettiest one by far.”

Lisa is very, very vain.  She loves mirrors.  I constantly have to pull her away from them. How ironic.  Or predictable.

Sims2EP9 2017-05-27 20-26-30-86“Hey sister, get a picture of me.  Look at my goldfish lips.  I’m so hawt.  And you’re not.”

EEe gads, look at all that homework,  only one thing to do.

Sims2EP9 2017-05-27 19-57-37-13“This is so unfair!  Why do I have to do everyone’s homework!”

Because you’re the pretty one, Lisa.  And as the Cinderella spare, that’s your job.

Sims2EP9 2017-02-20 00-22-39-02Peppy died, and unfortunately, I did not even notice.  In fact there was no urn anywhere, and I looked for days.  And I have yet to see his ghost.  Not sure if it all glitched or what.   But Teddy howled and howled… so at least someone missed him.

Sims2EP9 2017-05-28 00-48-01-98In addition, Lulu and Ketchup kept up the pet handicap, and Lulu gave birth outside in the rain to two puppies.  Who she left in the pouring rain.

Sims2EP9 2017-05-28 00-55-16-94While she was all snug and nestled in a nice warm house.  Great puppy parenting there.

Sims2EP9 2017-05-28 00-50-39-36Fortunately, Louise rescued Sugar and Spice and brought them indoors.

Sims2EP9 2017-05-28 00-59-40-85Where Teddy and Ketchup made up for their sucky mom.  Now we have five dogs.  Love the family breed handicap (NEVER doing that one again for one measly point!).

Sims2EP9 2017-05-28 11-50-02-57And finally after years and years of literally gardening and begging that stuck up club to let us in…

Sims2EP9 2017-05-25 20-59-02-24Victory is ours!  The wishing well!

“I wish I may, I wish I might, have lots of friends to use tonight!”

Sims2EP9 2017-05-25 20-59-48-35“Your will is our command.”

“Oh wow.  This is much creepier than I imagined.”

Shaun, being a pleasure sim with a want for 50 first dates, waste no time making good use of the well to nab a first kiss.  Apparently he gets a Geisha girl.

Sims2EP9 2017-05-28 11-59-45-41Which seems to be a trend with this well.

“I see.  International dating.  Okay, then.”

Sims2EP9 2017-05-26 11-38-55-14Meanwhile, it seems fitting to catch the twins up on helping with the family business.  But all they want to do is play red hands.

“Well it’s boring here.”

“Yeah,   No one ever shows up on this lot.  It’s dead.”

Sims2EP9 2017-05-26 11-41-02-28“I know, let’s eat all the profits.”

Wait, hey, I didn’t tell you to do that… grrr.  I am going to turn your free will off.  I mean it!  Back away from the goodies!

Sims2EP9 2017-05-26 11-56-11-81“Debbie, so glad you could make it.”

“Well you forced me to come over here after you forced me to be your friend with the wishing well and…”

“Sssh, sssh, shh.  What does it matter?  Come in and see the carnival.”

“OH cool, can I ride rides?”

“Er, no, they are all broken.”

“Can I play games?”

“Well technically yea, but watch the spiked clowns, a townie lost his hand last week.”

“Erm, can I buy cotton candy?”

“If my sisters haven’t eaten it all.”

Sims2EP9 2017-05-26 12-17-12-41

Yay, our first level 10 business.  It’s a miracle!  Really… it is.

Sims2EP9 2017-05-27 22-39-27-77“Hey Louise, it’s summer.  Let’s go hang out at the pool, steal some more drinks from the bar, and smustle all night long.”

“Sorry Mehrissa.  I can’t do anything anymore.  Someone realized I’m ugly and wants me to catch up on my skilling.”

“Oh bummer man.  Sucks to be you.  Guess I’ll go hang out with your dad.”

Sims2EP9 2017-05-27 22-47-07-20“Gee Mr. Uglacy.  This seems inappropriate.”

Yea, Jihoon, way to watch porn with the neighborhood teenagers.

“ITS a HORROR show.”

Sure, sure…  whatever you say.

Sims2EP9 2017-05-25 23-35-25-60“Johnny, so nice of you to come to dinner.”

“Yea, well I wasn’t sure it was a good idea.  Rumor is you’re going steady with Tank.”

“I’m not that committed.  I actually have two bolts for you too.”

Sims2EP9 2017-05-25 23-50-42-98“Really?  That’s awesome Tiffany.  Because I’ve had the hots for you ever since we met at the carnival and you forced me to buy popcorn.”

“OH noo, no, no.  Not Johnny too!  Why can’t she see me, Buck?  I’m the one she should be with.  Not my brother Tank, and certainly not that pollinator kid!”

Sims2EP9 2017-05-25 23-55-19-59Wendy:  “Oh hi Buck, over here for dinner again.”

Buck:  “Mrs. Uglacy, I can’t look.  Tiffany is… is with that Johnny kid.”

Wendy:  “Er,  okay.  Want to play some pool, Buck?  I got a great trick shot.”

Buck:  “Don’t you understand.  My heart is breaking.”

Wendy:  “I think we have some lemonade for that.  Wait, that’s for heatstroke.  Never mind.  You’re shit out of luck, kid.”

Sims2EP9 2017-05-26 00-05-12-89“Mfff, you’re so fine, Tiffany.”

“Oh Johnny.”  *Insert uncomfortable kissy noises.

Sims2EP9 2017-05-26 00-00-37-66“HOW DARE YOU TIFFANY!”

“Ouch, Buck.  What’s your problem.  Is it because I cheated on Tank?”

“Er… yes.  Exactly.  With his arched nemesis no less.  You refuse to see my, I mean his love for you!”

Sims2EP9 2017-05-27 23-37-47-29“Sister, talk to me!  Oh my boolprop, what has she done to you?”

“Must be heir… zzzz.”

Sims2EP9 2017-05-26 10-47-50-44Meanwhile, down at the Zombie Pothead Shoppe, Shaun does his duty as a spare.

“Must get stars… mffft.”

Sims2EP9 2017-05-26 10-50-15-56“Wait Shaun, I need to breath.  How many more stars do you need till level 10?”


“OH wow.  Ok, gimme me a minute.”

Sims2EP9 2017-05-26 10-54-14-19“Good job Kid, keep it up.”

“OH for goodness sake, Gage.”

“What Don, he needed business advice, I gave it to him.”

Sims2EP9 2017-05-27 23-46-37-62“Nose!  It’s so good to see you.”

“Wendy!  I would say you haven’t aged a bit, but er, that would be a lie.”

“Well you haven’t.”

“That’s because I’m a spare baby, no one plays me.”

Sims2EP9 2017-05-28 00-00-16-21“Uncle Nose!  I’ve so much to tell you.  Apparently I’m in the running for heir now.”

“OH Louise, I am so sorry.  That’s a bad break.”

“All I do is skill now!  It totally sucks.”

Sims2EP9 2017-05-28 01-05-22-02OH geesh, not this Phil kid again.  He won’t go away.  He is worse than Marsha Bruening and he has the hots for every Uglacy girl, like he wants in the family or something.  Every chapter has to have a creepy stalker.

Sims2EP9 2017-05-28 11-09-49-55“Hear you might be heir, Louise.  Oh baby, have I told you how hot you are.  Sizzle, sizzle.”

Sims2EP9 2017-05-28 11-12-50-84“Fine.  I’m a romance sim, Phil.  I’ll use you for aspirational fodder.”

“Hey, I’m okay with that.  Use away.”

Sims2EP9 2017-05-28 11-15-30-40“Did I mention this might be painful?”

“Er, is this like a  bad scene from Ghost?  I think I’m caught on your pottery machine.”

Sims2EP9 2017-05-28 11-21-56-20“Phil, I know my sister Louise is a romance sim.   But I’m family, and I want to flirt with you and…”

“Sorry Lisa, but you’re spare material.  I’m looking to be part of this family.  I am ugly after all.”

“Phil, I hate to break the news.  You’re not ugly enough.  We have standards.”

Sims2EP9 2017-05-28 12-18-47-36“That’s it, this chapter is definitely going to take more booze to get through.”

Sims2EP9 2017-05-28 22-42-32-18“We are three wild and crazy guys.’

YAy, an outing of ugly men.  I feel like Louise hit the ugly trifecta.

Sims2EP9 2017-05-28 22-42-46-63We even have a grand prize.

Sims2EP9 2017-05-28 22-50-44-45“Erm, since when is Mr. Big a vampire?”

Great.  First I had rogue zombies, now I have rogue vampires.  Did this game not get the message… THIS IS NOT AN APOCALPYSE!  Gads, I just want a simple sims game.  Is that too much to ask?

Sims2EP9 2017-05-25 23-00-26-19“So I hear your little sister Louise is up for heir.”

“What?  That’s ridiculous.  I am obviously the ugliest Uglacy child.  Plus I’m being groomed.  I have several talent badges and own all the Uglacy businesses.”

Sims2EP9 2017-05-25 23-01-09-67“You’re obviously mistaken, Marion.  I’m the one all the attention is centered on.”

“I heard Louise was out on an outing the other day,  making lots of friends.  What does a potential spare need with friends?”

Sims2EP9 2017-05-28 11-08-39-85“Hmmf, I’ll tell you about spares.  You know you’re a spare when they make you fish for useless crap.”

Sims2EP9 2017-05-25 23-10-31-20“Mr. Bear wants to say a special goodbye to you.”

“Marion get that damn bear away from me.  I’ve told you that before to stay on your medications.  Geesh, who talks through a bear, weirdo.”

Sims2EP9 2017-05-25 23-13-19-37“No, no, no, the voices don’t like it when Mr. Bear goes away…”

Sims2EP9 2017-05-27 21-41-19-58“Tiffany, you’re up early.”

“Off to college mom.  Important for heirs to stay ahead of everyone.”

“Oh, okay, dear.  Well see you in a few years then.”

Sims2EP9 2017-05-28 23-34-16-35“Bleh!”

Don’t tell me Mr. Big Vampire bit you.

“Nah, I drank a boot!”

Sims2EP9 2017-05-29 00-01-57-93“Sis, do you really think you’re going to win this.  Tiffany’s been groomed for this for years.”

“So I’m  a long shot.  I’ve got most of my skills now.  It could happen.”

Sims2EP9 2017-05-29 00-12-00-71“If I have to drink one more glass of eggplant juice…”

NOPE. You’re there!  Top of all your skills!  Time for college!

Sims2EP9 2017-05-30 21-07-30-85And so the Uglacy kids were off to Sim State,  nice riding outfit Tiffany.  Tally ho!

“Hardy ha ha.”

Sims2EP9 2017-05-30 21-59-16-12Immediately we have a crisis.  For this is no ordinary zombie.  No, no.  I downloaded a mod in my game when I was playing the apocalypse that allowed for brain eating zombies, so this is no Don the zombie.  He’s dangerous and could really mess up one of my potential heirs.  I hoped he was just passing through.

Sims2EP9 2017-05-30 22-01-34-19No such luck.  Of course he moves into their dorm.  A brain eating zombie.  I wonder what he plans to major in.


Neurology.  Makes sense.  This time though, I went into my downloads folder and found the mod.  Hopefully the threat was eliminated.

Sims2EP9 2017-05-30 22-43-11-55“Hi everyone, before we sign off, I just want to say, I’m Tiffany, and I should be heir, because obviously I am the ugliest.  Also I am a neat freak (10 pts.), a bit shy (3 pts.), really active (9 pts.), very playful (9 pts.) and mean as shit (3 pts).  If my charming personality didn’t convince you, I’m a fortune sim with a lifetime want to own 5 top ten businesses.   My secondary aspiration is romance.  I want to get to the top, and I might sleep with others to do that.”

Sims2EP9 2017-05-30 22-40-19-64“Wrong.  I’m Shaun, and I should be heir.”

“Er what’s wrong with your eye dude?”

“Exactly… So I am a pleasure sim with a lifetime want for 50 first dates.  I fairly neat (6 pts), a little shy (3 pts) , somewhat active (6 pts), kind of serious (3 playful pts), and super nice (10 pts.).   My secondary aspiration is family.  I’m a nice guy.  Who just wants to play the field first.  And it’s been said I look like Grandpa Don… that should make me heir alone.”

Sims2EP9 2017-05-30 22-47-30-70“I’m Lisa, and I’m too pretty for this legacy, so there’s probably no point in rattling off my statistics, but because I like talking about myself, I’m a family sim with a secondary aspiration of popularity.  I want to marry 6 brats off.  I’m a neat freak (10 pts.), somewhat shy (3 pts.), overly active (10 pts.),  semi-serious (4 pts. playful), and not so nice (2 pts).”

Sims2EP9 2017-05-30 22-42-03-77“I’m Louise, and I grew up in this uni-brow all by myself because that’s how bad I want to win this.  At first, I didn’t appear that unique, until I got older.  I’m becoming more of an Uglacy with every birthday.  I’m neat enough (6 pts.), outgoing (8 pts)., active (6 pts.), somewhat serious (4 pts)., and super nice (8 pts.).  I love to love (romance) and want to be a shameless hussy and have 20 lovers at the same time.  My second aspiration is pleasure.  Plus, I’ve got zombie skin.  I had to play that card.”

Well looks like we are going to have a heir poll.  You got two choices.  Vote here through a comment (I’ll count em up) or at at my special heir poll at

Let me know who you think should carry on the Uglacy legacy.  Till next time, happy simming!