Welcome back to the Uglacies, a legacy that was nearly trashed. When last I tried to go into their home the lot was corrupted. Ugh. But I figured out some downloaded CC was the culprit. I have not figured out exactly which one is the culprit, but I am working on it. In the meantime, I got the household up and working again. Yay me. So let’s dive in. Here is Louise, our current heir to the throne. Still a romance sim, but now satisfied with 20 lovers, she can focus on more important tasks like dumping the trash. Being heir is a glamorous job after all.
“Who said I was satisfied? Have you read my want panel lately?”
Little Seth appeared at the end of my last chapter. Now I wanted to make fun of Bruce’s parenting because he frankly reeks of loser… but alas, Bruce proved me wrong.
“Weee. I love babies. Behold my platinum plumbob!”
OH WOW! Are those aspiration points?! Why I don’t think I’ve seen those in an Uglacy interacting with their own child since Don was around.
“Bruce, can grandma hold the baby for a while? I’m a family sim too.”
“No buzz off. Get your own kid.”
With three family sims in the house, there is a constant fight for the baby.
“Fine, Jihoon and I will just make out then.”
“Please, not in front of my baby. So not cool. And you guys call yourself family sims?!”
“How do you think we got to be family sims, kiss me baby.”
“PUKE! This is the 5th time I have told you to get in the fricking tub! You smell like… well puke.”
Yes, the dogs are still here, in case you were wondering. Like a plague of pain.
“I could be doing other things, like the neighbors for example. But nooo, I have to wash the dog.”
“Oh Jihoon, you are so cute.”
“Wendy, my darling bride…”
Geesh guys, get a room, or better yet… GARDEN! They won’t keep their hands off each other.
“Oh and some poor plants have to live in the city, with all that yucky pollution… but not my precious tomato plants. Talk to momma. Thrive my babies, thrive.”
The only thing that needs more attention than pets and babies… plants. Gardening, second biggest pain in ass next to pets. All day they are out there and the gardener doesn’t leave till midnight. Not that she does much more then water everything that being watered by the sprinkler and creates more weeds for the Uglacies. Ongoing nightmare of botany.
“Bowl head kid from high school that was my first kiss.”
“Louise, you got boobs!”
As if this guy’s appearance could get any worse. Whoops, it did.
“Woah I like it. I look good in prostitute red.”
“Yeah, yea, and the purple makes your eyes pop.”
“Do you think I could get a downloaded haircut?”
“Sorry kiddo, we don’t waste those haircuts on townies.”
Meanwhile, down at Angel’s Flower Shop…talk about a “hard sell”…
“Look lady, back off, your lack of eyebrows and makeup is scaring me.”
Believe it or not this is Tiffany Uglacy, who we hired to manage Angel’s Flowers, but whenever she changes into a uniform, she instantly loses her eyebrows and make up, and she gets a new face.
Yea, that’s disturbing, but I have no idea how to fix it.
Not that it stops us from getting the Best of the Best award…
“Wow, I bet she is the best of the best from what I hear.” *drrrooool*
Buzz off creep-o, she already has an ugly spouse. Maybe next chapter.
Zombie Potheads is a rank 10 business now as well. We sell pottery folks, please. This is a G-rated game. I haven’t even taken the blur censors off. Mainly because I don’t want to see the Uglacies naked, but I like pretend I have standards.
“Grandma Samara, what an honor it is to dazzle you with my salesman ability.”
“Do you have black roses, preferably dead. I want to surprise Don.”
I think Louise looks a lot like her grandma Samara, kind of a throwback, and Samara seems to like her a lot too. More then she did her own kids, but then Samara liked anyone more then she did her own kids.
“Darling, let me talk to you for 5 hours straight about business perks and you won’t get more then a quarter way completed… even if it is Fall. Blah blah blah, timecards, blah blah blah, motivation, blah, blah, blah…”
OH SCREW THIS. She will just get her business perks the old fashion way, having a business!
We buy the corner shop in Blue Water. It looks like a store, but we can rearrange it to a beauty shop. Ignore the crappy picture, and the fact that Louise wants to woohoo 5 service sims and “befriend” 3 guys in town.
Who cares if Louise only has a bronze badge and hasn’t earned her cosmetology license.
“How about a free haircut?!”
“Sounds great!”
“I just need you to sign this release of liability form first, minor details of course. You know, like all your hair falling out, going blind from chemicals reactions, me cutting off an ear…no biggie.”
Yup free haircuts. You get what you paid for. We call this style El Choppo.
Back at home it’s time for a birthday… OH boy are you as excited as I am? Don comes to all our parties because well, they rock if he’s there.
*sigh* Uglacies are so much harder than Prettacies. I know, I’ve done both. Seth is okay looking. A little weird in the mouth, but no where near true ugly. Even Jihoon and Lisa look away, obviously disappointed. Gads, more baby making in the near future.
“Waah, the mean lady says I’m not ugly enough.”
“There, there, Seth. You’re ugly enough for Nana.”
Have I mentioned that Bruce and Shaun have some kind of hate fest going on since college?
“HOW dare you come to my son’s birthday party you loser.”
“I don’t know what my sister sees in you, Bruce. You can’t even make ugly kids.”
The one thing I do right in my legacies… parties. I think I should get a point for every roof raiser, all I have to do is stick Don and a bottle of champagne at the party.
Time to get that lazy good for nothing doing something. Bruce rolled a want to plant seeds… you go Johnny Appleseed.
“I wanted to plant one seed. I didn’t say I wanted to be out here weeding all flipping day!”
I aim to make my sims happy.
We interrupt this legacy in progress to bring you a word from our sponsors…
“WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?! I know WordPress has been adding advertisements, but Gage?! And what is he selling? It better NOT be some escort service. He’s got some explaining to do! Just as soon as I wash my eyes out with soap!”
“Okay Gage, Fess up. What the boolprop is going on? There I was writing my legacy, minding my own business, and suddenly this ad pops up. Mojo?! What is Mojo? Are you doing what I think you’re doing?! Cause I might get a little risque and cuss a bit, but I tend to keep my legacy clean, and I’ll have none of that…”
“Baby, woah, you got me all wrong. Don’t you know how classy the Gagemeister is by now.”
“That’s the problem, I do. Gage, I’m getting a migraine from all this animal print. Classy and you do not go in the same sentence. Hey, Gage, eyes up here.”
“Sorry darling, but that is a low cut sweater. So yea, I just decided it’s been kind of boring with the lack of simselfs, and I needed to branch out. It was selfish of me to keep all my mojo to myself. The ad says it all.”
“Gage, it’s a weird black and white ad of you in your underwear advertising one word, it makes no sense… oh… oh wait, it’s a cologne ad, isn’t it. Either that or a condom ad.”
“No, baby you got it right, it’s a cologne. But it wasn’t easy extracting my Mojo for a cologne.”
“Really? Tell me it was painful. That would make my day.”
“Nope, it wasn’t painful. It’s just my mojo is special, and it took a special kind of magic. It all started a few days ago…”
“Michelle came over. It’s been so long since I had a simself that appreciated my irresistible good looks and charms. But that Michelle has taste.”
“Michelle Young? She writes the Alphabetepic Apocalypse, Xtreme Xavier Apocalypse, GageNation and she downloaded you recently. Oh dear, I should have seen the signs. She was visiting you way too much, and boy did she like your hot tub. I just never see it, because I don’t get the attraction at all.”
“Well there’s no cure for Gage fever, baby. Except for a big old dose of Gage. So she showed up here, with a special fan shirt she had made just for me. And you know me, I can’t resist those pretty simself ladies… she asked me what my secret was, and I told her.”
“Mojo, baby. It’s all in my mojo.”
“And that’s when I had an idea!”
“HAHAHA, you had an idea, good one Gage. You’ve never had an idea in your life, unless it involved a sim self and a hot tub.”
“HEY, I’ll have you know I am very intellectual. I’m not all just good looks you know. Anyway, I had an idea…”
“Michelle, if I could harness my mojo, and market it, I’d make millions!”
“Yes, Gage, yes, I can see it all now!”
“Aww but it’s all a pipe dream, darling. No one can harness the power of Gage.”
*POOF & insert theme music from Bewitched. “Actually Gage, I think I can.”
“Woah, you’re a witch!”
“Yes, that’s right, Captain Obvious.”
“So are you a good witch, or a bad witch?”
“Let’s just say I’m a good witch who can be bad… hee hee.”
“Now stand very, very still.”
“Er, this isn’t going to hurt is it… and don’t zap off any of the Gagemeister’s mojo making parts, if you know what I mean, witchy-poo. We might need those for later.”
“Let’s see, Mojo cologne. I need a little eye of newt, salamander tail, oh and corn syrup. Geesh that crap’s in everything now days. Well that’s okay, because we all know boys and girls that corn syrup is made from wholesome GMO corn, and it’s good for you.”
“It worked, Gage, and it smells a little like Old Spice, 3 day socks, and cotton candy. I think that was the corn syrup. So what do you want to do now?”
“Hmm. I have another idea.”
“OKAY, OKAY. That’s enough Gage. I get the picture. So that’s it? You two concocted some essence from you… that I don’t even want to know where that secretion came from, and made a cologne?”
“Yea, Baby. Want to sniff it?”
“Absolutely fricking not. I don’t know about this, it sounds like a plan that could go very, very bad.”
“Come on baby, don’t micro manage me like that. Didn’t I help you with Don when he was all ticked off at you?”
“Well that’s true. But I donno.”
“I just want to have a little downtown business, sell some cologne, impress the ladies. Pleeasseee… pretty please?”
“Okay, fine, fine. But this better not come back to bite me in the ass.”
“It won’t, it won’t. Well I can, if you want me to…”
“GAGE! I mean it. And keep those advertisements to a minimum. And shorts on mister. I better not have any nude pics of you popping up on my legacy.”
“Sheesh, give me some credit. It would drive the ladies wild if I gave a full frontal. Plus you still have that stupid blur censor on… and there isn’t enough blur…”
“UGH, I’m leaving. Not talking about this. Which reminds me, I’m moving out. I need my own space now, and this bachelor pad is becoming a bit much. I need to focus on my legacy writing.”
“Sure, sure, sweetheart. I understand. Hard to hold yourself back from me. I get it.”
“So Wendy, we’ve been married 50 years now. Can you tell me the family secret of Don’s chili?”
“Well I could Jihoon, but then I would have to kill you.”
“Heh, heh, that’s a joke right… Wendy?”
Uh oh, Baboon don’t look now…
“It’s Jihoon. Are you ever going to get my name right sometime in my lifetime?!”
I highly doubt it at this point.
“Ahem. Jihoon Uglacy, you have lived a very good life… well sort of, as good as it gets for legacy sims, and we’ve come to take you to that happy sim place in the sky.”
“Here is your complimentary Pina Colada and the Bella twins will now exhibit their side boob show.”
Seriously, those coconuts don’t cover much.
Woah. Way to leave Lisa out of the will. Talk about a forgotten spare.
“WAAAH. I can’t believe he’s gone!My sweet, sweet monkey man.”
Wendy took it very hard. She actually loved her hubby. She soon got to the point of losing her sanity.
“I will scrub the dirt until it is clean enough to sparkle for his grave.”
Just when you think you’ve seen every sims 2 interaction there is, the game gives you new material.
“Hey mom, I came over to check on the dogs. Hey Lulu and Puke! Are you guys feeding them?”
“Sure, at least once a week, Lisa. By the way, dad died, but he didn’t leave you shit.”
😦 True story-all the dogs love Lisa. She was the only one who paid any attention to them.
In other news, Puke nearly died. He liked laying in the big windows, and unfortunately became stuck there and nearly died from starvation. I had to use reset… *gasp**
Are the glitches returning as we spiral into the fifth generation and are half way there. Only time will tell.
And Bruce takes a job in the slacker profession just to get this “Special plant” nursery.
“Grow, my little bubble plants, grow…”
Then Bailey the White Wolf came by and kicked Puke’s butt. Then had to brag non-stop.
“Yea, and my brother is Ghost on Game of Thrones…”
Aw time for another birthday… gone horribly wrong. It started nicely, all the Uglacies had come over to see little Seth grow up.
“Wow, I grew up awesome! This is the best birthday party ever!”
And that was when the Grim Reaper came through the wall and cut grandma in half.
“Really Grim, you couldn’t wait till my grandson’s birthday party was over?”
“Death waits for no one Mrs. Uglacy. Besides, sometimes people give me cake.”
“NOoo, please Mr. Grim Reaper, don’t take my grammy.”
“Sorry kid. Happy Birthday by the way.”
Seriously? I would have though grandma dying in the middle of the party would have dampened the festivities a little bit.
Seth immediately gets a makeover fitting to a crazy scientist nerdy smart look that was his namesake. (Seth was named for Seth the scientist on The Fly). Seth is a Sagittarius, 4/4/9/7/1. Basically a hyperactive, playful asshole.
Not content with just grandma’s death at the party, Shaun immediately latches on to Annabella and tries to kill her, by loving her to death.
“Oh my little niece, I am going to love you and hold you forever and ever.”
“WAAAAH, I need food and I’ve crapped myself!”
“Hey sis, I think this one’s broken. It doesn’t stop crying.”
“Oh you have to feed them these things called bottles.”
“Mommy, save me.”
“Shaun, hand me the baby and back away.”
“No! I want to stand here and watch your child starve in a diaper of her own filth while holding her lovingly.”
Finally Shaun gives up and throws his niece on the floor. Where she apparently was melting into the carpeting.
“FOR the LOVE of GOD, somebody feed me.”
Meanwhile, in the dining room…
“OH my little nephew Chucky, you are so cute. Why do you smell like that. Let Aunt Tiffany hold you so no one else can have you, or feed you, or change your diaper. But don’t worry, I’ll let go of you when the social worker gets here.”
But finally Louise was able to rip Chucky from Aunt Tiffany’s arms so yet another birthday could happen.
“Oh yay, yet another birthday.”
“Screw it, I just want cake.”
WHAT?! He didn’t even grow up and you threw him down to eat cake?
“I’m hungry, so sue me.”
WOULD SOMEONE GROW UP THOSE BABIES ALREADY!
“I just found Annabelle on the floor back there. It’s not our fault we had to wrestle these kids from their overly involved Aunt and Uncle. Man, I should be woohooing right now.”
Finally both kids were grown up and surprisingly survived. Lets talk Stats.
Chucky-4 Neat, 8 Outgoing, 4 Active, 7 playful, and 6 Nice. He’s nice, didn’t see that one coming.
Annabelle-4 Neat, 4 Outgoing, 9 Active, 7 Playful, and 1 nice. A mean little girl with ADHD. I see lots of moaning and groaning about fun, fun, fun, in her future.
Lacey and Larry are still alive too, in case anyone is wondering. I figured out their stats, They are both geniuses, medium active, friendly, cowardly, and medium finicky. And green. In case you couldn’t tell.
Larry will likely be our heir, as that is the only puppy the Uglacies roll wants to play with. Poor Lacey is completely neglected.
Now I’d like to say that Louise is a crappy, typical romance sim parent, but I would be lying. She actually rolls occasional wants for her children… *gasp* I know, right! Like teaching Annabelle to walk.
“Well the sooner she can walk, the sooner she can get her own food and make her way to the potty by herself!”
“Yawn, my work here is done.”
Sure, whatever you have to tell yourself, Louise. I see you snuggling with Chucky.
“Well Romance sims need their social, and since you’re not letting me screw half the town anymore, I need an occasional hug.”
“HEY, excuse me, but who is the real family sim here.”
Gads, I just realized he is dressed to match his car. Well with all this downloaded clothing, I am at least getting the well dressed handicap down easily. My sims get new wardrobes on a constant basis.
Speaking of handicaps, time to work on the Storytelling one. Louise writes her best selling Novel, “Memoirs of A Romance Sim.”
“Well it would have to be memoirs, since I don’t get any real action anymore.”
Louise you are sitting there with a baby bump, obviously you are getting some action.
And Bruce decides to study Anger Management…
“How to be zen when you are really pissed off.”
That’s good Bruce. Maybe you can stop hating on Shaun now.
“YAY, I got an A+! I am going to be the best scientist ever! Just you wait and see!”
“DADDY, look I got an A+ on my paper about the displacement of molecules and molecular travel!”
“WOW son, that is awesome, let’s go have a snowball fight!”
“INCOMING, dad!”
*SMACK*
“Owww, you little &^$#@”
“Heh, heh, just kidding son. I mean what an arm you have on you. My anger management class has really paid off. I should be furious with you right now, but kids will be kids. Aren’t you just precious.”
“Sorry dad, I added a few rocks to that snowball. Why don’t you toss it back and this time I can try broken glass instead.”
“Why you fricking little… grrr, precious little asshole you.”
“It was horrible. They just held us and held us, and we were starving and covered in our own poo. I mean what kind of Aunt and Uncle do that?!”
“Listen kid, Evil Jack knows shit. So you gotta be prepared, see. You need a weapon, shank their asses when they try to pick you up again.”
Chucky: “Is there anything sharp in here I can use for a weapon.”
Annabelle: “Not really, let me sharpen this block with my teeth.”
“Hey kids, look who came to visit, Uncle Shaun… Aaaah, who tripped me down the stairs, I’m faaaalllling. OH kids, look Uncle Shaun has had a bad accident. I wonder how that happened.”
“Aaaaahhhhh, Daddy you’re swinging me too hard!”
“Am I you little joy from the depths of hell?!”
“Larry, you are the cutest puppy ever! I can’t help rolling wants to interact with you.”
“Durr, Larry wants Scooby snacks.”
“Nobody loves me.”
Poor Lacey. Don’t you worry girl, we will get you the best home ever.
Trust me, being the favorite puppy isn’t all its cracked up to be.
“Arrgh, cough, cough, can’t breathe.”
Wendy, you are officially the best ghost ever!
“Well this shower is filthy!”
“Hello Seth. We at the Academy of Dance want to tell you we admire your commitment to mastering the art.”
“Er ok lady. Thanks for breaking into my house to tell me that.”
“Tell me this is it!”
Ok, ok fine. But I need an ugly kid, a really ugly kid. And zombie skins, I want one more zombie… fingers crossed… rabbit foot out, eating lucky charms…
“Screw you, here’s another normal kiddo.”
Fine, whatever, the house can’t take any more sims or puppies right now. This is it. Meet Tina, named for the Talking Tina doll on the Twilight Zone, a very creepy old episode. Let’s hope Tina gives us some scary genetics.
*sigh* I guess it’s not that bad, at least he has his shorts on and the lights are dim.
“See you next time my pretties.”
“You are so hot as a witch. I love a lady of magic.”
“OH Gage, you make me blush.”
OK ending this here. Quickly. Tune in next time, and until then, happy simming!
“Geesh, when is this loser ever going to update…”
The founding couple of our legacy was Angel Uglacy, an actual granddaughter of Don Zombie, and daughter of Zip the Zombie… who goes back years ago and this family’s legacy would take a whole story in itself, so let’s keep it simple. She is on a quest to bring back the ugly to the Uglacy, so she marries Quinton from her college day, or as I liked to call him, Quinomei in honor of his Uncle Komei.
They had two children, Nosferatu and Wendy. Nose is named after the original vampire that was in some old black and white movie from 1800, or something like that. Wendy is named for the wife of Jack Torrance in the Shining. My naming theme… horror movies of course! Nose becomes a vampire, and Wendy becomes heir.
Wendy marries her college boyfriend Jihoon, or as I liked to call him Baboon… and they have four children…
Tiffany, the oldest and in the front hogging the picture is named for Chucky’s girlfriend. Shaun, the only boy, is named for Shaun of the Dead. The twins Lisa and Louise, Louise being the zombie, are named for the twins off the Shining.
Louise wins the heir ship for her awesome good looks. She is a romance sim with a want for 20 lovers, a chip off the old block of Gage Uglacy.
Now this legacy would not be complete without mentioning the mini legacy happening in the background… The Uglacy’s dogs. Without a doubt the Family Breed is the most difficult handicap I am playing. Pinstar says it’s technically not a handicap but you should literally get at least 10 extra points and a brand new car for this fiasco. Meet Pierre, our doggy founder. Why I started with such an asshole dog I will never know.
Peppy was then with Teddy (we were adopting dogs to add in).
Teddy had two puppies Mustard and Ketchup.
And Mustard bred with a black lab named Lulu, who had Sugar and Spice. Which leads us to our current heir dog, Sugar. Spice was given to Lisa, a spare dog for a spare sim. See, the dogs are more complicated then the actual family. Whew, I can barely keep track of this crap. So onwards…
Now back to our current story in progress. The little Greek house on Peanut street has grown. It’s a bit dismal, but at least it’s not all pepto bismol pink like Heather Huffington’s house down the block.
“OH my gosh, you’re actually back. We thought you died.”
On top of that, I suspect Louise and Heather Huffington may have done some college porn…
But I don’t think Louise will have a gold badge in cosmetology any time soon. I should add a disclaimer here that if you actually are reading this because you want to see awesome legacy playing, you’ve picked the wrong story. IF you’re amused by watching another player bumble everything worse then you ever could, well enjoy!
“Oh my Bruce, I never noticed how tight your elastic suit was.”
Unfortunately the woohoo hearts gave it away. No life of a romance sim would be complete without…drama.
“OH noo, no, no, no, you’re with that sleeze Louise! How could you break my heart like this Bruce?”
“HOW dare you cheat with anyone else but me, Bruce!”
Bruce, obliviously, “Woah, that Louise…she is so hawt.”
After all that excitement, FINALLY… Louise graduates. Note the artistic use of grilled cheese in this graduation portrait.
“Lets Rock and Roll. Still waiting on platinum…”
Of course the spares graduated too. First was Tiffany.
Then Lisa, who Kaylynn did not look happy about.
And lastly, Shaun. It was time to leave college behind… yay, these were the longest semesters ever!
“Mom, it’s good to be home.”
“So mom, let me show you my cosmetology skills. How about a new haircut, you’ve been wearing that since you went to college.”
“Look mom! You look great! It’s a young haircut!”
In the meantime,
Time for some loving.
And he’s ugly! Bonus Points!
Geez, this is almost too easy. I should feel bad. One interaction, three bolt chemistry, and instantly falling in love.
Well maybe I feel a little bad about the dog. Look away, Sugar, look away.
Victim # 17, Professor Shea Alloto. Apparently Louise likes redheads and pervy professors. Another 3 bolt chemistry.
Bleh, I need to wash my eyeballs out now.
Not that Louise’s life is all fun and games right now. Time to garden.
And then there’s the handicaps we’re after. This includes reading magazines. She has to keep up 10 point interest in crime for fearless, fashion for the well dressed sim, and culture for the noble composure sim, because well, the Uglacies are all about that. Nothing says noble and cultured like an Uglacy.
Louise invites Lisa over to give her one of the puppies, because there are four dogs hogging up the home right now (the family breed challenge is a serious pain in the butt).
Don’t you just hate it when your sentry bot malfunctions. Poor Jihoon, right in the line of fire. He got his flamingo fried.
Woah it gets the neighbor that never leaves, Samantha Ottoman. Maybe you should go home sometime, not that I blame you with your loser husband and twenty kids waiting at your house. And her mother-in-law. Maxis had a cruel sense of humor when they put this family in the neighborhood.
“Woah that was fantastic. Can you do another bust a move! This time add more bounce.”
“Just wanted to let you know Baboon, you are doing a great job of bringing back the Uglacy’s good looks.”
“Dude, you really don’t get out much. I was five stars back in my day and had simselves clammering to download me, and I bet you can imagine why.”
Meanwhile, Louise closing in on her lifetime desire of 20 lovers. #18 Steve Jayapalan.
“Thanks Louise, I think I need to check myself into a burn center now.”
“That Louise, how dare she constantly cheat on me, although I cheated on two girls to be with her.”
“Bruce, come on, I’m trying to get my lifetime want here and you’re cramping my style. What can I do to get you to settle down?”
“That’s perfect.”
Really Bruce, cause I got pictures saying otherwise. You’ve been dumping our trash… and worse…
“I have your gnome, leave $50,000 simoleans in the mailbox tomorrow or you’ll never see him again.”
“Did you forget something?”
It was time to pick a mate for Sugar, and since we have opened the color green, I have Louise adopt a pit bull from the pet store. We shall call him… Puke.
Puke immediately fits into the family tradition of evil dogs.
The Grunt boys certainly seem attracted to the Uglacy girls, and Louise zeros in on Buck Grunt. He’s all for a date and dancing at Don’s Chili Palace.
But try to kiss him, and oh nooo…
It took 2 annoying days of dating him, but finally!
Lover 19=Buck Grunt.
“Yes Police, my ex lover Bruce keeps walking in here like he owns the place. Can I file a restraining order?”
“You want me to go on an outing cause you’ve heard how fun I am. Yea, I bet you have. Will there be making out on this outing? Well in that case…”
“So have you woohoo’d any repairmen yet?”
I smell puppy love… or maybe just the pee all over the house. Puke does seem to like Sugar, that could make things nice if I don’t have to actually lock two dogs together to build a relationship.
“Not that I mind, but why do you keep inviting me over for chicken noodle soup? Don’t you know I like Chili?”
Lover # 20… Nery Turner! Yea, Louise gets her lifetime want and is platinum for life.
With the twenty lovers out of the way, it was time to get down to baby making. Bruce had grown on me, and he’s certainly got the ugly down. They have a great relationship right now, so Louise proposes the big question. I figured it was in the bag.
Drumroll please… “Marry Me!”
“No way, I’m not falling for that.”
Not two seconds later, “Well if you won’t marry me, let’s just make out.”
“Let’s make out on this downloaded couch, this should be fun. I will show you the ways of yoga make out.”
“Wow, what great flexibility you have, Bruce.”
Louise: “Did you hear something?”
Oh no, no, no, don’t you dare pass out Jihoon and ruin my noble composure handicap. Nevermind that I forgot about you and left you tending the garden all day. Is he technically passed out if he is standing upright still. I say, NO.
Drink your lemonade and go to bed… that was close. Jihoon nearly pee’d himself too. I managed to keep him on his feet and clean so I didn’t lose the handicap, but it was very, very close.
Louise invites Bruce on a date. When asked what he wants on their date, Bruce apparently wants to cheat on Louise with Emily Lew. Wow. Just wow. And I thought my sims were jerks.
After finishing their date with some woohoo, Louise does manage to get a ring on Bruce technically by piercing it through his lip. She asked him to move in, which he promptly accepted to spite his refusal to marry her. It’s the next best thing to marriage.
Now this is confusing, he wouldn’t marry Louise but his first big want is to propose to her. And to bathe our dogs. It just doesn’t get any better that this. Now he wants to marry her. And the dogs do need baths, so it’s a win, win.
“Louise, baby, I’m old fashioned and just wanted to do the proposing. Will you marry me?”
Just in the knick of time, because generation 4 is on it’s way.
Let’s talk Bruce. Bruce is an Aquarius, who enjoys playing bass and avoiding work. He is lazy, sloppy, and playful. Although nice, he is shy (lies) and prefers dark hair and cologne, but hates little old ladies with gray hair. His interest include entertainment and culture (Ha!) and his inventory includes one gnome (I wonder where he got that).
And now we have a new stalker, Emily Lew. Great.
Meanwhile, Louise engages in the most painful, time-consuming interaction in Sims 2. Passing perks. This literally could kill a sim time wise, so I have started to do it off the home lot so it doesn’t age my sims.
The wedding was hurried for obvious reasons. It went well except for a few problems.
Shaun apparently borrowed Uncle Gage’s suit for the wedding. Nice.
Wendy was apparently very happy that her daughter was getting married.
All in all everyone was happy about the nuptials, except for Danae, the cow from college, who showed up and glared at everyone.
And Emily Lew who seriously showed up uninvited as a wedding crasher.
Speaking of missing the wedding…
Finally we can celebrate… what?! Someone died?! How dare they in the middle of a wedding.
No one seemed particularly upset over Mustard, except poor old Lulu, who howled for hours. 😦
“I would like to take a moment to toast my beautiful daughter and new son in law, Bruce. May your love be a symbol of loyalty, faithfulness, and commitment for years to come.”
“Oh my God, the dead dog is stinking this wedding up!”
Time to cut the cake, and this would have been a lovely picture if not for fricking Emily in the background swooning over Shaun in his outrageous suit.
The thought bubbles say it all. Geesh. Can anyone focus on the wedding please?!
Lisa finally shows up at the end of the reception.
Sometimes I get so annoyed with my sims, and then they autonomously do something cute like this.
Green Acres is the place to be…
“Louise, I need to discuss travel perks with you…”
“Aww, this is the life. Just chilling by the pool. Is that screaming I hear?”
“Dear, please, you don’t have to be so dramatic about the perks.”
Meet Seth, named for the main character in the horror movie, The Fly.
I don’t think I’ve ever seen a family so happy about a baby. Maybe it’s cause they are all family sims… well all except…
“Here you go, Bruce… take the baby. You’re the family sim. I want to go take a bubble bath.”
Louise Uglacy… come on down! You won by 71% of the votes with 15 votes. Tiffany came in second at 4, and Shaun had one vote.. and Lisa had one vote. I mean come on, was there any doubt… she’s an ugly zombie with a unibrow… and the romance aspiration to have 20 simultaneous lovers. If that doesn’t scream Uglacy, I don’t know what does.
“Now wait one frickin, frackin second here… I demand a recount! I obviously was groomed to be the Uglacy heir. This isn’t fair!”
“Get a grip sis, the votes are in and the polls are public at boolprop.com. It’s not like I ever wanted this gig anyways. Now I have to settle down and have a bunch of brats.”
“Yay, try to catch us!”
“Gooo Verbits… oh yay. This is so much fun.”
“She’s in there sucking up to the Greek House that I was supposed to get into first, because I was supposed to be heir.”
“Tank, thank goodness you came to college. Not all is lost… I’ve missed you so much… *slurpy, kissy noises…*
“So we took a vote, and you managed to corner all of us and befriend us. Welcome to the Uglacy Greek House!”
“Do I really have to go… I mean there are free meals at the dorm and lots of guys.”
“OK bowl cut boy, time for a new look. And I dyed it to match the color of that pink power ranger suit you insist on wearing.”
Makeovers become the new initiation for pledges… because there is no greater torture than a bad makeover.
“Wait, you’re telling me I have to wear this until the pledge period is over?! I just though I had to write your term paper, scrub a toilet or two, but this is ridiculous.”
But of course she gets Phil’s right the first try…
“She is so fine! I would tap that.”
Not that the *cough, cough… the fortune sim is much better.
“Chris, this is award winning chili. They aren’t kidding, Don’s recipe is to die for.”
Speaking of Don, his Chili Palace is hugely popular. Louise takes all her dates there, which should keep him in business alone.
The simselves flock like crazy. They buy his desserts faster then he can stock the shelves.
Pony’s simself: “Come on hostess, I want some chili already. I’ve been standing here eyeing this menu for two hours. How long must I tap my feet impatiently?”
Even Bella Goth hangs out here, although she seems to want some weird vegan version of Don’s chili. Figures.
Speaking of… victim #1 Kenneth Grundstorm. Only 19 simulataneous lovers left to go and have to be completed within one year to get her life time want… CAN she do it? Because once we hit the Junior year Louise has to re-roll as the heir and likely will not get romance and the same lifetime want. The clock is clicking.
“Well I was going to haul her off to the secret society… but never mind.”
“I moved in, can I wipe this makeup off now?”
“So to properly bow Phil, you have to look down lower, lower… yes, right there.”
Victim #2, Ravi Do… yea I didn’t make that up. He looks a lot like her grandpa Don. Feeling a bit Game Of Thrones here.
Not that that stopped us.
Whose that hussy just a walking up the street…
“Oh Heather, long time no seee.”
Another fine member of our Greek House establishment is pissed off Chris who is furious with Tiffany for no reason whatsoever. Chris has anger management issues.
Victim #3… Rip Grunt. The poor forgotten middle brother of the grunt family. Surely this kid needs some love. Lets go all out. Put on the disco dress for this one.
“I want to be friends with my little brother Buck.”
Better start out with a peck, Louise. Don’t want to scare the crap out of him. As the lioness nears the prey… ever so cautiously…
Awww, first kiss. I guess none of my sleezy sims have gotten to him yet. Until now.
“Rip, hold my hands and look deep into my social glasses…”
550 interactions later… 4 beers, a bag of popcorn, and 54 cuss words…
Of course, it’s not helping that Tank is hovering. “I’m warning you, Rip, she’s the college tramp…”
“Your brother’s just jealous. Let’s forget about him and have a good time. What do you say, Rip?”
The next day… finally. She deflowers poor little Rip.
Sadly he shows up with flowers that evening while she started courting a new potential lover.
‘Fine, I’ll just take my flowers and go.”
Not that it slowed Louise down. Victim 4 was Juan Copur, the dorm zombie whose brain eating tendencies had finally disappeared along with the mod.
But who should show up… Rip’s brothers. This crap only happens in my game. Keep in mind I have no control over Buck or Tank, they just happened to be at the party and stalked the hot tub all on their own freewill.
“Er, these guys are really starting to creep me out, Louise.”
OH My God! I have had Banned 4 Life pictures before but Buck Grunt poses for the all time kill! He’s one kinky freak. Buck is not afraid to take it to the next level. I need some soap for my eyes. He’s enjoying that mohawk way too much.
Thank goodness Don was there to save the day and make the party a roof raiser. Chris graduated, freeing up a spot for Shaun, the last remaining Uglacy in the dorm, to move in. Now all the Uglacies are in their Greek House.
Feeling a little bad for Chris, I had Aurora, his zombie girlfriend from chapters ago, came over and eat his face, and they lived happily ever after. Actually she didn’t eat his face because I finally figured out how to get that mod out of my game.
Barbara, Noseferatus’s girlfriends from chapters ago, also graduated, and maybe, if I have time, I will move her into his downtown apartment and they will live happily ever after too. But that is a big maybe. I barely can maintain one family of time sucking sims.
Barbara grows up while Shaun hates her with a passion of a 100 angry faces and wants to literally see her dead ghost. See exhibit A above. No one seems to particularly like Barbara and her cheer-leading ways. Thank goodness she is moving out before he moves in or chaos would be inevitable. Especially since he is oddly attracted to her too.
“What a great party!”
I finally figured out that while carnivals won’t work if you own the business, they will work if you just make them a community lot. I didn’t actually make this lot, I think I downloaded from Mod The Sims. But yay, unlike the horrendous mess we made of spending all the Uglacy’s money on an amusement park that didn’t work, now this one does. BECAUSE ITS NOT MINE. That’s why.
“OH my gosh, this roller coaster actually moves!”
“Arrrgh, the haunted house is actually haunted, with badly singing and dancing skeletons.”
Speaking of npc’s, is it any surprise that the charlatan is actually drawn to the railroad tracks?
“Hey I need some rope and a fair maiden up here! NO not you Sandy Bruty! I said a fair maiden. Where is that doofus Meadow Thayer when I need her?”
“Wait, what do you mean there’s no interaction to tie a sim up on the track and kill them? But, but that’s so unfair. What’s the point of the tracks?!”
“Curses. Foiled again.”
But I digress. So back at the Uglacy House, Tank walked in on Tiffany and Phil, “relaxing” as usual.
“That’s it, Louise. I’m not letting you do any more makeovers on me. You haven’t gotten one right. When the hell are you going to earn a badge?”
Louise: “So Phil, I have a special graduation present just for you…”
Lover 5- Phil, who is potential uglacy material. But for now he is going in the sim bin, because he has officially graduated.
“Woohoo, Hit my five lover goal and now on to 20.”
Lisa, on the other hand is my most difficult sim to keep in the green right now, probably because I make her do all the cleaning and homework assignments, just like the Cinderella she is. About to hit red, we call her girlfriend Kaylynn Bear over for a quick date and some aspiration points.
Speaking of using sims, Louise is on date with Richard Menon, the original zombie that crashed my sorority house several chapters ago. Richard went to a zombie rehab and finally stopped his brain eating ways. All the better so Louise can seduce him as lover #6.
Although Richard no longer eats brains, Louise immediately realized that Richard’s insane.
Not that it stops her or slows her down. She wants to make out in front of the town.
Romance sims are so very uncouth. With no moral regard, they head for the booth.
With the shame icon of woohoo hearts still fresh over her head, Louise promptly picks the next victim to bed.
When what to her wandering eyes should appear, but her hot Grandpa Goopy from past many years… NO NO NO. We ARE NOT going that Game of Thrones.
“The great Goopy Gilsbaro. Wow. You are legendary. They don’t make sims like you anymore.”
OH no, the bachelors have arrived at the sorority house. Gage, Gage Jr., and Goopy. I feel like the romance sims are infesting my town faster than zombies.
And of course who else should show up but Heather Huffington. Uninvited! Are you kidding me?!
“I am so honored to be in the presence of the great Gage Uglacy. I’m not worthy.”
Our little greek house on Peanut Street is expanding…
Every house has it’s “I HATE YOUR GUTS” relationship. This one is Lisa and Bruce.
Meanwhile Louise is busy getting busy again. This time with Count Holden.
“Well, well, well. Who do we have here, but the little tramp who broke Ripp’s heart.”
“Very vell, if you insist… you vant to let me suck your bluudh.”
“Yeah well you boys have fun, I’m going dancing. See you inside Count.”
“Sorry vear, I vas momentarily distracted. Now vhere vore veee.”
“Oh, you svell delicious.”
“Wow, I can see with all new vampire eyes… and she is hawt! I see what my son saw now. Hubba, hubba.”
Oh so disappointing Count Holden. Only 500 aspiration points. Pffft. And I thought vampires were supposed to be great lovers.
Well they can’t all be Casa Novas. Time for a change of pace… A HALLOWEEN PARTY!
“Ladies, Gagemeister here, ready to full fill all your wishes. All you have to do is rub my bottle…”
“Look, I even brought a friend. How about a little probing?”
“Waaah, and then she beat me up.”
“Lisa, oh my darling but you have grown up.”
“Seriously, you need to get into SIM PE and make some adjustments. Having great uncle Gage and great grandpa Goopy hitting on me, is too much.”
“Heather!”
“Sure, sure, we always get the bad wrap. But where would sims be without the romance sim? Am I right guys? I mean fortune sims are so boring. And then you have knowledge sims, ugh. Who wants to see a sim study all day? And popularity sims reek of being utter annoying. Pleasure sims aren’t half bad, but family sims, they are just romance sims disguising their desires in ‘oh, I want ten babies’. Nobody wants ten brats, they just want to make the babies.”
“Well I did have a fan club once… It was almost like having love slaves, only they didn’t love me, and they wouldn’t do what I wanted them to.”
We interrupt the romance sims evil plotting to bring you this, the Greek House is all set up to party for Halloween! Almost all these goodies can be found at Mod the Sims. Now let’s return to our party in progress.
Apparently Lisa was able to get Kaylynn away from Goopy, and really likes her Halloween costume. Kaylynn Bear is actually quite pretty without the plain Jane haircut.
While Shaun and Lindsey realized they had a two bolt connection.
“I never noticed that you were attractive until you covered your face in makeup.”
“But I can’t hula.”
Cause this is thriller, thriller night…and no one’s gonna save you, from the beast about to strike. You know it’s thriller, thriller night…
Meanwhile, outside…
Where are you going Queen Tiffany?
“So I overheard you were thinking of taking over the world with romance sims?”
“That’s weird. Wasn’t this ornament on the porch a minute ago? I could of sworn.”
“Well let’s get you off the sidewalk, little guy.”
“Are you putting me in the cop car?”
Welcome one, welcome all, to a Sims 2 business you will not soon forget. I know I won’t. No matter how hard I try. Never content to just have a simple business for my legacy family, I decide to go big or go home! The Uglacies were becoming Carnies!!! Which seemed like a fitting business for this family. I went download crazy and downloaded whatever carnival crap I could get my hands on. This beautiful carousel is made by crispsandkerosene found here: 
Yes, Tiffany (the heir to be, or so I thought, get to that later) wanted 5 top 10 businesses. So Uglacy Land was born! Kind of like a glitched version of DisneyLand for sims.
There were bumper cars (by Echo at the Mod the Sims and at her site 
A ferris wheel from Ilana Sims.
Bop the evil clown on the head… and that looks like it would actually damage your hand. This disturbing game was also designed by Crisps and Kerosene Sims.
Cotton candy, popcorn stands, also by Crisps and Kerosene Sims.
Even a pie eating and hot dog eating contest table by Crisps and Kerosene. I also have roller coaster capabilities per Echo at Mod the Sims, unfortunately, the Uglacies literally ran out of money and to be truthful, it was not a good business endeavor. It turned out to be hugely painful, expensive, and a flop.
First of all, the townies seemed genuinely confused by the items.
Not that Tiffany couldn’t sell it.
But the business pretty much sucked. *crickets chirping*
Not to mention the lot was twilight zone glitchy.
First of all, Wendy, the heir, spent way too much time on the energizer… and turned into an aging professor.
Jihoon ages soon after, he tries to go all classy with a suit…
But I soon fix that. Oh, and his skin matches his flamingo!
I would argue that point except I actually considered that Shaun of the Dead might really be Shaun of the Dead… Thankfully, he was only passed out. All day.
Meanwhile, Tiffany (the firstborn) was dating Tank Grunt whose General father loathes the Uglacies. It was like Romeo and Juliet… sort of.
“Cause I’m gonna kick your ass… booyah!”
“Er, that was just a warm up shot.”
Not that he seemed to mind. Tank is apparently drawn to strong… mean, vicious women with no nice points.
“Move aside kiddies. Let Glenda the good witch show you how it’s done.”
Tiffany was my chosen heir without a doubt, until this picture. The twins Louise and Lisa grew up, they both look too pretty to consider for heirship to an Uglacy… until you look closer.
Oh my gosh, how did I miss it before. Why that is Gage Uglacy’s nose planted on that kid’s face. And she’s a zombie!!! Louise even follows in Uncle Gage’s foot steps by rolling romance… fantastic, you little hussy. Her lifetime want to have 20 simultaneous lovers… oh she will be re-rolling in college, but the fun until then. Her secondary aspiration is pleasure… oh boy. Her personality is 9 neat, 8 outgoing, 6 active, 4 playful, and 8 nice. I think we have competition for the heir ship after all.
Lisa, on the other hand, has the makings of a Prettacy heir. She rolls family, with a lifetime want to marry off 6 kids. Her secondary aspiration is popularity. She’s mean… typical prettacy material. Her personality is 10 neat, 3 outgoing, 10 active, 4 playful, and 2 nice.
“That’s right mirror, mirror on the wall. I am the prettiest one by far.”
“Hey sister, get a picture of me. Look at my goldfish lips. I’m so hawt. And you’re not.”
“This is so unfair! Why do I have to do everyone’s homework!”
In addition, Lulu and Ketchup kept up the pet handicap, and Lulu gave birth outside in the rain to two puppies. Who she left in the pouring rain.
While she was all snug and nestled in a nice warm house. Great puppy parenting there.
Fortunately, Louise rescued Sugar and Spice and brought them indoors.
Where Teddy and Ketchup made up for their sucky mom. Now we have five dogs. Love the family breed handicap (NEVER doing that one again for one measly point!).
And finally after years and years of literally gardening and begging that stuck up club to let us in…
Victory is ours! The wishing well!
“Your will is our command.”
Which seems to be a trend with this well.
Meanwhile, it seems fitting to catch the twins up on helping with the family business. But all they want to do is play red hands.
“I know, let’s eat all the profits.”
“Debbie, so glad you could make it.”
“Hey Louise, it’s summer. Let’s go hang out at the pool, steal some more drinks from the bar, and smustle all night long.”
“Gee Mr. Uglacy. This seems inappropriate.”
“Johnny, so nice of you to come to dinner.”
“Really? That’s awesome Tiffany. Because I’ve had the hots for you ever since we met at the carnival and you forced me to buy popcorn.”
Wendy: “Oh hi Buck, over here for dinner again.”
“Mfff, you’re so fine, Tiffany.”
“HOW DARE YOU TIFFANY!”
“Sister, talk to me! Oh my boolprop, what has she done to you?”
Meanwhile, down at the Zombie Pothead Shoppe, Shaun does his duty as a spare.
“Wait Shaun, I need to breath. How many more stars do you need till level 10?”
“Good job Kid, keep it up.”
“Nose! It’s so good to see you.”
“Uncle Nose! I’ve so much to tell you. Apparently I’m in the running for heir now.”
OH geesh, not this Phil kid again. He won’t go away. He is worse than Marsha Bruening and he has the hots for every Uglacy girl, like he wants in the family or something. Every chapter has to have a creepy stalker.
“Hear you might be heir, Louise. Oh baby, have I told you how hot you are. Sizzle, sizzle.”
“Fine. I’m a romance sim, Phil. I’ll use you for aspirational fodder.”
“Did I mention this might be painful?”
“Phil, I know my sister Louise is a romance sim. But I’m family, and I want to flirt with you and…”
“That’s it, this chapter is definitely going to take more booze to get through.”
“We are three wild and crazy guys.’
We even have a grand prize.
“Erm, since when is Mr. Big a vampire?”
“So I hear your little sister Louise is up for heir.”
“You’re obviously mistaken, Marion. I’m the one all the attention is centered on.”
“Hmmf, I’ll tell you about spares. You know you’re a spare when they make you fish for useless crap.”
“Mr. Bear wants to say a special goodbye to you.”
“No, no, no, the voices don’t like it when Mr. Bear goes away…”
“Tiffany, you’re up early.”
“Bleh!”
“Sis, do you really think you’re going to win this. Tiffany’s been groomed for this for years.”
“If I have to drink one more glass of eggplant juice…”
And so the Uglacy kids were off to Sim State, nice riding outfit Tiffany. Tally ho!
Immediately we have a crisis. For this is no ordinary zombie. No, no. I downloaded a mod in my game when I was playing the apocalypse that allowed for brain eating zombies, so this is no Don the zombie. He’s dangerous and could really mess up one of my potential heirs. I hoped he was just passing through.
No such luck. Of course he moves into their dorm. A brain eating zombie. I wonder what he plans to major in.
“Hi everyone, before we sign off, I just want to say, I’m Tiffany, and I should be heir, because obviously I am the ugliest. Also I am a neat freak (10 pts.), a bit shy (3 pts.), really active (9 pts.), very playful (9 pts.) and mean as shit (3 pts). If my charming personality didn’t convince you, I’m a fortune sim with a lifetime want to own 5 top ten businesses. My secondary aspiration is romance. I want to get to the top, and I might sleep with others to do that.”
“Wrong. I’m Shaun, and I should be heir.”
“I’m Lisa, and I’m too pretty for this legacy, so there’s probably no point in rattling off my statistics, but because I like talking about myself, I’m a family sim with a secondary aspiration of popularity. I want to marry 6 brats off. I’m a neat freak (10 pts.), somewhat shy (3 pts.), overly active (10 pts.), semi-serious (4 pts. playful), and not so nice (2 pts).”
I know, I literally haven’t posted since Christmas… I just finished my degree in college, so it’s time to do some serious catching up on Simming! MY apologies. Now let’s get to it.
Teddy has twins too! Bringing our household total to 8! But wait, there’s more…
We have a whole community of cockroaches breeding as well… that I can’t get rid of because…
We have glitched trash! Which I tried to wall off, which doesn’t work. It’s magical trash, folks. You can’t delete it, you can’t cheat it (I tried), and the sims will not pick it up, but they know it’s there. It downs their environment score and keeps them in a constant state of cockroach flu. Good times. So to truly recap, read the other chapters for more details…because I’m too far in now. But let’s talk potential heirs.
The firstborn child of Wendy and Jihoon is Tiffany, who definitely lives up to Uglacy standards. She is the ugliest of the them all.
Then there is Shaun who literally grew up while I was paying no attention, but in my defense, there were babies and puppies being born at the same time and I was praying my game didn’t crash and burn. Anyhow, he is a Pisces, with 10 nice points (No firstborn glitch here at least), 3 playful, 6 active, 3 outgoing, and 6 neat. Nice and well rounded, he is the total opposite of his psycho sister. And he grows up in pink. Not that there is anything wrong with that… it’s just a color. Like rosemary or lilac, or lavender. He instantly rolls wants to do homework, ask someone to help him with his homework, and go to school… he’s as exciting as wallpaper.
“HAHAHA, school is cancelled suckers!”
“Okay, I’m tired of posing, I’m putting this kid on the floor now.”
“Come Play with Us…Danny, forever and ever, and ever…”
“Hey, Shaun, there’s the school bus, they are coming to take us to school after all!”
“Hey, wait, I don’t see a school bus.”
“I don’t understand. Why do we have to feed them when they just poop it out?”
OH GOOD GRIEF! OK, don’t judge me, if you were looking for one of those perfectly, well ran pretty legacies, well you got the wrong one. I had Wendy build a servo, but there’s too many sims in the house now. Only one thing to do…
For the first time, I have my legacy family hire a butler. They are rich, they can afford it, and I’m not going for the no sim service handicap. However, technically it seems like cheating.
“Oh, you poor child, your parents are atrocious especially that paternal one.”
Such as the tramp co-worker that keeps following Jihoon home from work, Michelle Hussy, I mean Tse.
Seriously Michelle, you serve them Slim FAST shakes?!
Sure enough, Wendy goes all lecture mode…
“Oh sister, you stop right there, you pop out four kids and see if you look like a twig. You stalking husband hunting freak. And snap, you can’t pop out those babies because you are a pretty little townie, and you know what, you will NEVER be an Uglacy. You don’t have the skills.”
Still, Michelle didn’t get the hint and kept up her creepy stalking ways. Apparently, she has a stalking outfit too, which is what she wears when she breaks into Jihoon and Wendy’s bedroom at night… I only wish I made this crap up.
Speaking of things that go bump in the night, Quinomei’s ghost is up and running, and pissed.
I mean even in the afterlife, he’s an idiot. I even plopped the bed in the graveyard! It’s his old bed. He was a stupid sim, but now he’s a stupid, pissed off ghost.
I knew that Tiffany was close to her teen birthday… I just didn’t realize how close.
Tiffany: “Behold me in all my glory.” Not that anyone paid attention.
“Ahem, doesn’t anyone want to check me out. I’m suddenly rolling the want to own a piano, a bowling alley, and a piece of artwork valued over $500.”
“But hey sis, you got boobs! Can I touch them?”
“Son, it’s fine to want to touch girl’s boobies, but erm, not your sister’s okay?”
“So what do you think Grandpa Don? I’m fortune, and I am going to make this family rich! Didn’t I grow up great!”
Meanwhile outside…our spare Nosferus is quickly regretting coming to his niece’s party.
Banned 4 Life pictures!
“Was that as good for you as it was for me?”
“He looks a bit like Eddie Munster. What a little weirdo. He’s a total freak.” (Says the stalker who secretly dresses in skin tight leather).
“It’s okay everyone, I know we didn’t get any cake because Tiffany had to be selfish and grow up too fast, but little Louise here is ready to shake and bake, so gather round… Ok sweetie, daddy’s going to put your face down in the burning candles now.”
Everyone in unison: “OH man, what is that smell coming from the bedroom! I think I’m going to puke!”
Next up is Lisa, same haircut, but something tells me these two are not identical twins.
Cop: “Ok everyone, Strangetown P.D. here. We got a report of a toddler birthday party.”
“Yay, puppies… I want to love you, and hold you, and kiss you…”
“Cough, cough, cough… I’ve got the cockroach flu…”
“If one more of these sicko sims mess with my pups, I’m biting your simself in the …”
“Okay everyone, I have an announcement. After careful consideration, I have decided to be an astronaut.”
“I can travel to other galaxies, boldly go where no man has gone before, and plus I hear NASA gives great benefits.”
“I think it’s a great idea dad. Send the little dweeb up to the space, let some alien impregnate him, get a black sheep, and let me run all the businesses. Have him pop out ugly brats. Meanwhile, I’ll make this family rich!”
“Hey I recognize you from the science club, fellow nerd!”
“Come play with us…”
ARRRGH!!!
“You should totally consider me for your private school, Mr. Headmaster. I never miss school, I’m never late for the bus, and my dad rides to work on a helicopter. He really is the top of his career.”
“Look, let’s cut to the chase here. MY kids are smart. Shaun is going to be an astronaut, and my daughter is aiming to run all of Bluewater. They would be a fine addition to your school and you know it. We’ve fed you, schmoozed you, and kiss your butt enough… now what do you say…”
“Can you not see the infinite possibilities their little brains hold?! They could cure cancer, solve world hunger, invent the Sims 5!”
“Maam… did you just try a business perk on me!”
And the twins grow up…
“Wow Buck, you’re so much fun! You’re my best (and only) friend.”
“Son we need to talk about this friendship you are developing with that Uglacy kid. It was bad enough when those alien low lives moved into the neighborhood and your brother Ripp made friends with that Johnny kid. But now we have this ugly zombie riff raff. They are the enemy… can’t you see that, Buck?”
“Don’t be ridiculous, Buck. No one bullies my sons. Now about this zombie kid, you need to stay away from him. He will eat your brain. If it were Ripp, I wouldn’t care, because that kid has no brains. But you keep your distance. That’s an order.”
“DAD, you can’t order me. I’m not a soldier. And Shaun is nice. He’s not going to eat anyone’s brains!”
“So what do you think my future holds, Grandpa Don?”
Yes, the cockroach flu was doing the Uglacies in, they were always sick and it was just a matter of time till one of them keeled over, probably the heir because that’s my luck. So I did the only thing I could do, and moved them to a big lot on the other side of town. With 160,000 simoleans, it was an easy thing to do and gave them plenty of money to build a new home. Oh hell no they are not lawn living again… we’ve worked too hard.
And I built them this… building was never my thing. But to spite the lopsided windows it will still be an improvement over the cockroach villa they were living in.
Immediately Pollinator Tech 9 shows up to “welcome” Wendy to the neighborhood.
Wendy goes right for hanging loose with Pony, and Pony is oddly amused by her.
Bixby Rabbit of course, Algebra sucks.
A POOL! Cause summertime, summertime, yea, yea, it’s summertime!!!
We are going to get that damn wishing well if it kills us!
“OH Armando, you have so many knots in your shoulders.”
“Gee Tiffany, thanks for feeding us! When I grow up, I want to be just like you.”
“No. I want to have a big bust like yours.”
And fear not, our ghosts are here, and Quinomei is as stupid as ever.
“I get no respect.”
Pierre, on the other hand, is the stuff of nightmares.
“I want another baby.”
Meanwhile, whose in the new living room educating the kids… well it’s not the family sim whose a teacher… oh nooo. It’s Wendy, the pleasure sim. Wait that sounds wrong. I seriously typed that before I realized how disturbing it sounds.
“Okay sis, I’m going to shoot her dead and your job is to bury her in the garden…”
“We love eggplant juice” Said no sim child ever…
“Cough,cough, cough, oh no… we keep getting the flu back from the townies we already infected. I’m choking… this is the universal sign for I need the Heimleck…”
Whips out chicken noodle soup…
Tiffany decides to look like the fortune sim she is and give herself a more professional appearance… Much better than the Meadow Thayer Look, and she has a whole wardrobe because, well, we are going for that handicap. Really, I would download clothes for all my sims anyway, so that’s the easiest handicap ever.
Not that it helped a whole lot.
Wendy tries to help by passing along her business perks but Tiffany always cops an attitude…
“YOU need those awesome flowers for Donna! Nothing says love like dying tulips!’
“Space! The final frontier. I can’t wait till I can actually meet intelligent life. But what if they are like that old pollinator dude…ewww. I wonder if they all wear knee high socks.”
“Ok Shaun, you need to grow up this tall to ride the rides.”
Shaun… rolls pleasure. His Lifetime want is 50 first dates. You player, you. Phil and Buck both show up at his party. I was hoping to get the option to grow Buck up.
“Hey Shaun, want to play red hands again?”
“Wow, what a rip off. Can you believe this game didn’t even give the option to grow me up?! I’m his best friend! I am going to be stuck as General Grunts son forever, living in his house listening to him rant orders at me! It’s so unfair! And now Shaun hardly notices me.”
Later that night, who should literally come running over but General Grunt himself… I thought he was coming for Buck. Or jogging for body points. Something lame.
“OH geesh. FIRE! FIRE! FIRE! What do we do?!” *Squeals like a little girl* “We’re all going to die!”
“I”M TOO YOUNG TO DIE. MY COUNTRY NEEDS ME!!!”
“Hello, Mr. Uglacy…”
“Hey kid, just wanted to warn you know to stay away from Buck. No more studying together, kapeesh? He doesn’t need you trying to eat his brains.”
“Blah, blah, blah… I’ve said all I am going to say on the matter. My son is not allowed to talk to you, socialize with you, or have any contact with you. Now begone you zombie parasite.”
“I can’t believe one of my sons befriended the enemy. Best friends with a zombie. Pffft. What is this neighborhood coming to? First aliens, now zombies!!! Well not my boys! When I get home, they are all going to drop and give me fifty. I’ll show them what Grunt boot camp is.”
“Tank, my only hope. What do you do when you see an alien?”
Meanwhile downstairs… I may have done a little fancy footwork. Hey, it’s not the legacy house. This is not a no cheat zone.
“Congrats, brother. Now lets get you a new outfit, complete with high heels.”
It’s not surprising when the Grunt boys show up the next day, after all they are our next door neighbors.
But then Tiffany shows up… and Tank suddenly changes his tune.
“Call me Baby, and I don’t mean maybe.”
“Er, sure, but you’re here right now. Want to go grab a bite?”
First interaction out of the gate… before I could even stop her.
“YOU need to cool it. You know how long it takes me to get this camouflage just right?!”
And who should be there, complaining about the service of course. No other then the General.
“That girl looks oddly familiar. Of course Tank is out on a date, he’s a ladies’ man and a chip off the old block if I say so myself. Not like Ripp and Buck who couldn’t get a date if their pathetic lives depended on it.”
“Let’s toast to my future success, 5 great businesses yet to come, heir to the Uglacy throne, and amazing entrepreneur that I am.”
After a dream date, Tiffany crashes for the night, only to have Buck eerily stand over her bed in his swimsuit. He appears to be unhappy that she chose his boorish brother over him and decides to stalk her.
When we last left the Uglacy family, Wendy had just given birth to Shaun. Welcome back to the Uglacy family, the family striving to get as ugly as possible by generation 10. We are playing by the legacy rules by Pinstar. If you haven’t read the other chapters, you might want to, or just jump right into this Christmas Special if you’re in the holiday spirit.
Tiffany, the firstborn, had finally hit childhood, and reminds me a great deal of her great,great grandmother Samara. She has one nice point. Oh the Uglacies I know and love.
“OW geesh, Tiffany, my eye!”
“Oops, sorry Grandpa Don. I didn’t mean to…heh, heh, heh.”
“Why that little…”
He spends hours watching her show off. At first I thought she was glitching or something, and then I remembered… CARTWHEELS!
Meanwhile, down at the Uglacy Christmas Tree Lot, the decorations and trees are selling like hot cakes and the business is up to a level 8. Manning the stocking is no other than simself Lil White Comet, who write A Sparrow Legacy over at Boolprop.com, when she isn’t stocking of course.
It’s a happening, popular lot, Don even makes appearances.
To add fun to the lot, the Uglacies had a small ice skating rink built…
Obligatory boring baby picture of Shaun. He pees, he poops, he cries, he sleeps. You know the drill.
“Hey little girl… I’ve noticed your intense interest in painting, and I’ve just walked in your house and brought you a gift…”
Oh but how 3 days pass so quickly, and it is time for Shaun’s birthday. This time at night, so Nose could attend his nephew’s toddlerfication. All was going according to plan, and then…
Remember the banned 4 Life pictures we use to share on the exchange… er, well…this one could qualify. What the hell is Cleo doing to Gage Jr?!
“I don’t understand why I have to invite these freaks to my kid’s birthday party?!”
And Shaun is apparently bringing in the New Years. Cool it kid, we haven’t had Christmas yet.
I don’t know if he’s ugly enough, but he certainly impressed me with his wardrobe selection. He looks a lot like Don. What is this generation? Throw back Tuesday?
“Well there was that little incident at school, Grandma Samara. I mean how was I supposed to know that Marsha Bruening was too clumsy to hang on to the top of the monkey bars while I stomped on her hands.”
“Oh my little prodigy. You bring a tear to grandma’s eye. I have so much to teach you.”
“Can I open a present yet?”
“Jihoon! Can you move your curtain clad butt out of the way? I’ve got fifty bucks riding on this game!”
The next morning…
“Okay boy, you’re getting older. So you and Teddy girl need to start on the next generation. We’ve got a pet lineage to keep up here. Go try for puppies…”
“OH my my, dogs doing the dirty… yes, yes… Let me take some pictures with my cell phone. Better yet, I’ll video it and upload it to Facebook.”
“Nobody loves me. They are all too busy skilling and badging, I’ve been in my crib forever.”
“Now, now, Shaun. That’s not true, grandma spoils the heck out of you. Whose your favorite person ever?”
“die.”
“Sorry to inform you Angel Uglacy, but your babysitting gig is over, permanently. On the bright side, you get the platinum package with all the free Pina Coladas you can drink.”
“Grandma?”
She was buried alongside Quinomei under the Apple Legacy tree where soon these ghosts reeking havoc on the family and glitching up my lot in no time.
The grief for this family was terrible, mainly because Angel was an excellent mom and grandmother and everyone actually liked her. Shaun probably took it the hardest, likely cause she died right in front of him.
“I’m not growing up well, am I?”
“Waaah, she was the best mother in law ever! This is so unfair, right before Christmas.”
And Peppy is not so peppy.
There was only one thing to do. That’s right, you know what those cookies mean.
Meanwhile, over at Don’s…
“Listen, it will be a good time. If anyone knows how to have a good time, it’s me. Just bring the chili mix and we are going to have an Uglacy roof raiser.”
“Of course not, Don. Just a party. Lots of chili and mingling. No hidden agendas here. Not to mention the simself ladies…”
“So he’s coming.”
“It’s time to get the party started ladies!”
“Great, I don’t know why I let him talk me into this. I always let my soft spot for him rule my common sense. All this is about is him wooing the ladies, and he’s going to try to force me to accept Candi’s apology. Well it’s not happening. No way, no how.”
“Nemo! Nemo is that you in there?”
“Yeah, well I was the king of subplots in my day…”
“Okay Candi, this isn’t some kind of Gage Orgy, is it?”
Not everyone is afraid of Gage, however…
“Hey darling, where have you been?”
And taking out our trash for us is Pony. Thanks Pony.
“Oh my goodness, I’m trapped between two fine looking men!”
“Hey Blueberry, jump in! You’re ten steps behind!”
“Look Don, I got it!”
“I can’t smustle…”
“So I’ll bang a pan!”
The party was going great… everyone was having fun. But then someone had to pull out the karoke machine.
“Alright, time to do my version of Lady GaGa! Can’t read my, Can’t read my, No he can’t read my poker face…”
I decided there was only one thing to do. I had to beg Don’s forgiveness.
“And I don’t know how many times I have to tell you, I AM NOT ever forgiving you! As far as I’m concerned, you’re dead to me! Gone! Kapeesh?!”
“DAD that is a bit harsh, even for an Uglacy! She created it, she brought you and mom together against legacy norms I might add. She played you when zombies weren’t cool! Pre-Walking Dead days!”
“And then she left us! In a sim bin for years! Everyone just deserted us like yesterday’s news! Are you forgetting that Gage. I’m done talking about this. I’m not forgiving her and that’s that!”
“Hey, hey don’t cry…”
And what happened then, well in Strangetown they say
And now that his heart didn’t feel quite so tight,
Gage spawned the sim modder
“Wow, I suddenly feel forgiving again.”
“Don, this is for you. It’s a special gift from me. Something in your want panel.”
“Don, I’m so glad we’re friends again.”
“Here Samara. This is for you. I saw it on the internet and thought it would be perfect for you.”
“I love it.”
“And this is for you Zip.”
“Last but not least, this is for you Donna.”
“Hello Grimmy! No, no, I’m paying full price! I need Fricorith Tricou back!”
“Fric!”
“Yeah, I kind of need him to not be a teenager…”
“Thank you, thank you. I’ve been so depressed!”
“I heard there was one of those Uglacies parties here. I will put an end to this right now! Those zombies don’t actually eat brains do they?”
“Ladies and Gentlemen, Goopy Elvis is in the House.”
***Sang to I’m Dreaming of a White Christmas, which Elvis did sing…*** Insert sexy, southern drawl…
With all the decorations…
And Recreation…
Too bad the kids still had to go to school.
“How do you think I feel little girl?! I have to work on Christmas day and drive a bunch of ungrateful brats to school. Now get your *%@#&@ in the bus already!”
I’m dreaming of a Sims Christmas. Just like the ones in the Sims 2…
With the tree tops burning
While Sims keep learning, …not to pet the electrical deer.
“Daddy?!”
I’m dreaming of a Sims Christmas, complete with the Seasons pack…
With the evil snowman, his friend the penguin, whose conversations never lack…
I’m dreaming of a Sims 2 Christmas
Where Santa shows up for cookies
“Sure, you don’t have to be my BFF. BUT a lot of things could happen while you’re out delivering presents. I hear there are all kinds of falling satellites out there.”
And does his creepy laughing inbetween.
“Santa, you’ve been in here for two hours. I need to potty.”
“I’m dreaming of a Sims 2 Christmas, complete with all the simselves raising hell!
“Upload yourselves, ladies. You know you want to.”
I’m dreaming of a Sims 2 Christmas with every legacy I write.
Merry Christmas from the Uglacies!
“Elvis has left the house. Thank you, thank you very much.”
Welcome back to the legacy family striving to get ugly in 10 generations! Sure, we have a few other goals as well, such as surviving glitches, taking over the Blue Water District, meeting the well dressed handicap, keeping our noble composure handicap, allowing our ghosts to roam free, keeping our legacy tree alive, and storytelling, both the handicap and for real life too! This family will be anything but bored. So lets recap a little.
When we last left the Uglacies, they had welcomed the third generation, Tiffany to the family. Tiffany is named for Chucky’s Bride. Sadly, Tiffany did not inherit the cool zombie skin, but she is definitely an Uglacy. The personalities have started. She has 10 neat, 3 outgoing, 9 active, 9 playful, and 1 nice. Yes… one nice point.
Meanwhile, Angel and Quinomei sit around playing chess and generally being useless, like you would expect retired education ministers to do.
Angel does like being a grandmother tho, it’s that family sim thing. She never leaves poor Tiffany alone. She stands over her crib when she sleeps. Creepy.
Quinomei tried to pass on his business perks to Wendy.
And Jihoon, well I’m not sure he’s feeling the Christmas spirit or his new family. In his defense, I did dress him in plaid.
But he has some unhealthy feeling towards his mother in law.
“Hey Mrs. Uglacy, let me give you a hug…”
“Here, let me rub those knots out.”
In other news, we finished the death memorial pictures…
So Jihoon invests in a business, Christmas trees! And stuff. The Uglacy Christmas Lot is officially open and operational. Wreaths, light up reindeers, gingerbread houses, and a wide variety of useless Christmas crap that this sims will carry around in their inventory forever to use one time a year. Sound familiar? But I love Christmas Crap! So this should be fun.
Our first customer, Gage Uglacy! Nice matching stalking raincoats boys. Plan to do a little flashing later?
Of course my sim self makes an appearance and admires Wendy. Who wouldn’t. She’s the all star with skill points, several badges, and appears to actually be an intelligent sim. Unfortunately if history repeats itself, inbreeding with ugly townies is probably going to change this story line fairly fast. And then my family will be lucky to sell peanuts to an elephant.
Like father, like daughter. Yea, no one bring the baby in, it’s not like it’s winter or anything.
Fortunately, Tiffany survives, and we miss the whole birthday party thing… because I didn’t notice. Anyway, she reminds me of someone… I can’t quite put my finger on it. Let me think… Looks through old albums…
Third Christmas tree and counting…
We still have all the lovely dogs… “FOLLY! How many times do I have to tell you not to destroy the flowers. Geesh, fill up that bar already! You’re 100 years old.”
And Angel teaches Tiffany how to walk, talk, potty, and sing a nursery rhyme her first day as a toddler… GO Angel, you rule! Smart milk might have helped a little…
“Jihoon, I think we should expand our family… maybe we could have an ugly zombie baby. I just wish that sim self, Nichola, would stop staring at us in the car.”
Nothing makes a sim self run off your lot faster than baby making.
“Oh these flowers are trash!”
Grrr. You are a disgrace to Hoover.
“I want to sing another evil nursery rhyme, Grandma…”
“Folly, you’re old as the hills now. I just want to let you know… it’s okay to go towards the light. No really, it is. Anytime… anytime at all.”
“Oh no, I think I’m pregnant…”
“AAArrrgh…”
“I need to lecture you, Wendy, you are dirtying up all the toilets in the house and we can’t have that. What are you doing…”
Another real example of my really bad sim playing…after wondering why the option to never breed Peppy and Buffy came up, I finally realized the problem.
Speaking of dying, Folly’s time had finally come… but prepare for some of the worse Grim Reaper pics ever. Turn away… turn away.
“Er, I’m here to collect your dog… are you really going to jump in the bathtub right this minute. Maybe you want a minute to say your final goodbyes?”
“How about a picture… for Facebook? Good dog, Folly, be with you a minute. Got to snap a picture of this. No one is going to believe this family.”
“You sure are hanging around a long time, Mr. Reaper. Are you glitched?”
Dear Lord, is he beating her with a stick in the bathtub?! What is this? Shades of Gray, Reaper Style?!
What a disturbing and somewhat satisfied expression. You do realize your dog just died?
New dog!!! Angel goes to the pet store and gets a younger version of Buffy, who we name Teddie. After my dog. Except my dog is actually a boy… so it’s not exactly the same. Minus a few parts.
Meanwhile, Jihoon gets promoted almost daily and is up to Guest Lecturer.
“Er, what’s this? Another dog? Did we really need one?”
While in the bathroom… (Where all good sims go to die)
“There, there Quinton Uglacy. You are actually about to be free, you’ve been trapped in this mess of a legacy. Drink my magical pina colada, and join us for a free, non-ending vacation of platinum bliss. Drinks and condiments are not included… tour packages are extra.”
Angel never cried, but she did start downing “juice” immediately after the death.
Death aside, it’s time for birthdays and mayhem.
The Uglacies were in attendance.
“Hey Nosferatu, how has everything been?”
Everyone looks a bit bored with the party, except Don of course. Who can blame them, seen one toddler party, you’ve seen them all.
I don’t know if I would get that glowing kid too close to the flames…could be catastrophic.
“Yay, grow up ugly!”
Survey says…
We have an Uglacy. Repeat… We have an Uglacy.
“You shouldn’t even be here, you traitor! You don’t deserve to be at this party!”
“I’m stepping back out” (and he actually did) “What’s wrong with these people? Do they think I want to attend toddler parties and break up fights. I’m a lover, not a referee. Is that a sim self coming up the sidewalk?”
“Take her down Grandpa Don! She’s a backstabber!”
“Sorry I had to do that Don, but I have body points too. I hope you’re happy, scarring our great, great granddaughter at her birthday party. Poor kid will needs years of therapy for this one!”
“Wow, Can you guys do it again!”
She does have issues with dogs on the beds however.
“Dad, she kicked the tar out of Don. But sometimes he kicks the tar out of her. Meanwhile the party score plummets. We can’t keep having snooze parties, we have a reputation to uphold.”
Meanwhile, upstairs, Don keeps slapping me, while zip elbows me in the head. Now they are tag teaming me. Seriously guys, enough is enough.
In a pathetic attempt to save the day, Wendy runs around singing Go Gerbits to all her guests in free will mode. It doesn’t help the situation.
Jihoon ask both of us to join him in the hot tub to get us to stop fighting, and tries to remind us that once we were best friends. It at least gets the party score up to Good, but Don and I are a long way from friends now.
Busting moves may have been a bit too much for Wendy…
Yay! A baby zombie boy!
“Good job, honey!”
“LADIES! I’ve heard your simselves recently arrived in Strangetown. Welcome Keika and Nichola to my humble abode.”
“Now girls, I know you are probably intimidated by the masterpiece that is me, but please, don’t be. This is after all, Gage’s hot tub of love where no topic is off limits.”
“Now I want to be clear about the terrible rumors about me, started heartlessly by my creator Candi. I am completely misunderstood and just want to be best friends with everyone.”
Rflong: “Last I checked girls he was a romance sim, not a popularity ones. He wants friends alright, with benefits. Watch out in here, no splashing… no cuddling of any kind.”
“Sorry to interrupt your pathetic attempts at seduction, but we need to talk mister. I did what you asked, I downloaded these poor simselves against my better judgement. But you’re not holding up your end of the bargain, Gage. When are you going to help me repair my relationship with Don?! We’ve been fighting all over town, and this has gone too far.”
“Just today he had a horrible accident where he ran smack into the tree while stealing our invisible newspaper.”
“Baby, I’m working on it.”
“Relax sweetheart. I got this. I’m nothing if I’m not charming.”
“Don’t get your panties in a twist, I can handle this. But you have to remember, you literally left us in the middle of a zombie eating apocalypse. And Don is dealing with some serious disbandment issues.”
“UGH. You were a pretend doctor. Fine Gage. Whatever. Just start working on this, okay?”
“So Gage, we were all talking and we want some of Don’s chili. Can you get it for us?”
“Why of course, Sam. Don and I are tight. He’ll whip me chili and then some. No problemo. The Gagemeister is on it. I wouldn’t leave you ladies down.”
“Gage can you do this, Gage, can you do that. Simselves. So demanding. Pfft. Can’t live with them, can’t live without them. Now I have to convince that cranky zombie to have a chili party and forgive Candi. What do I look like? Dr. Fricking Phil?”
Meanwhile, at Don’s…
“Gage. so good to see you. How’s everything at your new condo?”
“Yeah, I heard you’ve been having quite the time of it. What happened, Gage? Did you sell out already. Did you forgive Candi for a cheetah car and a hot tub?!”
“Why, I can’t believe I wasted all that time potty training you and you stab me in the back like this! Have you forgot how she abandoned us? Left us unplayed for YEARS!”
“Now listen Don, I agree that was wrong, but if you are going to be angry with anyone, maybe you should be ticked at EA, who shut down our site in the height of popularity just so they could repackage the same game all over again. And that destroyed the Sims 2, not her. Now I’m not condoning what she did, but everyone makes mistakes. Except for me, because I’m exceptional. But let’s be honest here. Don’t you miss the parties, the good times? She came back. We have the chance to do it all again.”
“Maybe you have a point. Sure, I miss the good times. But she put those brain eating zombies back in the game!”
“So let’s have a huge chili party, all the Uglacies, all the simselves. Crash this game like never before.”
Flash back to the actual legacy house, Nose and Wendy have returned home from college. Nose sports a nifty suit. Still living on the dark side of life, he hasn’t changed much.
Wendy moves back home and ask Jihoon to move in, avoiding the error you get if engaged to a college student and then you can never marry them in Sims 2. So move em in and live in sin first, another Sim 2 Tip.
“Well big brother, it’s been great. But you need to get off this lot before you burn to a crisp and we don’t have time to babysit you anymore.”
“Wendy, we were just getting to know your friend Baboon… I asked him what part he played in planet of the apes…”
“Jihoon, I have something to give you…”
“No, I want you to marry me and become Jihoon Uglacy.”
Which gave Wendy time to plan for the big wedding. She looks like she might be regretting her choice… nah, she just hates the veil I picked. Well tough, bridezilla, there’s no time to download now.
Meanwhile, out on the front lawn…
“You stop picking on my dad. You left him in the sim bin for years, and you have the nerve to show your boobs, I mean face, here!”
Finally everyone settled down enough to have the wedding, let the inappropriate heart farting begin…
“I can’t believe they seated me next to you. Pervert.”
Finally, it’s time for generation 2 to begin. Which means…
Time to Party!!! Hey is that Russian? It looks Russian. Eh, time to drink champagne, vodka, whatever…
Let the toasting and endless peeing commence. To the Bride and Groom…
“May they have lots and lots of legacy babies… Back off Zip, I’m watching you.”
“Here’s to you Wendy, may you find the love and happiness that Samara and I have.”
I knew Don had hit the champagne pretty hard, so now that he was wasted, I mean relaxed, it was my chance to approach him.
“Nah, Nah, nah, not listening. I don’t want to hear it. You left us. You didn’t care about this family for years. Now you want to be friends again, I don’t think so. Apology denied.”
Even Wendy tried to help and influenced Don to apologize to me.
“So now you want to apologize. Well I don’t think so. You just shot me down, and that ship has sailed.”
Random townie: “This wedding cake is delicious!”
“Wendy, you’ve been such a good sport about this. I got you a wedding gift, a honeymoon to Twikki Beach.”
“Hello bell hop who looks an awful lot like my husband… I’m here for my free vacation package.”
“It was nice of her to give us a little breather before we enslave our lives as legacy sims forever… but we only have three days, so we have to make the most of it.”
Swimming in the ocean only gives her 500 aspiration points? Cough, cough, Rip off!
“Well if it’s aspiration points you want…”
Dream Date! Not mine of course… but good for them.
“The Riff raff at this hotel is terrible. That old geezer just took my egg omelet.”
“You sir, unhand that meal. How dare you steal my wife’s ice cream.”
“Sucker…”
It was time to enjoy the local hot springs, although who left the eight year old brat in is anyone’s guess.
Next up, a tour of the pirate ship.
“BOO, I’m Edward Dregg, land lovers, and I don’t like no sims plundering me boat. But if you friend me, I shall teach you a chanty of the sea. I was an awesome sim captain in Sims 2 but I got pretty lamed down in Sims 3, and I’m still pissed about it.”
“So I’m on my honeymoon, and I was thinking about, you know, spicing things up a bit. A little bondage maybe. I could do a whole sea captain scenario, you have any tips for the ladies? Can I borrow the eye patch?!”
“So I can see how this legacy gig can get tiring. I mean, we’ve been on a never ending rotation of dates and interactions and this is just a vacation! Do we get a prize for this?”
“What are you doing , Jihoon?”
“Roll your hips, yes, yes that’s it. Now you can go home and teach everyone the Macarena!”
“Well that’s it, Jihoon. Tomorrow, we start legacy living. Any regrets?”
“Well at least we finished with some car woohoo…wait what’s sound?”
Meanwhile, while Wendy and Jihoon were goofing off, Quinomei had been hard at work using his gold sewing badge and taking over the old ladies’ quilt club.
Angel was hard at work designing bouquets and snapdragons. Their flower and crafts store is at a whole level 4 now. Yes, be amazed.
“Hey Wendy, how was the honeymoon…”
Now that the honeymoon was officially over, Wendy went back to work on a servo, that we can never use because of the the pets clogging up this house. I don’t like the pet handicap. You always have 3 pets or more running around and it does not leave room for spares or servos. I am beginning to think about ditching that restriction.
Quinomei actually surprises me and does something on free will I rarely see. He runs up to Wendy right after she finds out she is pregnant and talks to her belly.
So giving the pets one more go, we adopt a female for Peppy, our current heir pet. Now in case you’ve forgotten, I’m trying to do the pet handicap, where you actually breed your pets alongside your sims, but it is a huge pain. This is Buffy, I absolutely love her because she looks like my real life dog…Teddy, a Basinji.
Unfortunately, Peppy does not share my sentiments.
Jihoon can’t find a job teaching, so he buys the Mercantile Mart in Blue Water and opens up a pottery store. He can only make plates, so the merchandise is quite limited. Like plates. Only plates. And more plates.
“I can’t believe we sold out. Tell me again why I bother making Snapdragons?”
Hire Don the Zombie as an employee. Not likely, but very smart.
Therefore, Quinomei hires Lainey Bartlett, a semi-ugly teenager who might be useful later. Right now, she doesn’t have a badge to her name and whines constantly.
So I’m tired of boring businesses, and decide to do something that I’ve never seen done before. Someone may have, so don’t send me ugly messages if this was your idea first. Copyright it, okay. So its a Christmas Lot!!! With Christmas trees! Yay! Only, I have no idea if this will work because my seasons pack is right on the verge of winter and I’m not sure sims will like shopping outside in the cold. This could be great… or it could be horribly disastrous! The Uglacies dropped a cool $20,000 on this lot in Blue Water.
Gage Jr. seems to approve. Of course that doesn’t mean much, but still.
Finally, Jihoon gets a job in teaching, And who does he bring home from work his first day but Samantha Ottoman. Now in case you’ve forgotten, she was the bring home coworker of both Quinomei and Angel back in the day, but now it looks as if she’s been demoted from Education Minister to Playground Monitor with Jihoon. Worse, he has all these lightning bolts and inappropriate thoughts with her. Grrr. Dude she has a whole houseful of kids and a loser husband.
“Here, Samantha, let me massage your back for you…”
“Um, yes, Sim Pet Patrol? I’d like to report our dog Buffy as missing. How long has she been gone, er, today, a few days, not sure, we haven’t paid any attention to her since we brought her home. We just noticed she’s missing.”
“Hey Quinton, look at my awesome hula I learned at the island.”
“So I don’t know what happened guys, one minute I was Education Minister, and the next I was monitoring the playground again. It’s as if I have no control of my life or my fate.”
“Er What do you mean you’re my mother in law’s best friend?”
While everyone else was enjoying a soak in the tub, Wendy was hard at work, finishing up a servo we could never use *sob* and basking in the glow of her tinkering abilities…
“OWwww, owww, owww, owww. Where is everyone?! I’m in labor!”
“It’s been summer for like 5 chapters now. It’s time for winter. Is that screaming I hear. No, never mind. Probably just the winter wind starting. So what were we talking about… oh yes. Seasons. Any day now, there will be snow.”
“Oh man, that was screaming we heard!”
“Hey, why does her thought bubble have my husband in it?!”
Hello fellow simmers, or sim story readers, or accidental browsing victim, whatever your story is, we are glad to see you. The Uglacies are still striving to produce the ugliest sim yet in 10 generations of legacy living. I know it’s been a while, but there’s a reason, which we will get to (trust me, it’s the roughest college years ever). Legacy living is sim living with no cheats, lots of agendas, and usually shows how masters play the sims… usually. But not here. Angel Uglacy is the first generation descended from 10 generations from 10 years ago… are you following? Now I know what you’re thinking, she just got promoted to her lifetime want of Education Minister! Hahaha. No. When last we left the Uglacies, they had returned from their family camping trip to Axe Mountain, or wherever.
So a quick recap, Angel married this… Quinomei, as I like to call him for his Komei like appearance, who reached the top of his career ladder, Education Minister, and achieved his lifetime want. He grew old in this chapter. Now I make him sew and garden and do lame stuff.
Noseferatu, the firstborn, was a knowledge sim (lies!) who only want to have fun, fun, fun all the time. He’s an overactive, mean, playful freak of nature. I aged his neighbor, Nancy, who he completely ignored to spite her attempts to follow him home from school everyday, and suddenly he rolls the want to date her.
“Should I tell her boobs!”
Meanwhile, Wendy is a focused opposite of her brother. Yes, she is playful too, but more directed and nice. She loves to dance, but she has a horrible metabolism. She actually works out more than any of the family, and yet gets none of the rewards. Well I don’t care, she can wear that husky sized tutu with pride because she has the most body points. I’ve never had a sims body stuck on the bottom of the fit scale like this. I was beginning to think she was glitched.
“Grandpa Don, I dance and dance, but I’m still not skinny like the other girls in dance class. I can’t lose weight. They make fun of me.”
Wendy is not the only Uglacy who likes to dance. Gage Jr. shows up almost daily and heads straight to the dance bar. That was something I didn’t see coming.
“Hold that pose, ballerina boy, I’m going to get some of my dollar bills.”
“Daddy, daddy, I got straight A’s!”
Speaking of education…*cringes*
“How dare you bring up hats. Those are so last year. Why I never!”
“Well I see you went all out and served me your finest bass and squash, but I was really wanting some of that Uglacy chili. I like to let go with a good after dinner fart.”
“And a nice cold beer would be nice too. I heard this place serves it on tap to nannies all day long.”
“Oh my, what a nice looking young man. Can I have him… I mean give me the tour.”
“OH I love the interior decorating. What pretty pink butterflies, and toilets, beautiful, sculptured toilets! It takes me back to my youth, before the constipation set in.”
“Did you forget something?”
Now just in case you forgot our lovely pets, That’s Pierre, the demon poodle. He’s an aggressive doofus. He brings such joy to my hours of sim playing. Like tearing up furniture and homework, and peeing all over the floor so that the Uglacies have lots of cleaning points from moping up all day. Sometimes he attacks townies passing by, which actually I do enjoy.
Then there’s Folly. Like Father, like daughter. Her pastimes include avoiding baths and tearing up Quinomei’s garden.
And finally Moody, a doofus , lazy, pigpen male terrier we were forced to adopt to keep the family breed going. He likes to dig holes… and dig holes… and dig holes.
Really Angel, you want to adopt another pet. Oh hell no. Even Nose and Quinomei are glaring at her like she’s off her meds.
But then they go and make cute puppies… introducing Peppy, a friendly, genius pigpen. I almost had the trifecta. But I sense lots of baths in his future.
Little Peppy is adorable and an only child… THANK the stars!!! Cause if I had to have six dogs running around on this lot, I would have quit without saving… not really…*shifty eyes* maybe… I mean, really, would you blame me?
But enough with the dogs, time to dust off an expansion I do miss. Open for Business! Now that Quinomei has retired, he and Angel decided to buy the Little and Local shop in the Blue Water District and sell crafts and flowers. Just the kind of lame thing a couple of nice retired school teachers would do. Well technically, Angel’s not retired because she keeps getting demoted, but I digress.
NO Quinomei, it is not your wife who is open for business! *Smacks him upside head*
“What do you mean this isn’t a shoe store? Wherever will I get my petunia pink prom high heels?”
Simselves!!! (Cue Game of Thrones music). Blueberry Pie, long time no see.
“Excuse me, miss, but what kind of restaurant has dirty dishes on vacated tables…”
“Hmmm, I’ll just wander around aimlessly, look confused, demand special attention, and dock some more stars. I’m confused to what I want to buy and no one is helping me. Tssk, tssk, horrible service here.”
As if that wasn’t bad enough… my simself had to be oogled by Quinomei. Ewww. You better stop heart farting mister, or I sense an accident in your immediate future.
But who should come to save the day but Samantha Ottoman, the official best friend of the Uglacy family. She gives them the star that gets them to a level one business the first day. Poor Samantha, pregnant and stuck forever in the sim bin, which I finally figured out when someone informed me over at Boolprop the other day.
Samantha was like a loyal puppy, following Angel home everyday from work. Even hanging out with Samara, the queen of mean. There was only one thing to do.
For a moment, I was feeling all warm like a fairy Godmother, then I loaded them. Uggggh!
“Hey, hey baby, we’ve been in that Sim Bin a long time. Are you thinking what I’m thinking?!”
“OWWW, oh ouch, I think the baby is coming. Where is Peter?”
Oh he’s just outside, autonomously flirting with some co-worker he brought home and scarring your seven year old daughter forever, no biggie.
OH Samantha, YOU did not do this to me! Of course you had twins!!!
“Excellent work Samantha, twin girls. That’s lovely. Why I’ve already rolled wants for another grandbaby. I just love seeing my loser son spread his DNA.”
Back at the Uglacy home, Angel was working her way up to Snapdragons. Oh the flower that forever fills your sims needs.
And she had just finished a novel to meet the storyteller handicap. That oddly does not look like “The Uglacies Return.” Unless that’s Gage on the cover with a sim self *cringes*.
And in the spirit of overachieving at everything, she continues to get demoted due to bad chance cards.
Meanwhile, Quinomei has been trying to convince the garden club to toss a wishing well our way, but they constantly whine about bugs, dying plants, and worse, they dare to insult our flamingos!
YOU are the only trash in my yard, missy. Plastic flamingos reek of class!
But there was one sim that actually frightened me, because I’m not use to successful sims.
“Oh, look at that, I just maxed my dance skills on my own. Maybe if she doesn’t notice me, I can actually win a few more scholarships.”
“Now you’re just showing off, dear.”
Nose has talents too, like he cooks random turkey and makes out with girls he just met.
Sim Tips for the Legacy Player by Candi. So the hardest part about handicaps is maxing the hobby that goes with it. For example, Fearless means you must take every chance card, have no burglar alarm, and repair all electrical objects. However, you must also have the founder or heirs have a 10 interest in crime, or max game hobby. At first, I was going with max game hobby, which Angel did but it was painful and wasted tons of time. Instead, choose the interest and buy the magazine with that interest. Your sim only has to spend like 5 minutes reading it, and their interest goes right to 10. Go interest, go magazines, you heard it here first.
Pierre died, and no one even noticed. Except maybe Satan, who is getting his dog back. He’s probably peeing all over the Netherlands by now. Enjoy bathing him every fricking day, Grimster!
Still, he gets his plot, right under the family founding apple tree, that might need tending. Don’t judge me. Let the graves begin.
“Why does this family keep calling us over here? Their plants aren’t cutting it. Did you see the apple tree, it’s literally dying. And their founding tree reeks of bugs! What kind of legacy family is this. They usually have perfect gardens.”
Day 3 of the garden club…
Wendy rolls a want to go out on a date, so she goes to Don’s Chili Palace with David Ottoman. Who immediately fills her in on his dysfunctional family.
“Here, let me throw some food on you in a romantic gesture.”
“Wow, so this is Candi’s Uglacy. I don’t know, I thought they’d be, well, more ugly.”
“Can you guys stop throwing food everywhere? I have to clean it up.”
And David and Wendy did seem to hit it off, unfortunately he is a CAS sim with some serious family issues going on, so he was just pre-college aspirational fodder. Unless she becomes a spare and really wants to ruin her life. Then we’ll talk about it.
David leaves a hot tub as an after date present! Say what? His family is dirt poor. Is this drug money. Is that kid selling bubbles or what?!
“So Peppy, I leave for college tomorrow. Now you be a good puppy, don’t grow up too freakishly ugly. And try not to dig dad’s garden up so he can finally get that wishing well.”
It was time for Noseferatu and Wendy to go off to college. Staying in the well-dressed tradition, they got brand new wardrobes for college and unfortunately, Wendy is sporting quite the distorted muffin top there. Exhibiting their father’s sense of intelligence, they suddenly realized they knew each other.
Moody was Noseferatu’s dog. He went deep into the red when Nose went off to college. He wouldn’t eat, he just laid on the street… all the years I played Sims 2 I never realized pets miss their owners when they go off to college. Moody went moody alright.
And Angel finally gets her lifetime want!!! Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah!!!
“Hmm, so you’re saying I don’t really need the wishing well?”
“WOW! Quinton likes this! It is like winning the Sim Lottery. There’s got to be some kind of rule against this. It’s too easy.”
The third bag of cash landed on Moody. He was 
“So Sam, I have a genie in my front yard (*sounds like a song*), and I can wish for anything. I’m going to wish for something everybody wants…”
Genie: “So okay, lady, what’s it going to be…”
A quick inside view of Little and Local, starting to take off. It’s a level 3 now. And it just won the Best of the Best award. To spite Nervous throwing out negative stars.
Meanwhile, back at college, Wendy has found love at first sight in the Landgrabb dorms.
Noseferatu rolls the want to be a vampire, oddly symbolic since he was named after the first Dracula film. However, he did not get the aspiration points (*cough, cough,rip off).
“So you maxed all your skills. Wow. I heard your legacy sort of struggles with success.”
“Seriously Nose!”
With max skills point, Wendy begins to use her time to develop an army of robots. She also excels in tinkering so this is cake for her, like everything she does. She rolls the want to major in literature, which she did, and Nose rolls the wants to major in Physics. Unbelievable. Einstein he’s not.
Next up it’s time to convince the members of the Uglacy Greek House to let Nose and Wendy get in. Let the painful social interactions began. Time for a nice chat.
And the geeky glasses, school cheering, and pathetic attempts to force relationship points commences.
Oh this looks like the Countess’s handiwork.
“Yay, Welcome to the Greek House, Nose!”
So Nose leaves for the Greek House his sophomore year, saying his final “Good Blehs” on the way out the door.
“Yaayyy, let’s go tell Wendy she’s in too!”
“What, is this my birthday? Did I finally get a party?”
The Uglacy Greek House is now level 6! It consists of 7 college students trying to maintain 4.0 GPAs. Kill me, kill me now.
“Excuse me sir…”
“Dude, I am not Van Helsing and I don’t give a crap about your dark powers. Just get in the limo so we can give you this secret blazer!”
And under the soft glow of the cowplant, Viola Suwnaki was instantly smitten.
“How dare that tramp look at you!” *smack, smack, smack…*
“Yeah, you guys just stand over there and play kicky ball, well I fix this computer in the glow of my amazing ability to be in the zone.”
Not that Wendy is quite up to servo level yet.
“Dude, I think I got a bad trip.”
“Is he dead?”
Meet Richard Leon, an unsuspecting freshman that was the first to go for the cake. It had been a while since I created a zombie, so I had forgotten a few minor details.
Richard was instantly a household member. But hey, that’s cool. So I have one zombie stinking up the Greek House. It’s not like he will really eat brains or anything…
But Richard moves in only to start attacking everyone… starting with Wendy.
“Sorry dude, did anyone ever tell you that you suck at being a zombie.”
But Richard was smart. He would roll wants to get body points and autonomously pull out a jump rope. GADS. What sim does that?!!!
But then the inevitable happened…
“HAhaha, one down, six to go!” Yes, he did have the nerve to look right at me and cheer.
Of course if a little “accident” should happen, that wouldn’t be technically cheating…
“It tis zokay, Shiela. It was not like you gathered your lovers on your good lookz anyway, no? Now dee men will vant you for your charming personality, no?”
“Get off of me you zombie freak!”
Uh oh, this is getting totally out of hand. Worse, they start attacking passer-bys, and they really like professors. Probably big brains. Still, I was determined to get Nose and Wendy through college, and they have like 8 and 10 body points, so they are fairly safe.
The sentry that Wendy built seemed to know the zombies were bad news and shocked them on a regular basis.
Still there is a certain thrill with brain eating zombies. I was hoping he would attack the Diva, but instead he rolled the want to date her.
Sadly, my brain eating zombies were getting more action than my potential heirs. Mainly because I was trying to keep them doing anything but eating brains.
Nose is dating a few girls, he acts more like a romance sim than a knowledge one. His Junior year he rolled popularity with a lifetime want to be a celebrity chef. His second aspiration he rolled knowledge again. Well, he is popular with the ladies at least.
Wendy rolls pleasure her Junior year with a lifetime want for 50 dream dates. Her secondary aspiration is family. Wendy is skilled out and has maxed tinkering. She keeps the house in tip top shape. Still there are a few mishaps with the dishwasher on occasion…
“If you are even thinking Brains, sister, you better think again.”
But Nose has the most “mishaps” of all, because he decides to go chasing butterflies in broad daylight instead of staying in his coffin! UGH!
“Oh nooo, not Nose. I must plea for his life. Please Grimmy, give him back to us.”
Meanwhile, Heather Huffington continues to plague the home in hopes of being asked to live here. Oddly, the zombies don’t attack her. Much to my dismay.
And I am not the only one who is tired of the zombies. Christopher had had enough.
However Shiela does have one secret power, she can seduce anyone. Not that Heather Huffington here takes a lot of effort. She’s kind of the “go to girl” of the university.
And then the zombies killed my game… literally. It started when Aurora, for the millionth time, decided to attack Phil as they were coming home from class.
After hours of trying to fix the lot, cleaning cache files, and researching error codes, there was only on thing I could do, and that was to move the Greek house. They took a real hit from the move, only have 4000 something dollars, and had to buy this little two bedroom for 8 sims. They lost their knowledge bookcase and snapdragons that Wendy had brought with her, her mechanic table, her sewing machine, her garden, and the college portraits of the Uglacies. Oh yeah, and Nose lost his pool table, his drum set, and his coffin. You can see where his priorities were. They ended up on Peanut Street, with literally… peanuts.
“So with the lousy 800 dollars we had left, you get a coffin!”
I don’t know why we wasted our money though because it’s not like he stays in his coffin.
“Please Grimmy, you have no idea how crappy this chapters been. Can you let him live just one more time?”
Finally, there was only one thing to do. Good bye zombies. Normally I would never kick anyone out of a Legacy Greek House, but I wasn’t about to risk another crash and the loss of my heirs. All their fighting and fight memories were likely causing the lot to glitch it up. It was time to bid “Adios” to the three musketeers of zombieville.
At last Nose and Wendy graduated after the most painful college chapter I have ever done in my simming career. Nose wanted a toga party, and all the Uglacies were invited. Nothing like blowing bubbles with Don and Gage to get a party score up.
Of course it got a little creepy when Samara wandered over and started heart farting over her great grandson.
It was time for me to break the good news to Wendy.
“Congratulations, Wendy. I know the heirship means more to you than Nose.”
“Oh Wendy, we are so proud of you. An actual overachieving Uglacy.”
“And YOU! YOU need to get that fricking, flipping hack out of this game! It causes Zombie prejudice and nearly killed my two grand kids. How can you suck so bad at this?”
“See you back in Strangetown, Wendy.”
And let’s just say it fits your pleasure aspiration alright.
“I can’t believe Gage Uglacy, my arched nemesis, is back in Strangetown. I thought I was finally rid of him and his heathen ways.” Knits furiously… “How can this be? Things have been so quiet since everyone went to play Sims 3. All those nasty simselfs have moved on. Especially that Candi one, beseeching the clean ideas behind legacy living, hard work, and wholesome families. Why I remember when legacy families were a thing of pride, not abominations like Gage.” Knits even more furiously… “With that disgusting troll roaming the streets, I have to get some more bricks for my purse. Oh, I hope Grimmy likes this sweater. I never can tell if he wears them, with that dark cloak get up.”
Welcome back to the Uglacy Family, revived and still alive thanks to my Hard Drive. Woah, I am a poet. Anyway, I don’t do recaps well, so you might want to read the other chapters, but let’s just say Gage and I had made a bargain, involving simselfs and one angry zombie. In return for putting some simselfs back in the game, Gage would butter Don up for me. Our first victim… er addition… CowforBrains. She took her simself off the exchange years ago, but I had her in my hard drive. Well not her… but her simself. Anyway, she is still killing sims “accidently” and recently uploaded a story at the Boolprop Forum last month, but she hasn’t logged on in the last couple weeks. Heh, heh, she’s in for a treat when she does.
Our firstborn, Nosferatu was basically a miserable little brat. He has the worse personality with 10 playful points (KILL Me now). He was constantly unhappy, the little $&!#!!!
“I HATE ice cream. It sucks!”
But Quinomei (heh, heh,see what I did) rolled the typical knowledge want of getting precious little Nose into a private school. Headmasters… I still have PTSD when I see them coming. Still, we whip out the chili and let the butt kissing commence…
“What do you want to be Nosferatu when you grow up?”
Let’s look behind the scenes on this one. While trying to feed the headmaster we are at 8/90 points. Yes, be amazed. And Lassie picks this time to have her puppies, all 3 of them. In addition, that is a baby on the floor and 2 notebooks of homework left in the living room. Not to mention the keg in the kitchen. Plus if you look closely, Angel is rolling wants to call her old boyfriend from college. Now if this doesn’t say classy family to this headmaster, why I don’t know what would. And just when I thought it couldn’t get worse…
“So Mr. Headmaster, let’s talk balls.”
Maybe it’s just better if we don’t know how the Uglacies got little Nosferatu into an elite private school. *cough, cough*
With the fiasco going on, poor Wendy doesn’t get a birthday party. But she does get sparkles and… *drumroll*
An awesome doo! How many toddlers grow up in a beehive bun! My first thought when I saw this… it’s staying! So stats are 9/2/6/2/10. Wendy is nothing like her brother (THANK goodness for a little thing I like to call randomizing in CAS before a baby is born. No firstborn effect here). She’s neat, shy, active, but not insanely so, and serious. And she has 10 nice points!!! Woah… another Angel.
Wendy is basically a lonely child that lives with the dogs. Sort of like the Jungle Book.
When I can’t find her, I look for the dogs. And there she is, thinking she is one of the puppies and living on kibbles and bits. It doesn’t help that the nanny is completely incompetent.
Insert bad Austrian accent…”Nosferatu, let me pump you up with homework! Quinten is a smarty pants principal, your mudder is a univerzity speaker, how is it going to look if zuch a brilliant super couple’s kid getz terminated from school for being a girly man and doing his homework? Your grades are terrible. Zhis is not allowed! How are you going to learn to talk in the third person and be a manly man if you don’t pazz school?”
“I don’t care. I want to play! I’m bored. This sucks! And NO, I do not want to play chess! I don’t feel like that right now! I don’t care if I have a D! YOU can’t make me! I want to have fun!”
Well don’t look at me Quinomei, he’s your kid.
Meanwhile, totally neglected again…
“Burp” *wipes mouth on nasty granny sweater sleeve*
NO! Bad dog Pierre, how dare you beat up the mother of your puppies! And Lassie would never be taken down by a foo foo poodle.
Oh but she was. You jerk, Pierre. I should boolprop the tombstone of death right now! It was at this moment I realized who Pierre looked like…
“We come in peace, heh,heh.”
It’s midnight. Do you know where your toddler is?
“Arrgh! I just got demoted cause you picked the wrong card again, and Quinten keeps getting promoted! The puppies are peeing all over the house, the nanny is constantly drunk, my husband only runs around in his underwear, my kid is a brat, my other kid is being raised by wolves! I thought you knew how to run a legacy. MY aspiration is tanking.”
“Oh hi Phil. How are you? Yes it has been a long time. Yea, since I dumped you for the Komei lookalike. Uh huh. Well I know I was never attracted to you in college, but now I am obsessed with calling you. Romance sim, ha, don’t be silly. I’m family, remember?”
“Now little man, we are going to do those three notebooks of homework you have been ignoring. Your father did not schmooze the headmaster with questionable methods so you could fail school.”
“Hi Nosferatu. I’m Nancy. You invited me over to play after school. Wanna play tag?”
Quinomei, you are not feeding that to Wendy. On the other hand, if you want to put it all over Nose’s cheerios, I got no problem with that.
Winning in the puppy race is Folly! Folly is the only girl and the only puppy that Angel rolls wants to snuggle, play with, etc… So it looks like she will carry on the best of breed for the Uglacies. I wonder how cute she will be!
Oh, um… oh my. This looks like a cross between a wolf and a lamb. Just creepy. Guess breeding a poodle to a collie was a bad idea. At this rate the dogs are going to beat the family in the ugly department. I actually wasn’t going for that, but hey, while in Rome…
Worse, Frick attacks Lassie as soon as he grows up. Poor Lassie, she’s so nice and doesn’t fit into this family’s pack of vicious, alien, poodled wolves.
Time for a party, but for safety reasons, my simself did not attend.
“OH my gosh, fire, fire! What to do?!”
So has Don, apparently. Notice the fire is evident in the left corner. But did he run out like most idiotic sims do. Oh no. He just sat there, eating his chips. Calmly.
Really Quinomei? You just won a cooking contest the last chapter, and now you burn burgers!
Every now and then, something sweet happens in my little families. In this case, Gage Jr. falls in love with Lassie and played with her throughout the whole party. Poor Lassie was largely neglected by the family, other than Wendy, and abused by the other dogs. So I had Angel give Lassie to G.J. Hopefully, Daddy Gage won’t mind all the dog hair on his animal printed furniture.
Time for yet another birthday party, today we are doing two for the price of one. First up, little Wendy.
“Good grief, she grew up in those trashy UFO pajamas!”
Next up, Nosferatu.
“Oh my gosh!”
“Wow, I suddenly feel like joining the military career and running an obstacle course!”
“Did Angel have an affair with General Grunt? Because that really is going to be unforgivable.”
Geesh Gage Jr. Make yourself at home why don’t you?
Speaking of the house, although trashed and covered in dog pee puddles, it has been expanded into a super sized Barbie townhouse! The roof is already glitchy, but I don’t want to talk about that.
Now it’s time for Angel’s day of Hell. So I really like Angel, because well, she kind of reminds me of me. She does not have the best luck in life. First, another chance card causes her to be demoted to high school teacher. Quinomei is way ahead of her and is the principal, which is insulting because I know who the smarter sim is.
Angel had realized from the night before that it was time to get rid of some of the pups, as the house was becoming trashed. The hell hounds (as I like to call them) were reeking havoc on the Uglacy home.
But of course, we want the pups to get good homes, so Angel gives Frick or Frack, who the heck knows, anyway, she gives one of them to Samantha Ottoman, as Samantha practically lives with the Uglacies, and what a lovely canine companion they would make for any child on the way.
Samantha immediately realized she was duped.
Of course, the dogs did stink. So Angel decided to give Pierre a bath, only Pierre had other ideas, and being the jerk dog he is always is, he wouldn’t let Angel bathe him.
Most of the time I make fun of my sim’s suffering… but I actually did feel sorry for Angel. She had a complete melt down and started to cry. Pierre running off filthy was the last straw for her. Angel strikes me as kind of a neurotic perfectionist, who tries to project the golden standard of being a flawless working mom and ends up a hot mess instead.
“Quinten, what are you doing here, with that gaming lady?”
Then Quinomei goes over and ADMIRES the exterminator. Excuse me, mister…
Even more disturbing, he swims in the pool, just long enough to change into his sexy swim suit, and then runs into the TV room with Samara and the game lady, and proceeds to exhibit himself.
Angel and I were both tempted to poke, push, argue and insult Quinomei, or insert a few tokens ourselves, however no harm had been done… yet. So instead, Angel decided to take advantage of the situation.
So Quinomei and Angel went to Botanical Gardens, where they had their first date. They would have made Don proud ordering the chili. The date lifted both their spirits, kind of like the poor married couple they were that had gotten so caught up in the day to day crap that they had forgotten what was most important.
Like public woohoo in a photo booth!
The next night, Nose brings a friend home from school, but in typical Nose fashion, completely ignores him. Apparently Tank Grunt actually showed up to get his clothes back, and I was just kidding. Worse, he apparently had a little thing for Angel and followed her around all night.
He even follows Angel outside to the patio and eats rotten grilled cheese with her.
Meanwhile, over at Gage’s house, Michelle Young’s simself makes an appearance, but she is a simself with a mission.
“But first let me start by showing you this… MY BRAND NEW CAR!”
Oh my, a cheetah mobile. Obviously someone at Mod the Sims made the perfect car for Gage. Now time for the safari, I mean tour.
“Oh Gage, this is so you. It’s just what I expected.”
“Is that the Girls Next Door?”
“And this is my dining room, baby. It was no easy feat to find zebra chairs, I can tell you. I mean what’s wrong with these furniture designers nowadays. Back in the day, animal prints were in hot demand on download sites.”
Now Michelle is really playing with fire. Gage’s bedroom is one place any self-respecting sim would avoid.
Michelle! What are you doing?! Stay away from the…
hot tub… *sigh* Simselfs, hot tubs, and Gage. Every flipping time. By the way, Gage was none too happy when Goopy jumped in.
“Um Candi, you think we should go warn Michelle that hot tubbing with those clowns isn’t a good idea.”
So here it is, Gage’s condo, which is a maxis made condo just revamped. Very revamped. Bottom floor has living room, kitchen, dining room, 2 bathrooms, and Gage’s master bedroom. Yes, that is my simself watching TV. I still live with Gage temporarily, but I want to make it clear, I sleep on the sofa. Much to his dismay.
And this is the second floor, where I added an outdoor patio, bar, and bubble blower. And yes, that is Michell at 3 AM in the morning still blowing bubbles with Gage and Gage Jr. And NO she does not live here, but she won’t leave now.
So I realized that in all my legacy playing, I’ve never enjoyed my Bon Voyage expansion. I always had the family skilling,skilling, skilling. And personally, I am sick of it. So from now on, more vacations!!! Only, Quinomei and Angel didn’t have a lot of money, so free camping it is. They book a vacation to the Axe Wood Campgrounds. First up fishing… the family that fishes together…erm, I don’t know. Catches fish? Let’s have a little competition.
In the lead with a big mouth bass, weighing in at 20 pounds, is Angel. This was her first catch folks. Be amazed! Camping makes fishing easy!
Also in the competition, Wendy catches a 19 pound catfish. Wow, my sims have never done this! I can’t wait to see what the guys catch.
Wow Quinomei, that’s just sad.
And that is sadder! You guys suck at this. Girls rule. At fishing no less. You two should go toast marshmallows or can your sardines, or hide your faces in shame.
Bass with buttered squash? That’s making me hungry. How was it Angel?
“Wow Bill, isn’t this bass and squash delicious?! One of those sappy legacy families just served the whole campground. Haha, suckers!”
Worse, they are pigs and leave their plates everywhere, knocking my sims environment bar down. These aren’t paper plates you JERKS!!! Poor Angel was always having to clean up after them. It reminded me of the Secret Society.
All townies are weird but the camping townies were really, really creepy. This guy would not leave Wendy alone and he had no relationship with her. He kept asking her to dance…
“But can I cut in? My turn. Come on, let me have a turn. I’m going to stand here staring at you with my glitched up face until you do.”
“Mommy’s going to do a lot more than dance with him.”
The moochy campers were getting on our last nerve, so finally I figure out how to confuse them. Townies are generally stupid, so it doesn’t take much. Just put the food on the ground and they can’t figure it out for about five minutes, giving the Uglacies a chance to grab a plate and eat before these vultures swoop in.
Wanting to be culturally sensitive and all, Quinomei and Nose head down to the local lodge and learn the “slap” dance. It’s kind of the backwoods folks version of the smustle.
Quinomei, Nose, and Wendy all roll the want to see Bigfoot. Heck, I rolled the want to see Bigfoot. So after researching it, I figure out you have to go on a tour, to get a secret map, to go to his secret lair.
Quinomei: “Being a principal, you kids should just let me read the map. My intellectual ability sayz Bigfoot is zomewhere in dee woodz…”
Hence, it was no surprise that she got all kinds of aspiration points for meeting Bigfoot.
“I would introduce you to my dad and brother, but they’re stupid and are playing redhands like a pair of idiots.”
“So don’t you want some marshmallows, Alon?”
Meanwhile, Angel finds BigFace and feeds it.
Angel introduces Jessie to Wendy. They hit it off, and not in that creepy townie way. He has no idea what I’m, I mean Angel, is up to. He played ball with her and listened to her lame kid jokes.
Nosferatu was not really having a very good time camping with his family. In fact, he was the typical teenager and was miserable most of the time. The camping weirdos weren’t helping the situation.
“Let me beat my chest for you. It is the greeting of us woods folk.”
“Well it’s our last night Quinten. Wasn’t this great? Bonding with the kids, getting close to nature, meeting new and exciting people. Most legacy families never see a vacation.”
When I first saw this, I thought, wow, that sim sleeps weird. Can sims have seizures? But then I realized…
She was falling on her face… haha. Apparently hammocks take some sort of skill points. Anyhow, that’s all I have for this chapter. Next time we will get back to the old grind of legacy living. Until then, happy simming. And watch those hammocks!
My Simself face says it all. I realize that over the years I have forgotten some crucial things about my Uglacy family. It all started when Zip Uglacy showed up at Gage’s house…
“HOW could you?!”
“What?! I am sure I would know if she were my great, great granddaughter. She was some townie from the Chili Catastrophe Apocalypse, the last story I was writing before the whole Sims 2 exchange collapsed. Ohhhh, the Apocalypse… wait a second, now I remember.” So now I realize I need a recap, not just for the readers, but myself. And this recap is from years and years ago… Pay attention people, this gets tricky. Pull out the old family photos…
Somewhere in all the story writing and poking fun, characters emerged. Characters like Samara, worse mom ever, and Don the Zombie. Probably one of the most notorious legacy love stories on the exchange. Now up until Don, I don’t remember of anyone adding a zombie to their legacy family. And this was back in the days when zombies weren’t cool, pre-Walking Dead. They couldn’t make heirs. And worse, they had no personality. But Don proved that theory wrong to me and many, many readers.
“Cleo! My great, great granddaughter! Now I remember you. Give Nana a hug.”
“Buzz off grandma. It’s too late to apologize.” 
It’s too late to apologize, it’s too late, I said it’s too late to apologize, it’s too late…Woahooo woah…
I was feeling pretty low about this. This was terrible sim playing, even by my standards. Don wouldn’t even take my calls. Not that I could blame him. Years of being in my hard drive, abandoned, and now I return and call family members random townies?! I needed advice on how to win Don’s cold, dead heart back, and there was only one sim that could help me or would help me. The last sim I’d ever thought I’d need advice from…
“Gage, about Don… you two have always had this bond…”
Immediately, it seemed like the outing was going bad. The town diva went straight for Gage’s heart, and I do mean literally.
“Hey Don, hi.”
“Don, come on, you can’t ignore me forever. Think of everything we’ve been through. 2 Legacies, half an apocalypse, and a couple side stories.”
“Yeah, think of everything we’ve been through, and then you just abandoned us to play your new Sims3 game. And calling Cleo a random townie because you literally forgot her and Angel until you needed a founder, that’s pathetic. Well I’m not about to forgive you. Run along and play Sims 4, you know you want to.”
“Now what, Gage. He still hates me.”
“So everyone, I’d like to dedicate this song to Don…”
“Hello from the other side
“OH damanation dad, she’s terrible!”
“Uh, is that a cat dying a horrible, excruciating death? My eardrums are bleeding.”
We waste no time, because really, who wants to see pics of a toilet in the sand. Someone is out there is raising their hand… well tough. Angel starts out with $4.800 and this lovely engagement ring.
To propose to the man of her dreams, Quinten Tellerman…okay thats not really his last name, but come on, he’s a Komei look-a-like.
Of course he said yes while this stupid photo bomber circled the couple and ruined the pics.
Immediately Angel celebrated by downing an entire six pack of beer.
Then heart farting over Vicund. Really? Family sims are the worse by far. At least with a romance sim, you know exactly what you’re dealing with.
Point in case, my simself arrives wedged between Gage and Gage Jr. whose conversation I cannot began to tell you… (Banned 4life, only Sims can’t do that now, so there). Both of them actually wolf whistled at me as I was trapped. True story.
“Really Gage?!”
Now I am admittedly a terrible sim player, but the one thing I do do well is parties, well I do have my secret weapon Don the zombie, but first things boys and girls is ALWAYS have ample booze. We can’t afford a bar yet, but this nifty keg from Mod The Sims will do.
Unfortunately, everyone was boozing up and polluting the lot with red solo cups while Angel and Quinten tied the knot. It was so romantic.
“So you really want to get that party score up, little lady, cause we could make out.”
Beer and Butterflies, love was in the air…
The good thing about the Uglacies, is that they don’t need much to have a good time (other than booze and dirty jokes). They went right into a competitive game of hacky sac…
If only there was a handicap with points for roof raisers, I would totally nail a legacy.
Immediately following the wedding party, Angel goes shopping! This is the first legacy where I am going to play the well-dressed handicap. So how it works. Each sim must have their own wardrobe, and the rules are kind of fuzzy on when, it implies everyone needs an adult and elder set by midnight of the first night, which would be like a kazillion dollars no legacy has. Hey, these are poor kids straight out of college. After I read the rules a little closer, it sounds like they have to have their whole wardrobe by midnight of their new age… because anything else would be insane and impossible. So I am going with that. She buys an outfit in every category for her and Quinten, which was plenty of money, let me tell you. Sim outfits are not cheap.
With Quinten’s other $4000 they were able to build a very minimal house with the awesome roof I added. (I really suck at roof tops.) Looks like a minecraft project.
The inside was done in lovely pepto bismol pink decor as per Angel’s desire.
In addition to being well dressed,this family will have a family breed, a dog every generation bred back to Pierre here, who I paid no attention to when we bought and ended up with an aggressive, finicky, lazy doofus for a dog. I hit the pet jackpot!
“Well I guess we have $6.00 left after buying that dumb dog. Quinten must look for work now. Dur… test subject, that sounds easy.”
So Angel gets a job as a Sea Lice Assistant for the money, and is immediately promoted.
“Arrgh, I hate my life, I hate this house, I hate this lot!”
As a matter of fact, there is something cooking, the little bun is in the oven.
“Oh my gosh, Angel, are you pregnant?” *Surprised gasp*
“Baby shower?! I don’t do no flipping baby showers. You probably don’t even have booze, mascots, or a bubble blower here. This blows. Who throws baby showers in the sims?”
“Wow that dog is uglier then I remember. What was I drinking, I mean thinking when I had her adopt him?”
“I’m so glad you came by, Miss Candi. Now about this plan for world domination…”
“Hey baby, I’m here.”
“Hey cuz, so you’re popping out another Uglacy, eh? Well I don’t know if it can beat my handsome mug, but congratulations.”
“Look, I don’t want to complain, the spaghetti is good, but don’t you guys think you should have served chili? I mean Don’s coming, and you know how butt hurt he gets.”
“Slurp, smurg, gobble, gobble…”
“Is that… dramatic pause… spaghetti?”
“NO chili! What kind of family get together is this?!”
“YOU traitor. First you play the sims 3 and now you have my granddaughter serve spaghetti at a family function? You know our traditional food is chili. Why I ought to…”
“Wow, I have never been on the outs with Don before. Well maybe if this legacy goes well, maybe then he’ll forgive me.”
“You will be glad to know, Grandma, that I have my fashion at 10 points and I just bought a toddler outfit in every category for my baby to be. I have this well dressed sim down to an art.”
“Gorvitz to the right, Gorvitz to the left… gooo Gervitz. Want to see me cheer one more time Mr. Uglacy?!”
And then this happened, now keep in mind, I am not controlling me or Don. We are at Angel’s house and our relationship started out just a little beneath neutral. I can’t believe we are enemies!!! Tell me it’s not so. His pixelated self really is pissed at me.
Fortunately, there was no time for Don and mine’s drama. For Angel went into labor right as her shower was ending.
“That’s my cue to leave, darling. I don’t do babies, unless it’s babymaking of course.”
Quinten is not doing any better than Gage, he’s sleeping through the whole thing. Here he was a knowledge sim who rolled a want for a baby. Pfft. Don’t get too excited there.
“OH wait, my spidey senses are saying something major is happening!”
Meet Nosferatu, in the Uglacy tradition of naming after horror films. Don’t know who that is? Oh, I bet you do.
The oldest dracula on film (I think). Nosferatu was the vampire of the 1920’s, before you know, they got all hot and everything.
“Mommy is sorry, little Nose, but I have to go back to work to continue to make sure this family is well dressed. Unfortunately education won’t open up, so mommy has to be a dive master. Don’t worry though, we have a professional nanny to take care of you.”
Who misses the nanny?! Oh come on, you know you do. Why she is a wonderful, caring professional for your little sims. You can be assured of excellent care of your heirs and spares! She not neglected that baby, oh no, she is giving it tummy time! Er, or back time, same difference.
Hey wait one stinking minute, there. It’s a good thing I installed the nanny cam! She stealing our beer, and you know, not taking care of the kid too. But our beer! Now that’s just wrong!
“Mrs. Allister? Are you okay?”
Meanwhile, Angel continues to work on the family death portrait. Which always takes nearly a lifetime to paint.
“Quinten sad, there are no education jobs in the paper or the computer. How will Quinten ever get promoted and get his lifetime want?”
And Angel brings home her lookalike best friend, Samantha Ottoman.
Samantha becomes that one friend. You know the one, the one who never leaves. Who thinks they live with you, and they eat all your food and drink all your beer.
And then rudely try to hog your bathroom. Geesh Samantha. Go home already.
But Uglacy parties can be a little complicated. So of course Samantha shows up, well she never left, but anyhow, she falls for Gage, who is considering… well you see the lips. Meanwhile Gage Junior is also heart farting over Samantha, and Angel just wants to get Nosferatu to the cake before he grows up. It was a cluster of wannabe actions gone wrong.
By the time Angel gets Nose to the cake, Cleo starts heart farting over Gage… really Cleo! In front of your husband, Zip no less. You’re rolling wants for his big brother, missy.
Finally, it looks like Quinten managed to get him to the cake. (The cake was in an impossible place on the counter, so we fix that).
The Uglacies are pretty excited about this first legacy baby. Even Samara is thrilled.
Oh well that is kind of disappointing. He looks… normal. However his personality is anything but! 9/4/9/10/3… He’s a neat freak, overactive, playful, mean little brat. Already the true Uglacy genes are coming through.
Immediately, he makes a run for it through the freezing snow. Great.
Surprisingly, the one relative who takes an interest in Nose is Uncle Gage.
Being the typical family sim, as soon as Nosferatu turns toddler, Angel rolls her wants…I’m on board because our goals are kind of the same.
The nanny wars have begun!
The house gets an upgrade. Look it’s Barbie’s townhouse!
Quinten’s hair gets an upgrade! (If you like the bozo the clown look).
And the toddler gets upgraded. Woot, one whole skill set! I rule. So what if he never learned to walk or talk.
But alas, not everything in life can be upgraded. Don’t you throw your stick at me, Gage! OH wow, that sounded bad.
Meanwhile, Angel is one of my hardest working, smartest sims ever, she would be perfect if she didn’t continually roll wants to call her ex boyfriend from college. *familysimsareclosetromancefreaks*
“Arrrrgh! The baby’s coming!”
Meet Wendy, um yes, a girl. Wendy is named after the woman who was married to the psycho in The Shining. You remember…
Sure, sure I know you’re thinking, well Wendy wasn’t really a monster… but I don’t know. This “victim” sure had an arsenal of weapons…and facial expressions.
Toot the horns and throw the confetti, after mastering toilet training, Nose is growing up!
“YAY!!! Look at me!”
“It’s a good thing SHE didn’t show up here. I’ve been so mad, I can’t even season my chili right.”
To start working on our family breed, we bring a collie home, Lassie, whose personality is a desperate attempt to fix Pierre’s genes. She a friendly genius, who Nose immediately attacks and tries to knaw her leg off. Nice. You might be an Uglacy after all, kid.
Meanwhile, Quinten will not stop rolling the want to enter a cook off. He apparently got Don’s recipe and had to give it a go. So down to Sue’s Kitchen we go. He looks a little nervous.
*Add bad french accent* “Wee, I cannot believe the legacy man brought chileeee. I have my French Vanilla cake from a hundred year old recipeee from the kings of France. How dare he place that atrociteee on this table with my beautiful cake!”
“Hello, Mr. Uglacy. What meat went into this chili? It’s delicious!”
“YES! I knew Don’s Chili wouldn’t let me down! First place, baby.”
Chef Boyardee: “Realleee! Your Chilee beat my divine vanilla cake. This was not fair, not fair I say! I demand a new judge!”
“Oh my gosh, Samantha! You’re pregnant, we, I mean I just realized it. I thought you were just some random townie, whose the daddy? No REALLY, who?”
What the frick! Step away from the Keg Missy, that cannot be good for your baby!
“OH Gage, what am I going to do? I can’t even go to the kids’ birthday parties for fear Don will beat the crud out of me. He’s so mad at me. We’re even enemies… waaaah.”
“ARRRRRRRRRGH!!!!”
“What the Hell, Gage?! YOU can’t comfort me 2 seconds without acting like a jerk?”
“Listen, I can probably talk to Don on your behalf and be one of those meditators…”
“So psssk, psssk, pssssk, psssssk, and oh yeah… psssk, pssssk, pssssk, pssssk.”
“What, you want me to what?!”
“I can’t believe that baboon talked me into this. Okay, okay, where can I find some Sim 2 players. AHA. The Boolprop forum. Yea, yea, I mean if someone uploads their simself that’s like begging to be in a story… erm right? Let’s see, I could ask permission.
“Candi, you are so DEAD.”
“Listen Angel, I don’t want to mislead you. Legacy living is not for the weak of heart. It involves a lawn and very little money. The founder has it the roughest. In addition, I suck at it. You should know that right up front. So Angel before we get started, I wanted to explain the rules a little. A legacy is 10 generations that can earn points for various things. On top of that, there can be no cheating. EVER. No boolprop, mods, spawning the happy baby, no crap like that.”
“OH, I would never cheat. Cheaters are nasty pumpkin eaters!”
Plus I may add some handicaps like free roaming ghosts, storyteller, the well dressed sim, and fearless…”
OH, I’m so excited. I can’t wait to get started!”
“Grandma Samara, I’m going to college, just like you did when you meant Grandpa Don! Maybe I will meet the love of life there too!”
“So Gage Jr., I have a little favor to ask of you. Remember how I sent you to college before and never graduated you.”
“Well this is it baby, Sim State… I can’t believe you were chosen to bring this legacy back to life.”
“Just remember Angel, boys are nasty creatures who only want one thing.”
Oh Caferteria man, how I have missed you. Faithfully serving up your mac and cheese.
“So Gage, we have to work on money. As legacy university kids, our goal will be to build a fraternity house by our junior year that future Uglacy kids can attend.”
“Cuz, relax, I got lots of way to make money.” O__O
“Hello, would you like to make out with my cousin for five dollars?”
Angel absolutely loves dancing, but she dances like I play the sims.
I think Gage Jr. was trying to help her, but this picture is rather disturbing. That’s pretty close for cousins. They are actually cousins in their family tree. Thank God, or this could get really creepy… creepier. Whatever.
“So my Grandpa Don makes the best chili ever. He owns the Chili Cafe in Strangetown.”
“Kaylynn, what have we told you about demonic possession in the cafeteria.”
Angel is after my own heart and immediately rolls the want to major in literature, taking the storytelling handicap seriously. I am so proud *sob*.
Gage Jr. rolls the want to major in Art, which sounds like him, probably wants to paint nudes.
How nice, sweet sims attend college…
How not so sweet sims attend college…
How nice, sweet sims attend college…
How not so sweet sims attend college…
“Hey guys, whatcha doing? Want to see me dance? I’m getting good at this.”
“Shake it good baby, shake it good… let’s all dance together. We can do the Macarana!”
“Finally, baby, alone at last. Come here Whitney! Give me some loving.”
“What are you doing Gage Jr.? Are you busy?
“Cousin, seriously?! Whitney and I need some alone time.”
The next morning at breakfast: Angel proves she has a big mouth.
And as if that wasn’t bad enough…
I was tired of Angels creepy obsession with Gage Jr.’s love life, so I decided she needed one of her own.
“Hi Phil. I’m glad you could come over.”
“So do you like tender kissing, smooching, kissing up the arm, making out, I mean what kind of action are we talking here?”
“So can I move into the secret society? I heard you guys have all kinds of ugly guys.”
3 Secret Society Friends and the world is ours! Slap on the social glasses and do a school cheer! How I have missed these crazy interactions. Gooo Gervitz… or maybe it Gerbits, or Gerbils… I donno. But I love it.
“Wow, I barely know that girl, and yet I feel so connected. Like I could tell her about being gay when no one knows.”
“So my cousin has been dating Phil Barakat. He’s one of those freaky secret society kids that think they are a secret when their goofy jackets obviously give it away. I want to make sure he’s an okay guy, Whitney. You know, um, not like me.”
OH my gosh, Phil is dreamy. I’d totally do him.”
“So Phil, I wanted to put my first flirt out there and charm you. Are you charmed?”
“Oh Phil. I think we should go out for our first date. Somewhere nice, like Oresha’s Family Dining.”
“What’s your problem mister? Can’t a girl date around here?”
“Well so much for a dream date! Thanks a lot.”
“It’s okay sweetheart. We can just keep our date going on here, in the glow of the deadly cow plant.”
“Hey baby, what’s a hot zombie like you doing in a place like this. Quinton see, Quinton like!”
“So my Uncle Komei always said, dur, girls are pretty.”
Uncomfortable is sitting in the secret society drinking coffee while your recently found heart throb is talking with the guy you were just on a date with about movies, or curtains, or whatever the hell that bubble is.
Ahh, the secret society, where the perks never end and the fun begins. I always, always get my Uglacy kids accepted. It’s a family tradition! Other then a few cow plant mishaps, it’s a great college experience. It was, after all, where Don the zombie was originally born… died… resurrected. Whatever.
Angel was on top of the world, and then she meant… Heather Huffington. Heather is a top member of the Tri-Var Sorority. She romances Castor Nova under the nose of her good friend Tiffany. She is a snob, a slob, and a sleeze. And she did not like Angel, who she obviously thought was beneath her own high standards.
Meanwhile, Gage Jr. was on the brink of failing his sophomore semester, so I forced him to study with Angel.
Yet another one of Angel’s wants, a wormrat. So I cave. Meet Panda. Let’s see how long poor Panda survives.
Angel needs some aspiration fodder since she keeps rolling weird wants like selling a masterpiece when she has 3 creativity points. So anyhows, we call Quinton over for a date, and tried to ignore the tramp in the background dancing in her underwear throughout the date. Angel was heart farting the whole time. Also notice the whore witch back there stalking.
Seriously, tramp in your underwear, back off. You are not going to win Quinton from Angel.
Or girls as the case may be…
Secret Society has it’s perks, but I had forgotten what pigs these people are. Does my sim look like your personal maid people? These kids need a class in cleaning! Angel may be nice but she is sick of cleaning up your dirty dishes. On top of it they eat like pigs and have a “magical” refrigerator that never needs stocking.
Gage, on the other hand, fits right in. “Gulp, gulp, snort, munch, slurp, gulp…”
“Oh Quinton! What a dream date, pillow fighting for hours on end!”
“Let’s hold hands, Quinton.”
Who rolls a want to date and go to the library. That’s just depressing. Good thing Quinten is dumber than a box of rocks or he would have lost interest a long time ago.
Hallelulah…Hallelulah….Hallelulah! It only took 4 dates, but whose counting?
So I decided this couple needed a real date, not Angel’s pathetic attempts, and took this couple downtown to the Botanical restaurant. I missed the Sims 2 downtown so much. Absolutely the most fun ever, well actually it got disturbing when I once downloaded a mod bed for free will woohoo and made a hotel, but that’s a story for another day. Tell me you haven’t missed this fellow sim players. Recently, I heard Sims 4 is going to have a restaurant expansion…. really? Hate to tell you EA, but *cough, cough, rip off! Let us toast your repackaging and reselling of this expansion. “To EA, the money making gurus of recycled ideas.”
Sadly, Angel doesn’t have much money, but like the poor college student they are, she and Quinton shared cake. Let them have cake, I say. Ahh, the restaurant interactions, eating each others’ food and blowing kisses. Sure beats rabbit holes any day.
I know what you’re thinking, but you would be wrong. Angel just wanted a picture.
Sadly, Angel, wants to be BFF’s with Heather Huffington for who the hell knows why reasons. Ever since she met her in the gym, Angel won’t let it go. But I try to make my little sims happy, and it really pisses me off when they get snubbed by townies or even worse pre-made CAS sims in pink striped pants. What? Are you Marsha from the Brady Bunch? The Seventies called, and they want their clothes back.
“I would invite you to pledge into the Tri Var, but we have standards, and I doubt you would pass our rigorous vision exam. I hear Zombies can’t see, why with their eyeballs falling out and all.”
“Now run along, we don’t allow legacy trash around here. And don’t stink up our sidewalk on the way out.”
“Now hold on just a second, sister. No one insults my cousin like that. I hate to tell you that you’re the one with vision problems if you picked that outfit. You’re just pissed cause you will never make our legacy with those good looks. You’re doomed to spend your pathetic life swooning over Castor Nova, living in a pink house in your pink clothes, and never getting out of college.”
“OH my goodness, how rude, how boorish… how manly. No man has talked to me like that, and yet I feel this magnetic pull I cannot explain…”
“I know I should be repelled by you, but I am but a moth to a flame. We should go out, but not in public. I have a certain reputation to uphold.”
“Grandpa Don. I rolled a want to visit with a relative!”
“Grandpa Don, I really, really want to join the Tri-Var Sorority house, but they hate me. Heather Huffington hates me. She says I’m a stinky zombie. I don’t know how to be popular. Maybe if you taught me how to make chili.”
And thus, the Uglacy Greek House was born. I didn’t actually go for the 5X5 lot cause that’s just humogous for a greek house and is guaranteed to glitch by generation 3. We took the 4X4 route, and between Angel’s good grades and harvesting money trees, she and Gage Jr. had about 7 grand. This is what we could build. Who would not want to pledge to this house, complete with an aspirational love tub…to lure unsuspecting victims in. There were no cheats in the making of our greek house… well not technically…
You see, boys and girls, money trees are not cheating. They are aspirational fodder for the taking. But they don’t yield that much money. And it takes a lot of water, and all your guests like to steal the money. So what is a poor little Greek house to do?
“Hey Gage, have you seen the counterfeiting machine? We’re missing one.”
“Hey, did you hear that someone took the counterfeiting machine from the Secret Society?”
Speaking of stealing, Professor Jerk here kept coming by every night harvesting our money trees. We couldn’t get him to leave, so I thought, hey, I’ll have him jump in the hot tub with Angel to pull him away from the trees. Just to befriend him and build up her grades.
But… (and this would only happen to me), Angel gets hit by lightning, not the jerk professor of course. I get her out of the tub pronto to run her into the house… not wanting anything to happen to my precious founder…When what to my wandering eye should occur?!!!
Who says lightning can’t hit twice. WAAAAAH! Great, fricking great! My founder is dead. Seriously?! At this point, what are my options?
All my hopes and dreams fell on Gage Jr. Oh good grief. Beg Gage Jr. Beg like it’s Heather Huffington.
No pressure, Gage Jr., but you better pick the right hand or this legacy is over. The future of the Uglacies is on your shoulders. Please don’t let me down. Did I say how sorry I was about those college years and leaving in the sim bin for years? OH geesh, I got to look away. I can’t watch. I have to watch. I could still exit without saving if he screws up. No one would know, I could delete the last few slides…
“YES, I shoot and score. In your face Grimmy!”
“Oh gosh, Gage Jr., thank you for saving me! I thought everything was doomed!”
“Well that sucked. ”
Upgrade time. We have fancy windows! Woot! Woot! Of course the stripper photo bombed this.
“Hi Heather!”
*silence*
“Did you hear about that lame new Greek House that weird zombie girl started. I hear no one is joining, and they have some stalker professor hanging out on the lawn. No wonder they are only a level one, haha!”
Not that this guy was paying attention any way. Typical Secret Society loser.
“That’s it Heather, I was nice to you. I wanted to be your best friend forever! Well you want a Greek House war?! You got one. And the Uglacies may not know much, but we know how to party! Bring it on!”
Step 2: Invite a variety of friends and participate in an array of interesting and tantalizing conversation.
Step 3: Randomly make out with a few of the guests to up the party rating. We just went to “Not Bad”. Have books available so nerds like Christopher can read novels at their leisure.
Step 4: Invite Heather Huffington to the party, and use her like a roll of cheap toilet paper to get that rating to Roof Raiser! Treat my sims like crap and you pay a price…
Well I don’t know about everyone else, but I think I just threw up a little in my mouth.
“Heather? What are you doing here? Why are you in a bikini?”
“So you got a roof raiser and two pledges. It’s going to take a whole lot more than that to beat Tri-Var.”
I don’t know which is more disturbing. Watching Gage Jr. Woohoo Heather Huffington,or watching him play with Panda the wormrat. It’s a close call. Maybe I should have a poll.
Winter is coming… no really it is. Gagey get some clothes on and stay away from the OCD coach. We don’t need to be begging for another life.
Seriously, what part of winter is coming are you guys not getting? This is not bikini weather. On a side note, isn’t that bright red plumbob pretty? You don’t see plumbobs like that in every legacy. Rudolph has nothing on us. It’s a gift really, a natural talent at sim playing. I look at all the pretty platinum plumbobs on other people’s legacies and think, what the hell? Do they cheat?!
The college years would not be complete with at least one Toga Party! Toga, Toga, Toga! Okay, does anyone notice Gage Jr. in this picture. What in boolprop is he describing? Ugh. No PG 13 here.
Apparently she bought it, and she pledged in, and it upped our party score. Go Gagey J!
Get ready for some “As the Sims Turn…drama”
Then he goes smacking Angel around!
“What a jerk, I can’t believe I ever liked that guy. And I can’t believe what a wimp my boyfriend is for not defending me!”
Phil decided that next he was going to open a can of whoop ass up on Gagey J. And so they fought for literally an hour. Now this wrecked the party score of course, but the entertainment was great. Pop the popcorn, baby, cause this is better than pay for view. Well kind of. Not really. But it is free!
“I ain’t some girl you can slap around bitch. Next time you try to open a can of whoop ass, try bringing a can opener.”
“Waaah, I got my butt kick.”
Speaking of Angel…
“Oh? OHHHHHHH.”
Angel’s final party was her graduation party. She even invited grandpa Don, but the picture was ruined by everyone heart farting over Robin Cho. Seriously guys? She’s not all that and a bag of chips too. Look at that haircut, it could take someone’s eye out.
DON! Not you too. You better not let Samara see that thought bubble!
“Durrr, this assignment is so hard!”
The Uglacy Greek House, now a level 5, which beats Tri-Var (at a 3). If I was a good sim player it would be 10, sigh. That ship has sailed. It has Christopher Cwik, Robin Cho, Phil Barakat, and Aurora Woodrow (all from the secret society) there to keep it running for the next generation of Uglacies.
And so the time had come for Angel to go off into the world and start this legacy up. But before we go, one more picture for your viewing enjoyment.
Hey, Heather, I think you missed a spot! Well that’s it for now folks! It’s been great playing the sims 2, and if you are getting an itch to play it again, let me give you a hint. EA now has The Sims 2 Ultimate Collection on Origin that you can get for FREE. It’s the original game PLUS all the expansions. Yea, yea, I Know the internet says it happened in July 2014… but here’s what you do. You go to Origin, go to chat help, you give the sob story that you had the original game, and that you missed out on the free game. They will ask you for the cd code of either your game or any expansion. If you give them that, you can download the free game. I read it in a forum, tried it, and it worked! I didn’t even have all the expansions, so Bonanza!!! Take advantage of the free giveaway, and then join us at 
“So kids, are you ready for a good story? I was known for being a good storyteller in my time. You see Sims 3 were not the first sims to roam random neighborhoods. There was another time, in a galaxy far, far away… Let me take you back…”
“Listen lady, you just bribed us with candy to be here. We don’t want to hear lame old stories, we want to play video games and look pretty. That’s what we do.”
“Look you little ingrates, you are going to hear my story and you are going to like it! Now circle round, cause this might get a little scary for you lolly pop munchkins!”
So originally, Maxis said let there be sims, and there was the Sims 1. And Maxis look upon Sims 1 and said,this is good. And Maxis created Sims 2. Sims 2 was the rise of the Sim Empire. Us writers came alive. Stories such as the Uglacy, Apocalypso-Go-Go, Bearly Alive, Simhaven, Disney Legacy and so many more ruled the exchange. Challenges, Apocalypses, stories of every shape and size, unbelievable videos, player made content, it was the golden days of the sims. There was something for everyone. All on one main site. And it was a free site with free content.
But sadly it was not destined to last. EA figured out that to make money they needed to recycle it and repackage the sims. Worse they shut down the exchange and nothing since has compared community-wise. The fans scattered to the winds, trying to keep stories alive on blogs and in player ran forums. Alas, the golden age had died.
“Lady no offense, but that’s a boring story. Sorry your life is so pathetic. It’s not even scary. What does it matter to us if that game got trashed. Look at us, we’re far superior. We’re all pretty, and now everyone can take prettier pictures and have flowery backgrounds and log in Origin and buy lots and lots of content with actual money. It’s a paradise. You’re just old and stuck in the past.”
“Kid, I hate to break your little cookie cutter heart… well not really, but EA is about to do the same thing to your world. Sims 3 is being replaced by Sims 4.
“WHAT?! They can’t do that! We are gorgeous, perfect sims. What about all the expansions?!”
“Yeah well suck it up, buttercup. Sims 2 had plenty of expansions and it didn’t save them. Your neighborhood is about to go to the graveyard of forgotten games.
“Waaah, you’re mean lady. I don’t want to go to that graveyard and die!”
“That’s scary, tell me it’s just a story. They didn’t make no Sims 4! You’re just being mean and lying to scare us!”
“Nope, mean maybe but not lying. You kids can kiss your perfect little Sims 3 butts good-bye! If you get lucky, someone will save you on their hard-drive. Worse, Sims 3 didn’t have any of the legends that Sims 2 had. No Goopy, no Komei, No Sandy Bruty… no, you won’t even be remembered for much but pretty pictures and unknown townies. So was my ghost story scary enough for you now?!”
“Oh no, they are going to be prettier sims than us. No one will want to play us anymore. We’re all going to die! I don’t wanna die!”
“Now, now, little girl whose name doesn’t matter to me. There is some hope. Maybe your creator will have a sucky computer and outdated graphic card and won’t be able to install the Sims 4. Now you kids ska-doodle, doodle, okay. I’m tired of using you shamelessly for my soap box.”
After completely destroying those kids hopes and dreams, I went out to check on my horse Photobomb. It sounds like a strange name for a horse, but you’ll understand soon. In general, I never liked Sims 3 that well, but I did like the horse aspect. The pet expansion was well done. Otherwise, I was disappointed. If you love the Sims 3, then more power to you, I guess we all have our own taste in games.
“Excuse me. Are you not Ms. Candi020765, the original writer and creator of the Uglacy?”
“It was a masterpiece! I loved reading it on long flights. And Gage, my favorite character ever. He had so much hotness to him. His animal print garment was mesmerizing. He was a favorite among my people.”
“Er, Okay, most people liked Don the Zombie better. But I’m glad you had a favorite.”
“Sure I guess I could do that. Just come by tomorrow and you can have a copy.”
“Wow, he’s a nice neighbor. But there’s something a little different about him, I just can’t put my finger on it.”
“Can you get the hell out of my picture, I’m trying to write a story here!”
“Yup, they are still there, even my Apocalypse neighborhood. Gosh, I miss this game. Maybe I’ll play it again someday. Well time to reinstall.”
“Now that that’s all done, nothing like a little relaxing telescoping at the end of the night. What, what’s that Photobomb? I shouldn’t telescope with my space rock collection all around me?”
“Pfft, silly horse. You can’t get abducted in the Sims 3. They don’t have cheats for that. Er is that… uh oh.”
“OH hell no, I am outta here. I saw Fire in the sky… no way… oh look pretty lights!”
“I didn’t know Sims 3 had the Northern lights. Wow, that must have come with Seasons… ahh… crap.”
“Arrrgh, I refuse to get abducted, I am going to hide under this cliff and ensure my abduction pictures completely suck.”
“Wait, I can explain. If this is about the time I played Starcraft… Oh, I get it, this is an abduction, you’re just going to take me for a little ride around the neighborhood, drop me off all in the red and miserable. Well jokes on you boys, I’m a Knowledge sim.”
“Hey wait a minute. This doesn’t seem right. Is your ship supposed to do this?! Oh good grief, don’t tell me the game is crashing again!”
“Are we there now, are we? I don’t remember these trips taking so long.”
“Thank you for flying United Aliens and have a nice day! Tell Gage hello for us!”
“ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH!!!!”
“Oh my gosh, this isn’t Sims 3. I recognize this neighborhood. It’s Strangetown. But this is impossible!”
“For the love of boolprop, I should have known better than to trust that guy from France. You can’t trust those frenchies.”
“Fine, I’ll just start walking like the homeless townie I am.”
“It can’t be, not after all these years…”
“I have to go in. But what is Don going to say? He’s going to be furious with me. I’ve left him locked in a hard drive for years. Granted, I kept him, but he’s going to be pissed.”
“Don?”
“You betrayed us? For another game?!”
“Erm, yes. But I made replicas of all of you in my Sims 3.”
“Oh well isn’t that great! You made REPLICAS of us! While we were stuck in your hard drive waiting for you to come back! Meanwhile you were playing Sims 3! You’re nothing but a traitor. Well isn’t that just fine and dandy!”
“Don, I’m so sorry. I don’t know what I was thinking. I loved this game, I loved all of you. But it was new and shiny, and I thought it would be just as fun as this game. It wasn’t, Don. It was full of rabbit holes and cookie cutter sims. None of them had an ounce of your personality. Please forgive me. I knew not what I did.”
“NO can do missy. I just can’t forgive it. First you cheated with World of Warcraft, and now this. YOU left us, YOU betrayed us. Now leave, just go. Go back to your Sims 3 game, or betray all of them for Sim 4. I don’t care!”
“Can’t you hear, he said get out! We don’t want your kind around here. You know better than to mess with me, nice points ain’t my thing. Play us, use us to get famous, and then forget us like yesterday’s news. Well go take your traitorous crap somewhere else!”
Head down to the Crypt! The best downtown bar the Sims have ever seen. These were the days before rabbit holes and bars where you served yourself. But of course who is there but Miss Crumplebottom. Man, I missed her antics.
“Hmmph, I can’t believe the nerve of that simself, showing her face up here after all these years. Why I never…”
So what if Crumplebottom had issues. I’d just go dancing. The Crypt was always the place to hang out and dance, and unlike Sims 3 bars, it always had a crowd.
“Yeah, why don’t you get out of here Benedict Arnold or I’ll pay someone to bitch slap you!”
“Ugh, Woman, you have never appreciated my excellent taste in interior design. Well, no matter, I should warn you I do have a room mate.”
“I should have guessed. Goopy is the perfect room mate for you. Now Gage focus, I appreciate you took me in, but we are just friends, so stop rolling any other wants right now.”
“We’re just two wild and crazy guys…”
“Hey Mrs. Robinson, want to help me with my homework? It’s Anatomy.”
“Geesh Gage, this is so sad. Sims 2 was a big game in the day, and now it has been shoved aside. I miss you guys, I really do.”
“Wow, I never thought I’d be taking advice from you, but you’re right Gage. Who says I have to stop writing Sims 2 stories. I’m going to start again!”
“Well I donno, other than me all the Uglacies pretty much got hit with the ugly stick. I would say Gage Jr. but he has no desire for marriage or baby making. He’s a bit like the old man.”
“Wait, you know what, what about Angel?”
“Angel? That does sound familiar. And she is a direct link to Don and Samara. But is she pretty?”
“You’re a genius Gage, let’s go to Don’s house. I have to see this Angel.”
“Please be pretty, please be pretty…”
“Of course I’ve heard about you, grandma and grandpa talk about you all the time. But I’m too nice a sim to repeat what they say. You left us in your hard drive… for years.”
“Oh would I?!”
“Oh this will be so much fun! I can’t wait.”
“I hate the idea! How can you even ask this of our family after the way you betrayed us?!”
Me: “Don I am not just using her to recycle the family, but this is an opportunity to breathe new life into this game.”
“Grandpa, please, I want to. I want to have all the fun and excitement that you and Grandma had.”
“Alright, fine, Angel wants to do this. But I have one condition, she is to go to college. She’s technically a 10th generation, hell 12th generation founder, so it shouldn’t break the rules. I won’t have her missing her education and just being a baby making machine.”
“Angel, do you know what you’re getting into? Legacy living is not easy.”
“Well, I’m with grandpa. I don’t like this one bit.”
sims 2 Uglacy 